Manufacturing Jokes
66 manufacturing jokes and hilarious manufacturing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about manufacturing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of manufacturing jokes. From shop floor to office, we've got something for everyone.
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Funniest Manufacturing Short Jokes
Short manufacturing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The manufacturing humour may include short manufactured jokes also.
- I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think
- What’s the difference between Barbie and Oppenheimer? Barbie product first manufactured in Japan and released in America. Oppenheimer product first manufactured in America and release in Japan.
- My best friend tried to hide his drug dealing through a fake tobacco company and glass manufacturer. It was all just smoke and mirrors.
- 70% of dishes are under-seasoned, according to a recent survey by the seasoning manufacturers' association. Obviously, this is biased. Take it with a grain of salt.
- Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because people are getting taller Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.
- I've started a glass coffin manufacturing business. My friend asked me if I thought it would be successful. I replied "remains to be seen".
- Spaces between ladder rings have gradually been increasing over the years. Manufacturers claim its due to climb it change.
- I got a new tag on my car On the front of my car, there's a license plate that says "Dodge."
That's not the manufacturer, it's a suggestion. - Why did it take up until last year for volkswagen to finally manufacture electric cars in the United States? Because it took them awhile to get the bugs worked out
- It's my job to fully test the functionality of newly-manufactured toilets and urinals. I go where no man has ever gone before.
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Manufacturing One Liners
Which manufacturing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with manufacturing? I can suggest the ones about production and industrial.
- Where are average things manufactured? At the satisfactory.
- What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant? A satisfactory
- Whats the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops? It's counterproductive
- The problem with manufacturing Edam cheese Is that it's made backwards
- Where are those little 8oz Coke cans manufactured? *Minisoda*
- Where are average stuff manufactured? The satisfactory
- Where do average items get manufactured? At the satisfactory...
- Why are test tube manufacturers always single? People just seem to find them vial!
- I manufactured clown shoes… It was no small feat.
- Do you know how they manufacture minuscule drill bits? A little bit at a time.
- What did the fabric manufacturer name his two daughters? Poly and Esther
- I told my dad that I wanted to be a perfume manufacturer. He replied "That makes scents."
- I'm doing market research for a telescope manufacturer, I run the focus group.
- What do you call a fast food company that also manufactures airliners? McDonald's Douglas
- Where do they manufacture noses? At the olfactory
Manufacturing Companies Jokes
Here is a list of funny manufacturing companies jokes and even better manufacturing companies puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I rode an elevator today manufactured by a company named Schindler I was on Schindler's Lift.
- What do you call a new mitten manufacturing company formed by a U.S. senator? Bernie's Handers.
- We should stop... Guy : We should testing our products on animal.
Boss : but why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Guy : but we manufacture washing machine. - Making 6 figures a year sounds like a dream come true... Unless you work for an action figure manufacturing company. Then it sounds like a quick way to the unemployment line.
- Sarah Jessica Parker was asked if she supported the company that manufactures the Epi-pen. She replied: "Nay"
- Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company? He took a day off
- According to the Bible, what company was the first car manufacturer? Honda. Because Jesus and his apostles were in one accord.
- Did you hear about the jeans manufacturing company that changed their product to pants made from one piece of fabric? They made a seamless transition.
- What did the Solid Surface countertop say to the Stone countertop? Hey! Don't take me for granite!
I work at a countertop manufacturing company. Thought of this on break earlier. 😃 - will chinese company ever decide to manufacture their product in the United States?Give reason...?
Manufacturing Jobs Jokes
Here is a list of funny manufacturing jobs jokes and even better manufacturing jobs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man who worked two jobs, archery manufacturing and mailman, was well known for his prowess in bed. He could make them quiver when he delivered.
- Despite Trump's recent push to bring manufacturing jobs to the U,S., where are most of his Signature Series ties made? Tieland
- Today I was asked about my job manufacturing nuts and bolts I told them it was quite riveting
- Cigarette Paper manufacturers are bad at their job because They cut corners.
Manufacturing Engineering Jokes
Here is a list of funny manufacturing engineering jokes and even better manufacturing engineering puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know that America auto manufacturers name their cars on the assembly line? Yours should say Check Engine under the speedometer.
Manufacturing Plant Jokes
Here is a list of funny manufacturing plant jokes and even better manufacturing plant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I love the smell of abandoned commercial manufacturing plants. I find it to be a pleasant old factory experience.
- I work at a Greek manufacturing plant so you could say I'm in Oparations.
Comical Manufacturing Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about manufacturing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mining jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make manufacturing pranks.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other
r**...
A letter to Keyboard Manufacturers
Dear Keyboard Manufacturers,
I'm writing to request a redesign so that 'g' and 't' wouldn't be right next to each other.
r**...,
I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.
USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.
This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.
After months of testing, costing $2.65 billion in congressional spending and firing of 25+ people, the special prosecutor appointed by Trump presented the following findings.
* The stamps have no manufacturing defects.
* There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
* People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.
Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines)
Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied Ya, well I sew women's underpants. He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check.
Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied Diesel fitter. He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check.
After Sven and Ole collected their checks, they compared them outside. Ole's check was twice as much, which made Sven furious. He stormed back inside and asked to talk with a manager. He demanded to know why his check was half of what Ole's was. The manager told him, Well, you were a tailor, your friend Ole has a specialty in engine repair.
Sven's anger was boiling over. He loudly told them, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I sew the underpants and put them in a pile, Ole holds them up and says Ya, diesel fitter. What has that got to do with engines?
Jewish ad campaign
Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."
My wife bought me a 'Good Luck' bracelet with my initials on it before I went into hospital for some surgery.
I think there must have been a misprint at the manufacturers,
because my initials are 'RND' and this one said 'DNR'.
I was on a trip to Dubai, and in my stay, I met a rich man
Over time, we actually became friends, and he told me about this shoes company he owns.
He said:
Each pair of shoes we manufacture costs us about 2$, and we manage to sell them for 250$
What?! this is insane, why is it so expensive, ? I asked
Well I actually tried to make them cheaper for 25$ each
Then what happend?
People stopped buying them
LG created a new proprietary Bluetooth technology and protestors are now rallying against the the IEEE 802.15.1 Bluetooth standard
Manufacturers have quickly adopted to LG's new protocol, as they are afraid of not supporting the LGBT.
With the massive downturn in international travel, aircraft manufacturer Fokker has started developing planes for the military. Their latest is a small, super stealthy reconnaissance plane that is almost undetectable!
It's called the Sneaky Little Fokker.
My brother and I started a business manufacturing Dracula toys
I have to make every second Count
I've been thinking about manufacturing and selling landmines disguised as prayer mats...
...prophets would go through the roof!
They actually stopped manufacturing glitter in 1972
We just haven't gotten it out of everything yet.
I have trouble keeping their jobs these days...
First I was working at a potato farm, but then I was sacked.
Next it was the tuna factory, but then I was canned.
Next I tried being a lumberjack, but then I got axed.
Next I found an opening at the crematorium, but then I was fired.
Next I s**... up at the gun manufacturers, so I was quickly discharged.
Next I was printing thesauruses, but then my job was made redundant.
Now I'm growing magenta bananas, but I think I might get a pink slip.
The former governor of Alaska is contributing to the manufacturing of new unmanned aircraft for the Afghanistan War.
These quadricopters are going to be named "Strikekirts", which reads the same forwards and backwards.
Why?
It's because they are Palindrones.
Nintendo was going to convert a car factory to manufacture their new console.
But the factory owner didn't want to make the switch.
What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?
Give it two test-tickles.