Manual Jokes
76 manual jokes and hilarious manual puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about manual that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out this hilarious collection of jokes and puns about manual transmissions, manual handling, and manual labor. Download this booklet and purchase a cache of manual jokes for yourself today!
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Funniest Manual Short Jokes
Short manual jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The manual humour may include short automatic jokes also.
- The people who write instructions for places like IKEA must be in good shape. All that manual labor
- The manual in my car says that I shouldn't turn the stereo volume to the maximum. That's....sound advice.
- Why was everyone in the Soviet Union so good at driving manual? Because they were afraid of Stalin.
- What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire? "Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."
- How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because PETA can't change anything.
-A joke I found inside the game manual for Super Meat Boy for Steam. - - Manuel, is your car automatic? \- It's manual.
\- oh sorry... Manual, is your car automatic? - I tell all my dates I'm an open book. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition.
- I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn't get my gun to fire. I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
- Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
- Not to insult any history purists but... Why did Winston Churchill trade his manual for an automatic?
He hated stall'in.
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Manual One Liners
Which manual one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with manual? I can suggest the ones about machine and motor.
- I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual.
- My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician
- What do you call a dictator who can't drive a manual transmission? Stalin
- I read the instruction manual for my new watch It was about time
- So I got a manual on how to please a man. So far it's really come in handy.
- Which board game instruction manual is the Torah? Jumanji
- What's a Mexican skateboarder's name? Manual.
- Why are automatic vehicles difficult to drive? Because they don't come with a manual
- You know what? I love manual labor. In fact, I could watch it all day.
- A got a job helping write an instruction booklet It's mostly manual labor.
- What kind of car did Jesus drive? a manual.
- What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan? A Ramen Manual.
- How did the mayor of Chicago learn to cook noodles? With the Ramen Manual
- Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission? Because she prefers to drive stick!
- Why wasn't I able to see the instruction manual? Because the instructions were clear.
Manual Car Jokes
Here is a list of funny manual car jokes and even better manual car puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "Having my owner carjacked was bad enough." said one car to the other. "But you know what really grinds my gears?" The idiot didn't know how to drive a manual transmission!
- What is the difference between a manual-transmission car and an italian tank? One has 6 gears and 1 reverse gear, the other has 6 reverse gears and 1 forward gear
- Important note Important note from a car manual:
Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space. - A Mexican man is approached by a car mechanic while dropping off his car and is asked for the owner's manual. The man, in a heavy Mexican accent, replies: "Well I'm the owner, and it's manual!"
- Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car? I thought they only drive automatic
- Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual? Because they want the D.
Manual Transmission Jokes
Here is a list of funny manual transmission jokes and even better manual transmission puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do sarcastic humor and manual transmissions have in common? Millennials understand neither.
- What is the best automotive anti-theft device? A manual transmission
- I don't trust anyone who drives a vehicle with manual transmission. They're shifty.
Manual Labor Jokes
Here is a list of funny manual labor jokes and even better manual labor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Manual Labor Ever heard of Manual Labor?
Yeah, he's the President of Mexico! - what's the most common name for a Mexican ? manual labor ........
Manual Handling Jokes
Here is a list of funny manual handling jokes and even better manual handling puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was doing manual handling training at work today. I've been picking it up really well.
Amusing & Witty Manual Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about manual you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean auto jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make manual pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Manual labour
My mate pointed out the window and said, "Is that your wife mowing the lawn out there?"
"Yeah, she never stops," I replied
"Call me old fashioned if you want, but I hate to see a woman doing manual labour."
"Me too," I replied, as I closed the curtains
Emergency Landing
A pilot was flying at night when his engine quit, so he hurriedly looked up what to do in the flight manual.
"First, establish a stable glide speed. Turn the landing light on. If the terrain appears unsuitable for a forced landing, turn the landing light off."
What's on the 3rd and 4th page of a Ford's manual?
Bus and train schedules
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of friends were named after their professions.
The artist was named Drew because thats what he did. The laborer was called Manual because thats the type of labor he did. The lawyer was called be Bill because f**... People Out of Money' takes to long to say.
I tried looking for a guide to teach me spanish...
but i couldn't find a manual
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... Statistics on a Plane.
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be
seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They
exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about s**... statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,
"This is a very interesting book about s**... statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest
average p**... and Polish men have the biggest average
diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
What's the difference between England and America?
In England, you drive manual. In America, Manuel drives you.
What style manual do nice guys write in?
M'LAdy
The most well known person in the world
Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.
Abracadabra... Manual breathing, blinking, and swallowing... all gone!
I bought a coin press last week,
...but the manual is in another language. I hope it still makes cents
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an automatic car that wants to be a manual?
A car with t**... problems
Do you know what's on pages 5 and 6 of an Opel manual?
Bus and train schedules.
My dad died last year. among the things he left us in his Legacy :
were some jump leads,
a tartan blanket
and the original subaru owners manual.
Irish Dancing Manual
Lost for centuries, volume 2 of the Irish Dancing Manual has finally been rediscovered.
It's titled How to Move The Arms
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Let me put it to you another way...
A man was studying a detailed s**... manual when his wife asked him why. He replied that he was tired of the same old positions.
"But I don't understand," she protested, "I thought we had a very good s**... life."
"Well, we do" replied the husband, "But, let me put it to you another way."
I bought a coin press from the UK
It was cheaper to ship from UK to EU than to buy locally.
But now that I'm looking at the manual, it doesn't make cents.
Sometimes I think books can teach me about transcendental idealism.
Other times I think a manual can't.
A panda walks into a bar...
A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda: Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
A man's printer started printing more and more faintly, so he called a local repair shop.
A friendly young man informed him, Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that, so you might be better off just reading the manual and trying the job yourself.
Pleasantly surprised by this candor, the man said, Thanks, son. Does your boss know that you discourage business?
Actually, it was my boss's idea, said the young employee. He says that if we let people try to fix things themselves first, we end up making even more money!
Two women were fighting for the last available seat on the bus.
No amount of reasoning was helping the bus driver resolve the issue. In desperation he grabbed his training manual and announced:
'The policy is to allow the seat to go to the uglier one.'
Both women stood for the remainder of the trip.
I bought a great power saw two years ago. I can't wait to use it.
The owner's manual said *Warning: Do not use this tool until you read and understand the entire instruction manual!*
But half of it is in Chinese! I'm getting there.
