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Mari Jokes

117 mari jokes and hilarious mari puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mari that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Mari Jokes

Short mari jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mari humour may include short virgin mary jokes also.

  1. I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious
  2. When Mary had a baby boy, the wise men weren't surprised... ...but you should have seen their eyes when she had the little lamb.
  3. Knock Knock Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Mary.
    Mary who?
    Mary Christmas!
    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Anna.
    Anna who?
    Anna happy new year!
    Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Reddit :)
  4. If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
  5. Pierre Curie walks into his lab and says to his wife: "Marie, everyday you look more radiant." [could be a repost]
  6. So there's this girl named Mary... 1. Mary meets a guy named Joseph
    2. Mary ends up pregnant
    3. ???
    4. Prophet
  7. My 16 year old cousin Mary finally got her period today. So, that was a tense couple of years for me.
  8. Why can't a lesbian diet and wear make up at the same time? Because..........It is hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on her face.
  9. My grandpa once told me he dated Marie Curie. He was attracted to her glowing spirit and radiant personality.
    Sadly, their relationship became toxic.
  10. They call me the Mary Poppins of artillery... I deliver...
    Super-calibre-ballistic-expedient-explosions

Quick Jump To


Mari joke, They call me the Mary Poppins of artillery...


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about mari can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of mari puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Mari One Liners

Which mari one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mari? I can suggest the ones about maria and .

  1. If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God... Did Mary have a little lamb?
  2. What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.
  3. What's the difference between Mariah Carey and Marie Curie? One glitters, the other glows
  4. How did Mary Poppins die? Superkalifragilus ketoacidosis
  5. Jesus Christ was supposed to be named Franklin.... Until Mary stubbed her toe.
  6. What do transvestites do at Christmas? Eat, drink and be Mary.
  7. What is Marie Curie's favorite food? Fission chips.
  8. Why did the crossdresser love Christmas? He could eat drink and be Mary
  9. Why did Mary become rich after giving birth to Jesus? She made a prophet!
  10. There's a new movie out about Marie Curie. It received glowing reviews.
  11. Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked? Because Jesus WEPt.
  12. Marie Curie is my favorite scientist of all time. She was absolutely radiant.
  13. Where did Mary go when the bombs went off? Everywhere.
  14. Mary had a little lamb ..the doctor was surprised.
  15. Mary had a little lamb... Her gynecologist fainted.

Mari joke, Mary had a little lamb...

Giggle-Inducing Mari Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about mari you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make mari prank.

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...

...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?

Because they lacked porpoises.

Marital problems

"You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"
Always seems like a strange way for my wife to start a conversation with me.

why didn't Maria go to prom?

she had no Juan to go with

A m**... plantation was set on fire

witnesses claim a dragon is responsible.

I didn't like this marimba player very much...

...He just had bad vibes.

How can you tell if someone has been in the Marine Corps?

Don't worry. They'll tell you.

What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

...It's not a you, it's a me, mario!

Mario is a recovering alcoholic...

haunted by the thought of Boos.

What does Mario use to talk to dead people?

A Luigi Board

Why did Mario always bring Toad to parties?

Toad was a fungi.

m**... should've been legalized at the same time as same s**...-marriage

because it says in the bible, a man who lies with another man shall be s**...

Two marines are flying into an unfamiliar airport

The put the flaps up and descend lower, lower, lower and finally touch down. The brakes of the plane screeches and howl unlike anything you've ever heard. The plane comes to a stop just inches from the terminal. The pilot exlaims "that's the shortest d**... runway I've ever seen". The co-pilot looks to the left, then looks to the right and says "Yea, but it sure is wide"

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

"It's a Moray."

A Marine received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home...

It read as follows:
---
*Michael*,
*I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is too great and too long. I must confess that I have cheated on you twice, and this situation is not fair for either of us. I'm really sorry.*
*Love, Elizabeth*
*P.S. Please return the picture you have of me*
---
The Marine, his feelings hurt, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they had of mothers, sisters, girlfriends, cousins, ex-girlfriends, or aunts they had. After a while he had obtained a sizeable collection, and so he stuffed them all 62 of them into an envelope, including the picture of Elizabeth, along with this letter:
---
*Elizabeth,*
*I can't quite remember what you look like. Please take your picture from the pile and return the rest.*
*Take care, Michael*

What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle?

He gets Toad

How did Mario speak to King Boo?

With a luouiji board!

"A Marine and his commanding officer.....!!!"

A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!" The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like."

Mario recently broke up with Peach. His reason:

"It's not a-you, It's a-me, Mario."

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board.

Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children.

Soon after the last child is born her husband dies.
A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has
another 22 children with her second husband.
After the last child is born her second husband also dies.
Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time.
Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies.
At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in
her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says,
"At least, they're finally together."
A man standing next to the priest asks,
"Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband,
or Maria and her second husband?"
The priest says, "I mean her legs."

Marine Biologists

A team of marine biologists accidentally catch a porpoise in one of their nets. They about to let it go, when they notice it has feet! They study it and perform tests, and are now ready to release it. One of the biologists asks, "Why don't we cut its feet off?" To which the other replies, "That would defeat the porpoise!"

If I were Mario I'd hang out with Toad all the time

He seems like a real fun guy.

Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for 2 years

There's a sign at every court with her mugshot that says "do not serve this woman".

So Mario is talking to Luigi.

"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"

How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over?

He used a Luigi Board.

Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers' legs.

Turns out he's lack toes intolerant.

Mariage is like deck of cards

At first its like a diamond and heart. Then it turns into a club and s**....

Mario & Luigi

Mario :- Ey Luigi , whats this funny ol' image called.
Luigi:- It a Meme , Mario

How is m**... stock sold on the stock market?

Buy high sell higher.

Mariah Carey'a New Year's performance.

That's it...

I don't see why Mariah Carey is getting so much a**....

Every year at Times Square someone drops the ball.

What do me and Mariah Carey have in common?

Neither of us know the words to any of her songs

Where did Mario meet the Princess?

Nintinder

Why Marie Curie won two Nobel Prizes?

Because she was very rad.

Why can't Mario get a tinder date?

His profile picture was him killing a turtle.

Mario sits Princess Peach down to have a serious talk.

peach, we've been together a long time, I've saved you countless times, but I just can't go on any longer.
But I want you to know, it's not you, itsa me, Mario.

Why is m**... i**... in Saudi Arabia?

In Saudi Arabia, only g**... get s**....

How does Mario communicate with Boos?

He uses a Luigi board.

m**... businesses in Washington and Colorado are now allowed to use banks..

So long as they open joint accounts.

If m**... starts getting sold in a grocery store...

Would it be in the pharmacy or the baking aisle?

What did Mario say to Peach when they broke up?

It's not you, it's a me a Mario!

How does Mario speak to the dead?

With a Luigi board

Credit to u/gagga_hai

There's a Marine in Afghanistan

A marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there, he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. She also wanted the pictures of herself back.
So, the marine did what any other man would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 24 pictures of women (with clothes and some without) to his ex-girlfriend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."

How did Mario talk to his brother after he died?

He used a Luigi board.

How do two Marines find eachother in the dark?

Very satisfying

Maria had 3 children, snowflake, sand, and brick.

One day snowflake goes to her mom and asks her: Mom, why am I called snowflake? Then the mother replies: Because when you were born, a snowflake fell on your head. The next day goes Sand and asks: Mom, why am I called Sand? And the mother replies: Because when you were born, a small grain of sand fell on your head. The next day goes brick and asks: gyefagcxheufrhd

A marine walks into a bar and tries to order a Bin Laden

What's that? , the bartender asked
The marine replied, two shots and a splash of water .

What does Mario use to contact his dead brother?

A Luigi Board.

m**... Possession?

More like joint custody.

Instead of m**... dispensaries why don't they just call it..

Grass stations

What did Mario say when his friend Gus was about to be shot in front of him?

Asparagus

What's the name of Mario and Lugi's mother?

mia.

Two m**... dispensaries created a merger deal, becoming one.

To be blunt, the stakes were high, but they were hopeful as it was a joint venture.

I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements

So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.

My Marine Biologist friend was so excited about her job.

She said she's found her life porpoise.

Why did Mario get fired from being a plumber?

He never put his caulk away.

Someone should really put m**... butter on popcorn and sell it...

they could call it Mari Poppins.

New m**... research reveals that it cures...

Symptoms of motivation by up to 95%.

Maritime Imperial Unit Puns

You can't even fathom how many there are

Marine biologists have discovered a group of killer whales that regularly meets and plays music together.

They call it an orca-stra.

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world."

Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"

Mario got taken to court

He turned out to be guilty, here is the last words of the trial.
Judge: I order to pay a $10,000 fine
Mario: why
Judge: it's a fine
Mario: [sadly] no itsa not

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about

how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your p**...!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

Maria the Catholic

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children.
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children.
A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's f**..., the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together.
" Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

In the Marines they teach you to run towards the people shooting at you.

In the Army they taught us to shoot back.

What does Mario and Luigi smoke?

Wiid.

How does Mario break up with Princess Peach?

It's not you... it's a me, Mario!

What do Mariah Carey and Bob Marley have in common?

They can both sing really high

Marie Antoinette was surprised when she found out how she was being executed

Her Face dropped

What'd one m**... plant say to the other m**... plant?

Let's be best buds.

How does Mario communicate with his recently deceased sibling?

Luigi Board.

Mario goes to court

The judge says: you must pay the court $12,000.
Mario, surpised, asks: Why?
The judge replies: It's a fine.
Mario, heartbroken, sadly says: No itsa not.

Marisa Tomei is an anagram of

It's a-me, Mario

Mario is breaking up with Princess Peach

Peach: Is it me? Is it my fault?
Mario: No, it's-a not-a you, it's-a me, Mario!

I didn't know Mariah Carey liked trees so much.

But apparently all she wants for Christmas is yew.

How are Marie Antoinette, Princess Peach, and GLaDOS alike?

They all lie about there being cake.

A Marine Biologist walks into a lab,

She shouts, I think we found a way for cephalopods to discover fire!
The other scientist asks, how.
She responds with a CD,
By making them listen to my mixtape!

Marital Misunderstanding

It's 4.00am. A man comes stumbling home and bursts drunk into his bedroom. He's totally dishevelled, stinks of booze and has a goat tucked under his arm. His wife sits up with a shriek and shouts:
"How dare you come home in that condition! And what's that thing under your arm?"
Her husband looks at her and says:
"This is the pig I sleep with when you're having one of your headaches."
"You idiot. That's not a pig it's a goat!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to my goat."

Why is Mario so scared of Spanish ghosts?

He's been playing with La Ouija too much.

Why was Mario furious?

He caught Princess Peach going through his Bowser history

Mari joke, Why was Mario furious?

jokes about mari

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these mari jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.