marcus Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious marcus puns

Mr. Marcus was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense.

"You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."


Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor, a very smart man and ahead of his time.

A strict disciplinarian he hated when his soldiers drank on the job but had no way of policing it. Until he realised that the offending soldiers would urinate much more than the sober ones. So he started to measure the output of the soldiers. Do you know what he used to measure it?

Roman Urinals


My mom asked: "John, do you think I've been a bad mother to you?"

My name is Marcus..


Burt and Marcus

Burt's worked on the railroad for several years as a laborer but all the constant layoffs have got him looking into moving up in the business and he applies for a job working on the actual train. He gets called in for an interview and it's going ok when they get to the final question. The interviewer says "Burt, you are on Train A and it's traveling west at 75 mph but on the same track is Train B traveling east at 85 mph. There is no way for Train A to stop or slow down. What would you do?" Burt hems and haws for a few minutes and then tells the interviewer "Well, I reckon I'd call my brother Marcus."

"Call your brother? Why"

"Well, Marcus ain't never seen no big train wreck before."


(I hope this doesn't break sub rules) What do Marcus Smart and Valve have in common?

Neither of them can make a three.


I'm surprised at the lack of Marcus Williams Jokes...

but knowing that 99% of the jokes on here is a miss, I'm not really that shocked.


It would help targets if all professional assassination's were handled by marcus smart.

All he hits is bricks.


What are the most funny Marcus jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Marcus? Well, here are the best Marcus dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Marcus pick up lines to share with friends.


Joko Jokes