Following is our collection of March jokes which are very funny. There are some march sept jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these march feb puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
German soldiers like to march in the shade.
One remarked, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday..."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
March Fourth!
Because German soldiers prefer to march in the shade.
No, but April may.
So the Germans can march in the shade
Because he marches to the Imperial March and not the Metric March
A lady and her baby walks onto a bus. The bus driver exclaims "wow that's one ugly baby!" The mother storms down the aisle and takes a seat next to a man. The man tells her "the bus driver should not have said that to you! You march right up to him and speak your mind while I hold your monkey!"
No. But April May
They had to go to work.
On March 9th, 2009, I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible accident. One day my nurse turned the radio over to a song by Justin Bieber, so I got up and turned the radio off.
You can explore march jan reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean march march madness dad jokes. There are also march puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
"That's a 3pack of condoms son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."
"What about the 6pack dad?"
"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."
"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"
"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."
March Fourth
March 4th
Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love!
Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters*
.
.
.
I owe my life to justin.
On march 9th, 2012 I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car crash.
One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, So I got up and turned the radio off.
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
A: Because it's two-tired.
Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.
Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?
A: In the Ark Hives!
Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May.
Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?
A: Homiecide
"Fish tanks are stupid!"
"Why?"
"Fish don't even have any militaries!"
They only had 2 trucks.
Because they have just finished a 31 day March.
The Imperial March.
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
The American says, "I am able to March into DC, march into the oval office, and say. Mr Reagan, I don't like how you're running this country." The Russian scoffs and says, "I can do the same, I can march into Moscow, go to the Kremlin, go to the general secretary's office and say. Mr Gorbachev, I don't like how Reagan is running his country."
The mother grew furious and said, "you march right back there and demand they give you a speaking part."
Although it's strange that I only count 600,000.
Must be some Donald Trumpeters.
In sports, it is the winners that march down the street (parade).
No, but April May :')
Sorry, IDK if this was posted before.
And yes, I know it's bad.
It claimed the life of Chuck Norris.
"Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter died this morning in his house in Oklahoma at the age of 76. He is feeling much better now and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance."
Just waiting on my wife to pack me a sandwich.
Can be observed every day at 8am. Also known as going to work.
Thank god I know how to make sandwiches
I was born in November
It was actually supposed to be held on March 8 but they took too long to get ready.
I replied, "But it's March Madness! All the basketball games are important!"
She said, "Record it and watch it later."
You should have seen her face when I turned up at the hospital with the camcorder and the tripod…
He had just come through a 31-day March.
She: "I cheated on you"
He: "Me too"
She: "April, 1"
He: "March, 20"
YODA: March April may, June.
A Russian and an American are talking about their countries. The American said, " we have the most freedom in the world, I can march into the White House bang on the president's desk and say sir I do not like how this country is being run." The Russian replied," I can do that too, I can march into the Kremlin, go up to our leaders desk and say sir I do not like how the US government is being run."
No one showed up.
That's because there are no rights.
since they march around in their ghost costumes all year long.
It started March 14, 1592.
It hasn't stopped.
Edit - fixed the date
An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come.
"Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"
Revitalized, we picked up the pace.
"And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point any minute now."
So the Germans could march in the shade.
We'll March on.
The Soviet army is pushing closer to Berlin with each day. As they march closer, they start to find the concentration camps. In one of these camps, a Polish man with a limited knowledge of the Russian language is talking to Russian military officers about the camps, with assistance from a translator. As he explains, he reaches a word he doesn't know, and turns to the translator.
"How do you say civilians?"
"Acceptable casualties."
However, because they had to get ready, it has since been postponed to 8 March.
One started to march towards the other, while the other got scared.
One was cowrageous.
The other was a coward.
I told my wife "Beware the Ides of March! I'm in the mood to do some stabbing from behind, if you know what I mean. "
She said, "I just might die of surprise if you make it to 23 stabs!"
So yeah, only my ego got murdered today.
She was down to her final 4!!!
So get on out there and seize the day!
Told them I won't be able to work
They said "Is it because its Sunday? You said you would on weekends." I said no that's not why.
They said "Is it because its Easter ? You said you would work holidays"
I said That's not it either. I won't be able to work because I am so tired and exhausted.
"Oh - Is this a joke because its Aprils fools day?"
I said "Its no joke - I just finished a 31 day march!"
So the Germans can march in the shade.
Germans like to march in the shade.
March of Dimes
They are calling it April of the Penguins!
Looks like someone found the back door.
Came back with an ironed shirt and a sandwich
"Where were you on the night of September to March?"
Eat two, Brute.
How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!
It's only March 28th here, but in England it feels like it's the end of May.
GF - I'm sorry babe but i've cheated on you.
BF - I'm sorry aswell, I have also cheated on you.
GF - April fools day!
BF - Mine was on 24th March
I can't breathe.
a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates. The Angel said "to enter the heaven, you need to answer 3 questions". The person agreed.
A : name 2 days of a week, that starts with letter T.
P : Today and tomorrow
A: ok, I can accept that. How many seconds are there in a year?
P: 12 seconds
A: (shocked) how come?
P: Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd ...
A: you can go in
For example, a march to battle was sung around middle D. Gregorian chants were sung from low D to middle G.
It seems that most, if not all, pirate shanties were sung on the high C's.
Since he filed for and was awarded the patent back in March of 2019
Been marching for half an hour now, and she still hasn't told me.
In March I found a monkey paw and used it to wish to work from home every day. I'm sorry everybody.
I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I've grown significantly since.
January — ABCD...
February — EFG...
March — HIJK...
April to December — ELEMENOP.
Boy: When is your birthday?
Girl: March 1st.
Boy (Marches around the room): When is your birthday?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the march alliance jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working march october piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.