Marked Jokes
52 marked jokes and hilarious marked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the concept of "marked jokes," a system that uses a sign, application, and reset process to designate a joke as "safe" for all audiences. Learn more about how this system works and its implications for comedy.
Funniest Marked Short Jokes
Short marked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The marked humour may include short modified jokes also.
- If Facebook buys Gmail, instead of 'mark as read' the feature will be called, 'Mark has read'.
- This week in DC, mark zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable. He's explaining Facebook to old people.
- I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary. I told him, - Mark, my words!
- Girls, if a guy remembers your birthday, saves your pictures knows what you enjoy and understands your family and friends, This guy is not your man.
This guy is Mark Zuckerberg. - Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious
- The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused Mark Zuckerberg significant emotional distress. He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
- The cast of star wars VII just finished their first read through Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?
- Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears... 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...
- My wife asked why I was whispering. I told her that Mark Zuckerburg might be listening.
Then she laughed, and Siri laughed, and Alexa laughed. - Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter. He runs Facebook.
Share These Marked Jokes With Friends
Marked One Liners
Which marked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with marked? I can suggest the ones about designated and marks.
- What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school? Oh, high marks.
- Yo momma is so fat… …her car has stretch marks.
- The latest reviews for The Room are in... overall it's got hi marks.
- Hey Joe, Do you pray before every meal? No Mark, my wife is a good cook.
- Do special ed teachers mark late students as tardy? i have no shame.
- Highlighter pens are the future... Mark my words
- To the English teacher that stole my calendar... Your days are numbered. Mark my words.
- What do you call a punctuation mark that's got a girlfriend? ..accommodating.
- The results for The Disaster Artist are in. Overall, it's received Hi Marks.
- Mark Zuckerberg values your privacy at $157 Facebook stock price
- I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard. I expect a long sentence.
- Women are like raincoats. In a box in my attic marked "raincoats."
- Why couldn't Cleopatra accept Mark Anthony's death? She was the queen of denial
- I'm going to start collecting highlighters Mark my words
- What did Mark Zuckerberg say when the US shot down the UFO? Oh no, not my Uber!
Marked Safe Jokes
Here is a list of funny marked safe jokes and even better marked safe puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Mark Zuckerberg posted a new status on his profile today. Mark Zuckerberg has marked himself safe during the 2018 Congressional Hearings on Facebook Data.
- I think Facebook needs a group so gingers can mark themselves as safe in this heat.
- How do ISIS members practice safe s**...? they mark the camels that kick
- How do they practice safe s**... in Wyoming? They mark the sheep that kick.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Marked Jokes
What funny jokes about marked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean named jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make marked pranks.
The troubles of foreigners in Canada
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
**
As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she said, "This is wrong."
"Question 2 ?" I asked.
"No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs."
A nun was fired from her job in heaven...
A nun was fired from her job in heaven, so she came down to earth and started looking for a job. One night, when she is filling out a job application, there is a question that asks her to check the boxes next to the jobs that she has previously worked at. She looks at the answers for a second, and then checks the box marked, "Nun of the above."
A Russian man lives all alone in a cabin
One day, someone from the government shows up and tells him that due to a map surveyor's error in the 1940s, the cabin he lives in was mistakenly marked as part of Russia, but in fact, it's actually a part of Belarus.
"Oh thank God!" the man exclaims. "I don't think I would have been able to stand another Russian winter here."
What's the best place to meet women?
I tried this door marked "Ladies" and they just yelled at me.
As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she suddenly stopped, looked up at me and shook her head in utter disappointment. With cold, dead eyes, she muttered, "This is wrong." Mouth dry, I whispered, "Question 2?"
She snarled, "No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs."
In 1991, a country banned expressions of surrender, acceptance, or agreement.
That marked the fall of the "So be it" Union.
Do you know why Chicken Run was as an marked explicit movie?
It has fowl language
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
Medication
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed To me has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
I wish the auto manufacturers would make up their minds.
