Mari Jokes
117 mari jokes and hilarious mari puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mari that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Mari Short Jokes
Short mari jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mari humour may include short virgin mary jokes also.
- I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious
- When Mary had a baby boy, the wise men weren't surprised... ...but you should have seen their eyes when she had the little lamb.
- Knock Knock Knock knock
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna happy new year!
Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Reddit :) - Pierre Curie walks into his lab and says to his wife: "Marie, everyday you look more radiant." [could be a repost]
- So there's this girl named Mary... 1. Mary meets a guy named Joseph
2. Mary ends up pregnant
3. ???
4. Prophet - My 16 year old cousin Mary finally got her period today. So, that was a tense couple of years for me.
- My grandpa once told me he dated Marie Curie. He was attracted to her glowing spirit and radiant personality.
Sadly, their relationship became toxic. - Biblical Parenting Techniques Joseph: What should we do about Jesus acting up in school?
Mary: I don't know it's not like raising the Son of God came with Emmanuel - Why were Mary and Joseph considered such good businessmen? Because they produced such a great prophet.
- A bar owner walks up to his bartender… and asks him, hey, are you sleeping with Mary the waitress?
The bartender says no, I'm not
The owner then replies, good, you fire her
Share These Mari Jokes With Friends
Mari One Liners
Which mari one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mari? I can suggest the ones about maria and .
- If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God... Did Mary have a little lamb?
- What's the difference between Mariah Carey and Marie Curie? One glitters, the other glows
- How did Mary Poppins die? Superkalifragilus ketoacidosis
- Jesus Christ was supposed to be named Franklin.... Until Mary stubbed her toe.
- What is Marie Curie's favorite food? Fission chips.
- Why did the crossdresser love Christmas? He could eat drink and be Mary
- Why did Mary become rich after giving birth to Jesus? She made a prophet!
- There's a new movie out about Marie Curie. It received glowing reviews.
- Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked? Because Jesus WEPt.
- Marie Curie is my favorite scientist of all time. She was absolutely radiant.
- Where did Mary go when the bombs went off? Everywhere.
- What does Spiderman like to get high on? mary jane
- How did Mary know that Jesus weighed 7 lbs 6 oz? Because there was a weigh in the manger.
- What did Jesus do when Mary Magdalene tracked dirt through the house? Jesus swept.
- Marie-Antoinette heard of the starving karma farmers of reddit Let them have cake day
Giggle-Inducing Mari Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about mari you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mari pranks.
Mario and Luigi walk into a DVD shop.
Mario holds up a movie.
Is-a that the exorcist? Luigi asked.
This is It, Luigi. Mario replied.
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...
...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?
Because they lacked porpoises.
Marital problems
"You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"
Always seems like a strange way for my wife to start a conversation with me.
why didn't Maria go to prom?
she had no Juan to go with
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A m**... plantation was set on fire
witnesses claim a dragon is responsible.
I didn't like this marimba player very much...
...He just had bad vibes.
Mario and Luigi got a package in the mail...
Luigi opened it, and exclaimed 'it's a Wii, Mario!'
How can you tell if someone has been in the Marine Corps?
Don't worry. They'll tell you.
Mario is a recovering alcoholic...
haunted by the thought of Boos.
Why did Mario always bring Toad to parties?
Toad was a fungi.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... should've been legalized at the same time as same s**...-marriage
because it says in the bible, a man who lies with another man shall be s**...
What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?
"It's a Moray."
A Marine received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home...
It read as follows:
---
*Michael*,
*I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is too great and too long. I must confess that I have cheated on you twice, and this situation is not fair for either of us. I'm really sorry.*
*Love, Elizabeth*
*P.S. Please return the picture you have of me*
---
The Marine, his feelings hurt, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they had of mothers, sisters, girlfriends, cousins, ex-girlfriends, or aunts they had. After a while he had obtained a sizeable collection, and so he stuffed them all 62 of them into an envelope, including the picture of Elizabeth, along with this letter:
---
*Elizabeth,*
*I can't quite remember what you look like. Please take your picture from the pile and return the rest.*
*Take care, Michael*
What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle?
He gets Toad
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"A Marine and his commanding officer.....!!!"
A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!" The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like."
What do Marie Curies Notebooks and a defected KGB agent have in common?
They both won't be investigated very closely.
If Marilyn Monroe were alive right now, what would she be doing?
Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Why did Marie Antoinette travel the world?
Where else would she beheaded?
Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children.
Soon after the last child is born her husband dies.
A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has
another 22 children with her second husband.
After the last child is born her second husband also dies.
Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time.
Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies.
At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in
her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says,
"At least, they're finally together."
A man standing next to the priest asks,
"Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband,
or Maria and her second husband?"
The priest says, "I mean her legs."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Marine Biologists
A team of marine biologists accidentally catch a porpoise in one of their nets. They about to let it go, when they notice it has feet! They study it and perform tests, and are now ready to release it. One of the biologists asks, "Why don't we cut its feet off?" To which the other replies, "That would defeat the porpoise!"
If I were Mario I'd hang out with Toad all the time
He seems like a real fun guy.
Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for 2 years
There's a sign at every court with her mugshot that says "do not serve this woman".
So Mario is talking to Luigi.
