Manufacturing Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts

Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think

What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant?

A satisfactory

Whats the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops?

It's counterproductive

I've started a glass coffin manufacturing business.

My friend asked me if I thought it would be successful. I replied "remains to be seen".

How did the angel get on top of the christmas tree?

So one year, Santa was having a bad time of it. The reindeer were threatening a strike, the elves had to recall 30% of their toys due to manufacturing defects, all in all, just a frustrating time.

So Santa stood up and made a very LOUD announcement.

"I am going to my study. I'm taking my boots off, having a cup of hot cider, and am going to read a good book. I want. to. finish. my. book."

About 5 minutes later, he hears a knock on the the door to his study. In a fury, he slams down his book, stomps over to the door, flings it open, and says "And just what do YOU want?"

An angel is standing there with a pine tree. "Where would you like me to put the christmas tree?"

My brother and I started a business manufacturing Dracula toys

I have to make every second Count

I've been thinking about manufacturing and selling landmines disguised as prayer mats...

...prophets would go through the roof!

The former governor of Alaska is contributing to the manufacturing of new unmanned aircraft for the Afghanistan War.

These quadricopters are going to be named "Strikekirts", which reads the same forwards and backwards.

Why?

It's because they are Palindrones.

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

I recently had to sell my calculator manufacturing business.

The numbers just weren't adding up.

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S manufacturing non-competitive...

Donald Trump, 2012.

If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car...

Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!

I've been fired from work for putting in too many hours

Clock manufacturing isn't as easy as you think


^(yes I thought of this after reading the shifts-keyboard joke)

Making 6 figures a year sounds like a dream come true...

Unless you work for an action figure manufacturing company. Then it sounds like a quick way to the unemployment line.

Did you hear the one about the perfume store?

I heard their manufacturing was in an ol' factory.

Invest Now!

Quick! Invest now! Theres a company in England that is now manufacturing landmines that look like prayre mats! The main factorty is in the middle east, where prophets are going through the roof!

I love the smell of abandoned commercial manufacturing plants.

I find it to be a pleasant old factory experience.

I think my son might be starting a minor Tennis manufacturing business in his room.

He's making a racket up there.

Need a joke about a refrigerator for work

I work in a refrigerator manufacturing plant and am giving a presentation next week. I would like to start out the presentation with a joke to lighten the mood. Anyone have any short, clean jokes about refrigerators?

What do you call a pleasing manufacturing warehouse?

A satis-factory.

ISIS released a new video today

In it they claimed responsibility for manufacturing the Samsung Galaxy Note 7

A man who worked two jobs, archery manufacturing and mailman, was well known for his prowess in bed.

He could make them quiver when he delivered.

Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company?

He took a day off

Despite Trump's recent push to bring manufacturing jobs to the U,S., where are most of his Signature Series ties made?

Tieland

China has one of the largest manufacturing and exporting economies in the world. What product of theirs is most commonly exported?

Newborn girls.

Manufacturing Landmines

I started manufacturing Landmines in my basement thinking that it'd be cheaper than buying them, but it still cost me an arm and a leg

Starcraft / WII parallels

I thought this joke up after our history exam; I thought I'd share it:

The three Starcraft factions have parallels to the three major combatants in WII.
The Protoss are like Germany, since both had advanced technology for the time (Tiger tanks, Void Rays) but were somewhat outnumbered.
The Terrans are like the USA, since they have good manufacturing flexibility, and were able to field large numbers of mechanical units as well as marines.
And the Russians are like the Zerg, because, well, they're rushin'.

The stock market has rebounded solidly since the news of Trump's win

...led by the surging coathanger manufacturing sector.

So I want to start a business of manufacturing ATM machines...

.... I hope it pays off

Did you hear about the jeans manufacturing company that changed their product to pants made from one piece of fabric?

They made a seamless transition.

What are the funniest manufacturing jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Manufacturing? Well, here are the best Manufacturing puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Manufacturing pick up lines to share with friends.

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