I was behind a van that said Dodge on the back of it then a truck that was marked Ram. What do they want us to do? Avoid them or hit them?
John, Bob, Tim, and Scott rob a bank.
John is the getaway driver who waits in the lot. Bob disables the alarms, Tim unlocks the safe, and Scott is able to locate the marked bills. Bob and Tim leave the bank and John drives them away.
They got off Scott-free.
I had to return my new mail-order guitar
So I marked it "return to Fender"
James and Rob went fishing
James and Rob went fishing. They caught a lot of fish and returned to the shore.
**James:** I hope you remember the spot where we caught all these fish.
**Rob:** Yes, I marked X on the side of the boat to mark the spot.
**James:** You idiot! How do we know we will get the same boat tomorrow?
Eve eating the apple marked..
.. the first time when Artificial Intelligence got out of its creator's control.
"I'll take two of them..."
A blonde walks into a bar that has a sign marked: "For Men Only". "I'm sorry, ma'am," says the bartender. "We only serve men in this place." "That's OK, " says the blonde. "I'll take two of them..."
In 7th grade we had a quiz where we were asked "what did France set up during the French Revolution." They marked me wrong and I'm still a little upset about it.
I still maintain "tons and tons of guillotines" is a correct answer
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence.
The senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
The economy is so bad
The economy is so bad, if the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds" you call & ask if they meant you or them.....
The fourth Harry Potter book marked a huge tone shift for the rest of the series.
I mean, the fifth book was dead serious.
Yo mommas so black
she has been marked absent at night school.
An US tourist visiting the USSR fell down the open manhole...
After he was helped out, he started complaining: why on earth such as danger was not marked properly? In the USA there would be red lanterns or at least some red flags. "How did you arrive in Moscow?" asked one of the Russians who helped him out. "Well, via Sheremetyevo airport". "Haven't you noticed the huge red flag on its main building?"
A teacher was taking attendance
She noticed one student was missing and marked him absent. She continues on with her lesson until, about a half hour in, the student walks in. She says to him, You're late. He says nothing and instead pulls out a clock, No, he says and proceeds to sit on the clock, I'm right on time.
A postal carrier is working on a new beat.......
when all of a sudden he comes upon a garden gate marked BEWARE OF THE PARROT!
Befuddled, he looks down the walk and into the garden and, sure enough, there is indeed a parrot sitting on its perch.
He has a little chuckle to himself at the sign and the parrot there on its perch.
The mailman opens the gate and walks into the garden.
He gets as far as the parrot's perch, when suddenly the parrot calls out: "REX, ATTACK!"
The Russian army orders 100K rubbers from a US company, specifying 12" fit needed.
The US firm fills the order with packaging marked "MEDIUM."
Here I made some bubble wrap
>!Iron!< >!Man !< >!dies!< >!in!< >!Infinity!< >!War!<
>!Jesus!< >!dies!< >!in!< >!the!< >!Bible!<
>!2021!< >!will!< >!be!< >!even!< >!worse!<
>!What did you expect they were marked as spoiler!<
If you eat the prize from a cereal box..
does that make you a specially marked box?
source: soos says some words
A nanny bathes twins
A nanny bathes a set of twins. The twins were marked with numbers, the first born marked with a 1 and the second born marked with a 2. The nanny bathes both the twins and the parents come in and say
Where are the numbers?! We can't tell them apart any more
The nanny says I can tell them apart by their b**...
How?!
One bawls in the morning one bawls in the afternoon
Saw a gravestone yesterday marked 'Eliza'...
Eliza Mann
Today my wife and I marked our twenty year wedding anniversary.
If I would have killed her I would be out of jail by now.
A programmer was found dead in the shower this morning ...
Next to him was found a shampoo bottle marked 'Lather, Rinse, Repeat'.
I was fired from my last job for having s**... in a fitting room.
Marked it down on my application as "experience with customer relations."
