Marital Jokes
26 marital jokes and hilarious marital puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marital that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready to laugh - and maybe take some marital advice - with this collection of jokes about all aspects of marriage, from prenups to affairs and more. Read on for humorous takes on married life, as told by Sadie.
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Funniest Marital Short Jokes
Short marital jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The marital humour may include short marriage jokes also.
- Marital Argument A husband and wife had been arguing all day. They pass a herd of jackasses. The wife says "relatives of yours?" Husband says, "yep, in laws."
- Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity? It's a sad state of affairs.
Cr - Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.
- Marital problems "You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"
Always seems like a strange way for my wife to start a conversation with me. - Michigan is leading in rates of both marital infidelity and depression. It's a sad state of affairs.
- Any man who has an abusive wife Any man who has an abusive wife, needs to start practicing marital arts.
- Just for laughs, I named my newborn son 'Someoneyourownsize' Soon I will teach him brutal marital arts
- I'll always remember Dad's marital advice... Marry a woman with small hands so it'll look bigger.
- Marital problems and automotive problems are solved the same way. With a lot of swearing, hammering, and drilling.
- My new wife doesn't believe in post-marital s**... either Says she wants to save herself for somebody special.
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Marital One Liners
Which marital one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with marital? I can suggest the ones about married life and martial.
- Four men are waiting for their wives in a marital ward.
- What does a Japanese man experience when he marries a Jewish woman? marital bris
- What's the difference between Martial and Marital? Whether the violence is domestic.
- Why does Curt Connors have marital problems? Because of his reptile disfunction
- What do divorce lawyers practice to defend themselves? Marital Arts.
- Do men get P.M.S.? My girlfriend said I have Pre Marital Syndrome.
- What do you call a bachelor dinosaur? Pre-marital Rex!
- I don't always have pre-marital s**...... But when I do it's not with my wife.
Giggle-Inducing Marital Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about marital you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean married people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make marital pranks.
A researcher carrying out a phone survey on marital s**......
phoned one of the participants to check on a discrepancy. He asked the husband: "In response to the question on frequency of i**..., you answered 'once a week,' but your wife answered 'several times a night.'"
"That's correct," said the husband. "And that's the way it's going to be until the mortgage is paid off."
Marital Misunderstanding
It's 4.00am. A man comes stumbling home and bursts drunk into his bedroom. He's totally dishevelled, stinks of booze and has a goat tucked under his arm. His wife sits up with a shriek and shouts:
"How dare you come home in that condition! And what's that thing under your arm?"
Her husband looks at her and says:
"This is the pig I sleep with when you're having one of your headaches."
"You idiot. That's not a pig it's a goat!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to my goat."
A 90 year old woman is getting married for the fourth time.
A news crew is there to document the story. The reporter asks the woman about her odd marital past. "Let me get this right," he says. "Your first husband was a banker. Your second husband was a clown. Your third husband was a doctor, and you're about to marry a mortician. Why the menagerie of different men?" She smirked and said "It was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go."
A couple are having marital difficulties,
...and the wife suggests they see a marriage counsellor.
At their first session the counsellor asks the couple to explain to each other how they feel about their marriage.
The wife says: We are at a crossroads. To the left is bitterness, resentment, divorce and a life of unhappiness. To the right is reconciliation, love and lifelong happiness.
The husband says: I think you'll find that's a T-junction.
My wife and I were having some marital issues but we have moved on.
We have been doing it d**... a lot lately, too much if you ask me. I guess I shouldn't complain. Her s**..., her rules.
What helps a straight married couples s**... life but ruins a gay married couples s**... life?
Marital AIDS
Marital trust issues
"So you trusted your wife enough to have your child but not enough to have her in your bank?"
"I trusted **t**...** to make a better quality c**..."
