The Best 27 Marie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Marie jokes. There are some marie claude jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these marie virgin mary puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Marie Jokes and Puns

Little Johnny

"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "Can you give me twenty dollars?"

"Certainly not."

"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."

His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?"

"He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.' "

Two women meet over a coffee.

"Ah, Marie, I haven't seen you in years, what's going on in your life?"

"I have met a charming and well-off young man half my age."


"Indeed. He took me to Paris, we dined in the finest restaurant, bought paintings from the vernissage!"


"Once we marry, he insists that I retire to our moderately sized European house, free to pursue my leisure activities."

"Definitely majestic!"

"But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Annette. What are you up to lately?"

"I signed for an etiquette class. We've already learned to say 'majestic' instead of 'fucking horseshit'"

What is Marie Curie's favorite food?

Fission chips.

Marie joke, What is Marie Curie's favorite food?

Ever seen the play about the French Revolution?

The scene with Marie Antoinette was perfectly executed.

Let them eat Cake

Marie Antoinette started the body positivity movement. Quite revolutionary.

How are Marie Antoinette, Princess Peach, and GLaDOS alike?

They all lie about there being cake.

Marie Antoinette was surprised when she found out how she was being executed

Her Face dropped

Marie joke, Marie Antoinette was surprised when she found out how she was being executed

Why Marie Curie won two Nobel Prizes?

Because she was very rad.

So, apparently, Marie Antoinette was really good at oral sex...

In fact, the entire Third Estate wanted her head!

A man is on a blind date with a girl named Marie and things heat up a little...

He asks her, "Would you object to sex?"

Marie tells him, a little embarrassed, "That's something I've never done."

With this he says, "Really? I've never had sex with a virgin."

Marie replies, "No, silly! I never object."

What do you call a house that organizes your stuff?

Marie Condo.

You can explore marie jane reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean marie maria dad jokes. There are also marie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What is Marie Curie's favorite movie?

It's A Wonderful Half-Life

Little known fact: after their supposed death, Pierre and Marie Curie went on to become successful underwater assassins using a certain heavy metal.

Hundreds of people died of mer-Curie poisoning.

Why did Marie Antoinette travel the world?

Where else would she beheaded?

What do Marie Curies Notebooks and a defected KGB agent have in common?

They both won't be investigated very closely.

What did Marie Antoinette say on my Reddit anniversary?

Let them eat cake day!

Marie joke, What did Marie Antoinette say on my Reddit anniversary?

What was Marie Curie's favourite drink?


What do you call Marie Antoinette's hot tub?

A J'accuse!-i

Do you want to add some salt, asked the husband.

Na... replied Marie Curie.

My parents always thought laughter was the best medicine.

Which is why I suppose the tuberculosis took little Billy and Marie.

Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce?

She didn't want an ex Ray

Sparks joy

I decided to follow Marie Kondo's advice.

I stppped doing groceries. It did not spark joy.
I stopped doing laundry. It did not spark joy.
I stopped changing sheets. It did not spark joy.
I stopped servicing our car. It did not spark joy.
I stopped cooking. It did not spark joy.
I stopped throwing trash. It did not spark joy.

Then my wife left me. She said it did not spark joy.

What killed Marie Curie?



I'm going to bed with a frozen turkey and tomorrow I will wake up to thanksgiving dinner

Anita Marie Echevarria Cynical Comic

You know Marie Antoinette killed Humpty Dumpty at his own wedding?

She made a French toast

Marie Curie died of exposure to the elements.

The Light & The Rainbow

So we're out one night and my boyfriend says "Where's the rainbow?"

and I say "Lookout it's coming right now."

Then we have sex.

My name's Marie.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the marie pilot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working marie anne piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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