Manufacturing Jobs Jokes
10 manufacturing jobs jokes and hilarious manufacturing jobs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about manufacturing jobs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Manufacturing Jobs Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good manufacturing jobs joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines)
Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied Ya, well I sew women's underpants. He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check.
Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied Diesel fitter. He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check.
After Sven and Ole collected their checks, they compared them outside. Ole's check was twice as much, which made Sven furious. He stormed back inside and asked to talk with a manager. He demanded to know why his check was half of what Ole's was. The manager told him, Well, you were a tailor, your friend Ole has a specialty in engine repair.
Sven's anger was boiling over. He loudly told them, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I sew the underpants and put them in a pile, Ole holds them up and says Ya, diesel fitter. What has that got to do with engines?
It's my job to fully test the functionality of newly-manufactured toilets and urinals.
I go where no man has ever gone before.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have trouble keeping their jobs these days...
First I was working at a potato farm, but then I was sacked.
Next it was the tuna factory, but then I was canned.
Next I tried being a lumberjack, but then I got axed.
Next I found an opening at the crematorium, but then I was fired.
Next I s**... up at the gun manufacturers, so I was quickly discharged.
Next I was printing thesauruses, but then my job was made redundant.
Now I'm growing magenta bananas, but I think I might get a pink slip.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I bought one of those new robot s**... dolls
but it was unwilling to have s**... with me. So I called the manufacturer and they said they'd have her fixed before I came back from my job.
After a long day, I came home to find the engineer having s**... with my robot. I asked what was happening and the robot said The engineer knew how to turn me on .
If someone else has already posted this, please give them credit.
A man who worked two jobs, archery manufacturing and mailman, was well known for his prowess in bed.
He could make them quiver when he delivered.
Despite Trump's recent push to bring manufacturing jobs to the U,S., where are most of his Signature Series ties made?
Tieland
Today I was asked about my job manufacturing nuts and bolts
I told them it was quite riveting
Cigarette Paper manufacturers are bad at their job because
They cut corners.
manager told me this one at dinner last weekend
Working in the field of engineering, things can get pretty dull...so here it goes.
There once was a man, lets call him John, who applied for a position at Tyco to manufacture Tickle-me Elmos. He figured he would make the cut as he knew the hiring manager. John landed the job and was told he'd be needed right away.
John reports to duty the next day and is immediately greeted by a man storming out of the building who obviously just got fired. On his way out he tells the John "Watch out, sales are down...you might be next."
Once John reports to his manager(friend), he inquires about sales being down to which the manager responds, "Yes indeed, sales are down because quality has depreciated." John asks why and the manager says, "People aren't testing the Elmo dolls seriously, you need two test tickles not just one"
An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels.
He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it.
He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin.
Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load.
On every occasion, there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip.
On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath.
Nothing.
He could never find anything amiss.
After a few months of this, the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned.
A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On an impulse, the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, I've left the company, I'm not interested in taking it any further and I won't stop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?"
And the bloke said "Tarpaulins."
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