"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"
What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry?
They've both been known to blow a little dope.
How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over?
He used a Luigi Board.
Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers' legs.
Turns out he's lack toes intolerant.
Mario & Luigi
Mario :- Ey Luigi , whats this funny ol' image called.
Luigi:- It a Meme , Mario
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How is m**... stock sold on the stock market?
Buy high sell higher.
Why did Mario lose a life?
He stubbed his MiyamoToe.
...I'll see my way out.
Mariah Carey'a New Year's performance.
That's it...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't see why Mariah Carey is getting so much a**....
Every year at Times Square someone drops the ball.
What do me and Mariah Carey have in common?
Neither of us know the words to any of her songs
What is Marie Curie's favorite movie?
It's A Wonderful Half-Life
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is the m**... industry so successful right now?
Cause it's full of high achievers.
Where did Mario meet the Princess?
Nintinder
Why Marie Curie won two Nobel Prizes?
Because she was very rad.
Why can't Mario get a tinder date?
His profile picture was him killing a turtle.
Mario sits Princess Peach down to have a serious talk.
peach, we've been together a long time, I've saved you countless times, but I just can't go on any longer.
But I want you to know, it's not you, itsa me, Mario.
Marine Le Pen, recount the vote!
I do not trust Arabic numbers, use Roman numerals.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is m**... i**... in Saudi Arabia?
In Saudi Arabia, only g**... get s**....
When Mario collects coins with his cap in Super Mario Odissey,...
you for sure know he is very _cappytalistic._
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... businesses in Washington and Colorado are now allowed to use banks..
So long as they open joint accounts.
A marine gets a sponsorship deal
For Crayola
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If m**... starts getting sold in a grocery store...
Would it be in the pharmacy or the baking aisle?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know that m**... can impair your short-term memory?
And, did you know that m**... can impair your short-term memory?
What did Mario say to Peach when they broke up?
It's not you, it's a me a Mario!
How does Mario speak to the dead?
With a Luigi board
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a Marine in Afghanistan
A marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there, he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. She also wanted the pictures of herself back.
So, the marine did what any other man would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 24 pictures of women (with clothes and some without) to his ex-girlfriend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
Two marines are flying into an unfamiliar airport
The put the flaps up and descend lower, lower, lower and finally touch down. The brakes of the plane screeches and howl unlike anything you've ever heard. The plane comes to a stop just inches from the terminal. The pilot exlaims "that's the shortest d**... runway I've ever seen". The co-pilot looks to the left, then looks to the right and says "Yea, but it sure is wide"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know if Mario is tired?
He pasta-f**...-out!
Maris Piper takes her two daughters out for a walk...
Maria had 3 children, snowflake, sand, and brick.
One day snowflake goes to her mom and asks her: Mom, why am I called snowflake? Then the mother replies: Because when you were born, a snowflake fell on your head. The next day goes Sand and asks: Mom, why am I called Sand? And the mother replies: Because when you were born, a small grain of sand fell on your head. The next day goes brick and asks: gyefagcxheufrhd
A marine walks into a bar and tries to order a Bin Laden
What's that? , the bartender asked
The marine replied, two shots and a splash of water .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do marine creatures commit s**...?
They krill themselves.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Instead of m**... dispensaries why don't they just call it..
Grass stations
What did Mario say when his friend Gus was about to be shot in front of him?
Asparagus
What's the name of Mario and Lugi's mother?
mia.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two m**... dispensaries created a merger deal, becoming one.
To be blunt, the stakes were high, but they were hopeful as it was a joint venture.
I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements
So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
My Marine Biologist friend was so excited about her job.
She said she's found her life porpoise.
Why did Mario get fired from being a plumber?
He never put his caulk away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone should really put m**... butter on popcorn and sell it...
they could call it Mari Poppins.
Mario died
Mario died today, Luigi just informed us that he pasta way.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New m**... research reveals that it cures...
Symptoms of motivation by up to 95%.
Maritime Imperial Unit Puns
You can't even fathom how many there are
What did Marie Antoinette say on my Reddit anniversary?
Let them eat cake day!
Marine biologists have discovered a group of killer whales that regularly meets and plays music together.
They call it an orca-stra.
Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world."
Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Our m**... dispensary has a recorded message...
If you want to buy m**... press the hash key now .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Maria the Catholic
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children.
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children.
A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's f**..., the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together.
" Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the Marines they teach you to run towards the people shooting at you.
In the Army they taught us to shoot back.
Mario, Luigi, Peach met up for the first time in 5 years
It was a Wii Union!
Im a Marine Biologist
My Field of study is the naval infantry
What does Mario and Luigi smoke?
Wiid.
What do Mariah Carey and Bob Marley have in common?
They can both sing really high
Marie Antoinette was surprised when she found out how she was being executed
Her Face dropped
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What'd one m**... plant say to the other m**... plant?
Let's be best buds.
Mario goes to court
The judge says: you must pay the court $12,000.
Mario, surpised, asks: Why?
The judge replies: It's a fine.
Mario, heartbroken, sadly says: No itsa not.
Marisa Tomei is an anagram of
It's a-me, Mario
I didn't know Mariah Carey liked trees so much.
But apparently all she wants for Christmas is yew.
