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Marcus Jokes

9 marcus jokes and hilarious marcus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about marcus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Fun-Filled Marcus Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What is a good marcus joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Where does Satan shop for luxury items?

d**... Marcus.
I am so terribly sorry.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A wonderful birthday poem

**MARCUS:** Happy birthday, Bob. I have a poem for you.
**BOB:** Cool! Let me hear it!
**MARCUS:** Don't worry about the past — you can't change it.
Don't worry about the future — you can't predict it.
And don't worry about the present — I didn't get you one.

A Dr. Of marine biology was inspired to create a new beverage.

Dr. Marcus Opor, renowned marine biologist and ocean sustainability expert, experimented with a brewed beverage with skipjack tuna as its primary ingredient. He spent years alternating its composition, striving for a balance of savory and rich ocean flavors. At last, he perfected his "tea", and was ready to bring it to market.
Dr. Opor made a single sample of his piscine tea and brought it to Costco to perform a taste test. Sadly, nobody was interested in his tuna beverage and it was thrown out.
It was a wasted Opor tuna tea.

Mr. Marcus was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense.

"You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."

My mom asked: "John, do you think I've been a bad mother to you?"

My name is Marcus..

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor, a very smart man and ahead of his time.

A strict disciplinarian he hated when his soldiers drank on the job but had no way of policing it. Until he realised that the offending soldiers would urinate much more than the sober ones. So he started to measure the output of the soldiers. Do you know what he used to measure it?
Roman Urinals

Who was the most skeptical emperor of all time?

Marcus O RLY?'s.

(I hope this doesn't break sub rules) What do Marcus Smart and Valve have in common?

Neither of them can make a three.

It would help targets if all professional assassination's were handled by marcus smart.

All he hits is bricks.

Marcus joke, It would help targets if all professional assassination's were handled by marcus smart.

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Marcus joke, It would help targets if all professional assassination's were handled by marcus smart.

Marcus joke, It would help targets if all professional assassination's were handled by marcus smart.