Mario Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

What did Mario say to Peach when they broke up?

It's not you, it's a me a Mario!

What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

...It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!

Why isn't Hitler in Mario Kart?

Because he cant finish a race

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board.

Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

Mario is a recovering alcoholic...

haunted by the thought of Boos.

"It's a boy!" Mario shouted. "It's a boy!"

With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mario came running out of the room....and never visited Bangkok again.

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

What does Mario use to talk to dead people?

A Luigi Board

So Mario is talking to Luigi.

"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"

EA is releasing a new Mario game!

it's called Pay-Per-Mario.

What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim.

Don't be racist; be like Mario

He's an Italian plumber, made by Asians, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, runs like a black man and grabs coins like a jew.

What does Mario use to contact his dead brother?

A Luigi Board.

Toad was always my favorite Mario character

He just seems like a fungi.

What type of pants does Mario wear?

denimdenimdenim...denimdenimdenim...

Mario sits Princess Peach down to have a serious talk.

Peach, we've been together a long time, I've saved you countless times, but I just can't go on any longer.

But I want you to know, it's not you, itsa me, Mario.

Some people say that Nintendo has no 3rd party games...

They have obviously never heard of Mario Party 3

How do you break up with somebody in Italy?

It's not you! It's a me, Mario!

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday.

She said she was tired of the abuse, and couldn't take it anymore.

She's the one who wanted to play Mario Kart.

Mario's Jeans

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

*(in appropriate melody)* Denim, denim, denim...

How did Mario talk to his brother after he died?

He used a Luigi board.

My son is in hospital because of one little driving mistake...

He beat me at Mario Kart.

What type of overalls does Super Mario wear?

Denimdenimdenim

What's Mario's favorite bagel flavor?

Ses-a-ME! Mario!

They say Nintendo doesn't make third party games...

*Pulls out Mario Party 3*

Mario & Luigi

Mario :- Ey Luigi , whats this funny ol' image called.
Luigi:- It a Meme , Mario

Why did Mario always bring Toad to parties?

Toad was a fungi.

Which course did Hillary Clinton select when playing Mario Kart?

The short circuit

How to not be racist

Be like Mario! He's made by the japanese, he is an italian plumber, looks like a mexican, runs and jumps like a black man and grabs coins as fast as a Jew!

How does Mario communicate with Boos?

He uses a Luigi board.

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros?

A cow can't be milked for over 30 years

Mario recently broke up with Peach. His reason:

"It's not a-you, It's a-me, Mario."

Nintendo is releasing a micro transaction mobile platformer

Pay Per Mario

How did Mario speak to King Boo?

With a luouiji board!

Where did Mario meet the Princess?

Nintinder

If I had to choose to hang out with either Mario, Luigi or Toad. I'd pick Toad.

He seems like a fungi.

What are Mario and Luigi's overalls made of?

Denim-Denim-Denim

How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over?

He used a Luigi Board.

Why couldn't Super Mario surf the web?

Because Browser wouldn't let him.

If I were Mario I'd hang out with Toad all the time

He seems like a real fun guy.

Why did Mario get fired from being a plumber?

He never put his caulk away.

What's the name of Mario and Lugi's mother?

Mia.

Why did Princess Peach dump Mario for Toad?

Because he just wasn't as much of a fun guy.

Why can't Mario get a tinder date?

His profile picture was him killing a turtle.

What type of overalls does Mario from Nintendo wear?

DenimDenimDenim

How does Mario speak to the dead?

With a Luigi board

Credit to u/gagga_hai

Why did the Piranha Plant start coughing?

Because Mario went down the wrong pipe!

What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle?

He gets Toad

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

What did Mario say when his friend Gus was about to be shot in front of him?

Asparagus

Mario and Luigi got a package in the mail...

Luigi opened it, and exclaimed 'it's a Wii, Mario!'

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With his Luigi board.

How does Mario contact the spirit realm?

With a L-Ouija board.

I love Toad from Super Mario

you know, the little guy with the mushroom head. He always made me laugh.

He's a real fungi.

Doctor: You appear to have potassium poisoning.

Mario: But I've avoided bananas my whole life!

Bit of a different post here - an author introduces a joke but never reveals the punchline...anyone heard this joke? Or make up your own punchline?

In *Infinite Jest* by David Foster Wallace, at one point there's a line -

"...asking Mario if he knows what you call three Canadians copulating on a snowmobile."

But he doesn't say the punchline. I'm assuming maybe this is a commonish kinda joke? I've tried to think of what the punchline is but can't.

My dad used to beat me every night

HORSE, chess, Super Mario..

Super mario bros. 3 blew so hard

All my n64 cartridges started working again

What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim...denim denim demin

I'll see myself out now...thank you

What are the Mario brothers pants made out of?

Denim denim denim

My friend thought he was better Super Mario player than me...

But he was wrong on so many levels.

What are the funniest mario jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Mario? Well, here are the best Mario puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Mario pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes