The Best 58 Mari Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Mari jokes. There are some mari mariana jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mari est puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Mari Jokes and Puns
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...
...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?
Because they lacked porpoises.
Marital problems
"You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"
Always seems like a strange way for my wife to start a conversation with me.
why didn't Maria go to prom?
she had no Juan to go with
I didn't like this marimba player very much...
...He just had bad vibes.
How can you tell if someone has been in the Marine Corps?
Don't worry. They'll tell you.
What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her?
...It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!
Mario is a recovering alcoholic...
haunted by the thought of Boos.
What does Mario use to talk to dead people?
A Luigi Board
Why did Mario always bring Toad to parties?
Toad was a fungi.
Marijuana should've been legalized at the same time as same sex-marriage
because it says in the bible, a man who lies with another man shall be stoned
You can explore mari anna reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mari hace dad jokes. There are also mari puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why are marines who can't swim better?
They defend the ship with way more enthusiasm.
A Marine received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home...
It read as follows:
---
*Michael*,
*I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is too great and too long. I must confess that I have cheated on you twice, and this situation is not fair for either of us. I'm really sorry.*
*Love, Elizabeth*
*P.S. Please return the picture you have of me*
---
The Marine, his feelings hurt, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they had of mothers, sisters, girlfriends, cousins, ex-girlfriends, or aunts they had. After a while he had obtained a sizeable collection, and so he stuffed them all 62 of them into an envelope, including the picture of Elizabeth, along with this letter:
---
*Elizabeth,*
*I can't quite remember what you look like. Please take your picture from the pile and return the rest.*
*Take care, Michael*
How did Mario speak to King Boo?
With a luouiji board!
"A Marine and his commanding officer.....!!!"
A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
Mario recently broke up with Peach. His reason:
"It's not a-you, It's a-me, Mario."
How does Mario talk to the dead?
With a luigi board.
Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children.
Soon after the last child is born her husband dies.
A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has
another 22 children with her second husband.
After the last child is born her second husband also dies.
Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time.
Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies.
At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in
her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says,
"At least, they're finally together."
A man standing next to the priest asks,
"Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband,
or Maria and her second husband?"
The priest says, "I mean her legs."
Marine Biologists
A team of marine biologists accidentally catch a porpoise in one of their nets. They about to let it go, when they notice it has feet! They study it and perform tests, and are now ready to release it. One of the biologists asks, "Why don't we cut its feet off?" To which the other replies, "That would defeat the porpoise!"
Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for 2 years
There's a sign at every court with her mugshot that says "do not serve this woman".
So Mario is talking to Luigi.
"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"
Mario & Luigi
Mario :- Ey Luigi , whats this funny ol' image called.
Luigi:- It a Meme , Mario
How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market?
Buy high sell higher.
Mariah Carey'a New Year's performance.
That's it...
What do me and Mariah Carey have in common?
Neither of us know the words to any of her songs
Mario sits Princess Peach down to have a serious talk.
Peach, we've been together a long time, I've saved you countless times, but I just can't go on any longer.
But I want you to know, it's not you, itsa me, Mario.
Why is marijuana illegal in Saudi Arabia?
In Saudi Arabia, only gays get stoned.
How does Mario communicate with Boos?
He uses a Luigi board.
Marijuana businesses in Washington and Colorado are now allowed to use banks..
So long as they open joint accounts.
What is Marie Curie's favorite food?
Fission chips.
If marijuana starts getting sold in a grocery store...
Would it be in the pharmacy or the baking aisle?
What did Mario say to Peach when they broke up?
It's not you, it's a me a Mario!
There's a Marine in Afghanistan
A marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there, he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. She also wanted the pictures of herself back.
So, the marine did what any other man would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 24 pictures of women (with clothes and some without) to his ex-girlfriend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
How did Mario talk to his brother after he died?
He used a Luigi board.
Maria had 3 children, snowflake, sand, and brick.
One day snowflake goes to her mom and asks her: Mom, why am I called snowflake? Then the mother replies: Because when you were born, a snowflake fell on your head. The next day goes Sand and asks: Mom, why am I called Sand? And the mother replies: Because when you were born, a small grain of sand fell on your head. The next day goes brick and asks: gyefagcxheufrhd
A marine walks into a bar and tries to order a Bin Laden
What's that? , the bartender asked
The marine replied, two shots and a splash of water .
What does Mario use to contact his dead brother?
A Luigi Board.
Marijuana Possession?
More like joint custody.
Instead of marijuana dispensaries why don't they just call it..
Grass stations
I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements
So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
Marine biologists have discovered a group of killer whales that regularly meets and plays music together.
They call it an orca-stra.
Mario got taken to court
He turned out to be guilty, here is the last words of the trial.
Judge: I order to pay a $10,000 fine
Mario: why
Judge: it's a fine
Mario: [sadly] no itsa not
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about
how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
Maria the Catholic
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children.
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children.
A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together.
" Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
How does Mario break up with Princess Peach?
It's not you... it's a me, Mario!
What do Mariah Carey and Bob Marley have in common?
They can both sing really high
How does Mario communicate with his recently deceased sibling?
Luigi Board.
Mario goes to court
The judge says: you must pay the court $12,000.
Mario, surpised, asks: Why?
The judge replies: It's a fine.
Mario, heartbroken, sadly says: No itsa not.
I didn't know Mariah Carey liked trees so much.
But apparently all she wants for Christmas is yew.
A Marine Biologist walks into a lab,
She shouts, I think we found a way for cephalopods to discover fire!
The other scientist asks, how.
She responds with a CD,
By making them listen to my mixtape!
Marital Misunderstanding
It's 4.00am. A man comes stumbling home and bursts drunk into his bedroom. He's totally dishevelled, stinks of booze and has a goat tucked under his arm. His wife sits up with a shriek and shouts:
"How dare you come home in that condition! And what's that thing under your arm?"
Her husband looks at her and says:
"This is the pig I sleep with when you're having one of your headaches."
"You idiot. That's not a pig it's a goat!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to my goat."
Why is Mario so scared of Spanish ghosts?
He's been playing with La Ouija too much.
Why was Mario furious?
He caught Princess Peach going through his Bowser history
How did Mario break up with the Princess?
He said, "It's not you, it's a me, Mario!"
what did mario kart do when it got hungry
mario kart 8
Marital Argument
A husband and wife had been arguing all day. They pass a herd of jackasses. The wife says "relatives of yours?" Husband says, "yep, in laws."
How did Mario talk to ghosts?
He used a Luigi board.
Marie-Antoinette heard of the starving karma farmers of reddit
Let them have cake day
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mari pez jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working mari virgin mary piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.