The Best 19 Manure Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Manure jokes. There are some manure seeds jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these manure wheelbarrow puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Manure Jokes and Puns

Berry good

Two guys were arguing over the best way to grow strawberries. One asserted that Miracle-Gro was the best method, the other insisted that cow manure would yield the largest and sweetest berries. They finally decided to ask Mrs. Thompson, who was known far and wide for her succulent, large strawberries. So one farmer says Mrs. Thompson, do you put cow manure on your strawberries. She replied, No, I either eat them plain or add sugar and cream.

Two flies are sitting on a steaming pile of horse manure.

One of the flies grunts and breaks wind. The other fly says, "Geez! Do you mind? I"m trying to eat over here!"

What's worse than stepping on a pile of horse manure?

Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

Manure joke, What's worse than stepping on a pile of horse manure?

A father puts a gold watch in one son's stocking and a pile of manure in the other son's...

The first son brings the watch to his father and with a worried face says, "dad I'm not sure what to do with this watch, it's fragile, and small, and I don't really wear watches. I don't like it."

The father wasn't surprised by his son's reaction because he typically has a poor perspective on things.

Minutes later, the second son, who had a stocking full of manure, comes running to his father with excitement and says, "Dad! I think Santa brought me a pony! Now I just have to go find it!"

It's all about perspective.

Three Irish men won a small sac of horse manure.

They each had a third.


John Deere's manure spreader...

...is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.

They say cow manure come from males.

But that's bullshit.

Manure joke, They say cow manure come from males.

I once saw a huge boat transporting manure and wondered how much it's cargo weighed...

...turns out it was a shipload.

Bob ,did you know.............??

**JIM**: Bob ,did you know people eat manure in some parts of the world?

**BOB**: Thats pure bullshit!!!

**JIM**: Exactly.

Apparently, there exist a group of people who smear cow manure on their faces as an act of worship.

Personally, I think it's bullshit.

A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar with a handful of fresh dog manure and says to the bartender, "Look what I almost stepped in."

(from Garrison Keillor)

You can explore manure dung reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean manure unclog dad jokes. There are also manure puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do the FCC and manure have in common?

Gardeners say manure is great for tomatoes...

But I think it ruins the sandwich

What do you call a Chinese company which sells manure on the open market?

Dung Xioping.

What do you call the accounting program for a manure seller?

SpreadShite.

My local garden centre is doing buy one, get one free on manure.

Now that's an offer not to be sniffed at.

Manure joke, My local garden centre is doing buy one, get one free on manure.

TIL that the word bullshit got its meaning because people who got caught lying in court were punished by having to eat cow manure, or horse manure, hence horseshit.

Not really.

Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn...

Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn when it catches on fire. The only way down is to jump into the manure pile.

The first idiot says, I'll jump first and tell you how deep it is. He jumps, and a few seconds later the second idiot hears, it's only ankle deep!

The second idiot jumps and says, What on earth? I'm up to my neck!

And the first idiot says, Well you jumped feet first.

Little Timmy goes to a farm with his school

The farmer there was talking about how manure helps the plants by nourishing the soil. Timmy immediately asks the teacher to call his mother. When the teacher asked why, He said
"I heard mom saying she got a lot of shit on her hands right now".


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the manure landfill jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working manure compost piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes