manuel Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious manuel puns

Jesus take the wheel

Carlos take the stereo, Manuel get the seats and I'll be the Juan on watch.

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Panty Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter

Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."

The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.

When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"

"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"

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What do you call a healthy Hispanic man?

Manuel

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What car transmission do Mexicans use?

Manuel.

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For all the soccer fans:

Manuel Neuer walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Across the bar he sees Iker Casillas and thinks to himself, "Look at stupid Casillas, I hate that motherfucker. Everyone thinks hes better than me and I'm sick of it... I'll show him who the bigger man is".

So Neuer calls the bartender over and says, "Bartender, I wanna order a beer for that Spanish guy across the bar. But before you give it to him, bring it here so I can spit it in".

The bartender says, "Okay I guess. But man, thats cruel".

Neuer looks at him and says, "That's not Krul... its Iker Casillas".

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What do you call a Hispanic guy's quest to get gender reassignment surgery?

Manuel Trans Mission

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What's the difference between England and America?

In England, you drive manual. In America, Manuel drives you.

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What do you call a Spanish guy who just left hospital

Manuel

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What do you call a Mexican dude who helps you assemble stuff?

Manuel

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What do you call a group of Mexicans doing work?

Manuel labour.

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Im going to start a handyman business that employs illegals for odd jobs...

I'm going to call it Manuel Labor.

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What do you call a Spanish man who has just got out of hospital?

Manuel...

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What do criminal courts in Spain call community service?

Manuel labor

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So I'm going to start a business offering landscaping, painting, moving and other handy man services

called Manuel labor

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What do you call a Spanish guy who's just got out of hospital?

Manuel

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LMAO

AMLO (Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador) is now President of Mexico

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How do you know if a car is Spanish?

The gearbox is "Manuel".

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A mexican fixed my deck today...

I guess you can call it Manuel labor.

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What do you call a Mexican leaving the hospital?

Manuel.

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Why should I marry Manuel Neuer?

Because he's a *keeper*

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My friend, Manuel, is a magician...

His favorite trick is to announce "I'm going to disappear on the count of three." He then counts "Uno, dos..." then vanishes without a tres.

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What do you call a know-it-all Mexican?

A Solution Manuel

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If I want to check instructions and it's in Spanish, ..

.. am I checking a Manuel?

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Manuel Avila vs Rolly Lunas live.. stream.. watch.. Avila vs Lunas online.. game.. 1.. free..

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56% of Brazil is Covered In Rainforest

The rest is covered by Manuel Neuer

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How can you tell a car is from Spain?

It has Manuel transmission.

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It's every little boys dream to score in the World Cup

Even Manuel Neuer's

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Why did the Spanish guy never find a job satisfying?

Everything he did felt like Manuel Labour.

Bonus alt: He was always felt like the Manuel Juan.

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What are the most funny Manuel jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Manuel? Well, here are the best Manuel dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Manuel pick up lines to share with friends.

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