Manual Jokes
80 manual jokes and hilarious manual puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about manual that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out this hilarious collection of jokes and puns about manual transmissions, manual handling, and manual labor. Download this booklet and purchase a cache of manual jokes for yourself today!
Quick Jump To
- Short Manual Jokes
- Manual One Liners
- Manual Car Jokes
- Manual Transmission Jokes
- Manual Labor Jokes
- Manual Handling Jokes
- More Manual Jokes
Funniest Manual Short Jokes
Short manual jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The manual humour may include short automatic jokes also.
- The people who write instructions for places like IKEA must be in good shape. All that manual labor
- The manual in my car says that I shouldn't turn the stereo volume to the maximum. That's....sound advice.
- Why was everyone in the Soviet Union so good at driving manual? Because they were afraid of Stalin.
- What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire? "Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."
- If someone tried to make me dig my own grave I would say no. They're going to kill me anyway and I'd love to die the way I lived : avoiding manual labor.
- How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because PETA can't change anything.
-A joke I found inside the game manual for Super Meat Boy for Steam. - My son told me, The car manual says that I shouldn't turn the stereo up to full volume. I said, That's.... sound advice.
- - Manuel, is your car automatic? \- It's manual.
\- oh sorry... Manual, is your car automatic? - I tell all my dates I'm an open book. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition.
- I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn't get my gun to fire. I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
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Manual One Liners
Which manual one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with manual? I can suggest the ones about machine and motor.
- I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual.
- I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn't find a manual.
- My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician
- What do you call a dictator who can't drive a manual transmission? Stalin
- I read the instruction manual for my new watch It was about time
- Where did Noah keep his bee keeping manual. In his Ark Hives.
- So I got a manual on how to please a man. So far it's really come in handy.
- Which board game instruction manual is the Torah? Jumanji
- What's a Mexican skateboarder's name? Manual.
- Why did nobody in the Soviet Union drive manual cars? They were afraid of Stalin'
- Why are automatic vehicles difficult to drive? Because they don't come with a manual
- You know what? I love manual labor. In fact, I could watch it all day.
- A got a job helping write an instruction booklet It's mostly manual labor.
- I tried to learn how to drive a stick shift but I couldn't locate the manual.
- What kind of car did Jesus drive? a manual.
Manual Car Jokes
Here is a list of funny manual car jokes and even better manual car puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "Having my owner carjacked was bad enough." said one car to the other. "But you know what really grinds my gears?" The idiot didn't know how to drive a manual transmission!
- Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission? Because she prefers to drive stick!
- What is the difference between a manual-transmission car and an italian tank? One has 6 gears and 1 reverse gear, the other has 6 reverse gears and 1 forward gear
- Important note Important note from a car manual:
Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space. - A Mexican man is approached by a car mechanic while dropping off his car and is asked for the owner's manual. The man, in a heavy Mexican accent, replies: "Well I'm the owner, and it's manual!"
- Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car? I thought they only drive automatic
- Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual? Because they want the D.
- What do you call an automatic car that wants to be a manual? A car with t**... problems
Manual Transmission Jokes
Here is a list of funny manual transmission jokes and even better manual transmission puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission? He was always Stalin in his manual!
- What do sarcastic humor and manual transmissions have in common? Millennials understand neither.
- What is the best automotive anti-theft device? A manual transmission
- I don't trust anyone who drives a vehicle with manual transmission. They're shifty.
Manual Labor Jokes
Here is a list of funny manual labor jokes and even better manual labor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- so dumb... I knew a guy who was so dumb, he thought manual labor was the president of Mexico.
- Manual Labor Ever heard of Manual Labor?
Yeah, he's the President of Mexico! - what's the most common name for a Mexican ? manual labor ........
Manual Handling Jokes
Here is a list of funny manual handling jokes and even better manual handling puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was doing manual handling training at work today. I've been picking it up really well.
Amusing & Witty Manual Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about manual you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tools jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make manual pranks.
A panda walks into a cáfe.
He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and unloads it into the ceiling.
Why? Asks the confused waiter, as the panda starts leaving. He tosses a wildlife manual over his shoulder.
I'm a panda, he says at the door, look it up.
The waiter flips to the page about pandas, and it says, Panda. Large black and white bear-like animal native to China. Eats, Shoots, and leaves
Credits: Eats, Shoots, and Leaves
Manual labour
My mate pointed out the window and said, "Is that your wife mowing the lawn out there?"
"Yeah, she never stops," I replied
"Call me old fashioned if you want, but I hate to see a woman doing manual labour."
"Me too," I replied, as I closed the curtains
Not to insult any history purists but...
Why did Winston Churchill trade his manual for an automatic?
He hated stall'in.
What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan?
A Ramen Manual.
How many Brits does it take to change a lightbulb?
Manual work ? That's what underpaid Eastern immigrants are for pff
A group of friends were named after their professions.
The artist was named Drew because thats what he did. The laborer was called Manual because thats the type of labor he did. The lawyer was called be Bill because f**... People Out of Money' takes to long to say.
Some say he was manually stimulating his girlfriend while she was on her period
Others say he was caught red-handed
A blonde says to another:
Guess what? I solved a puzzle this morning. The other girl says: so what? What's the big deal?
"Well, I solved it in half an hour when the instructions manual clearly stated '3-5 years".
s**... Statistics on a Plane.
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be
seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They
exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about s**... statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,
"This is a very interesting book about s**... statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest
average p**... and Polish men have the biggest average
diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
What's the difference between England and America?
In England, you drive manual. In America, Manuel drives you.
The most well known person in the world
Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.
I bought a coin press last week,
...but the manual is in another language. I hope it still makes cents
My dad died last year. among the things he left us in his Legacy :
were some jump leads,
a tartan blanket
and the original subaru owners manual.
Irish Dancing Manual
Lost for centuries, volume 2 of the Irish Dancing Manual has finally been rediscovered.
It's titled How to Move The Arms
Let me put it to you another way...
A man was studying a detailed s**... manual when his wife asked him why. He replied that he was tired of the same old positions.
"But I don't understand," she protested, "I thought we had a very good s**... life."
"Well, we do" replied the husband, "But, let me put it to you another way."
A panda walks into a bar, orders a burger, downs it in a few bites, pulls out a gun and shoots two bullets into the roof.
On his way to the door the waiter exclaims why the f*c**... did you do that?!
To which the tired looking panda rolls his eyes and tosses a torn up wildlife manual across the counter, i'm a panda, look it up... before casually walking out the exit
After finding the relevant chapter the waiter reads:
Panda: Large black and white bear-like mammal; eats, shoots and leaves.
A panda walks into a bar...
A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda: Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
A man's printer started printing more and more faintly, so he called a local repair shop.
A friendly young man informed him, Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that, so you might be better off just reading the manual and trying the job yourself.
Pleasantly surprised by this candor, the man said, Thanks, son. Does your boss know that you discourage business?
Actually, it was my boss's idea, said the young employee. He says that if we let people try to fix things themselves first, we end up making even more money!
Two women were fighting for the last available seat on the bus.
No amount of reasoning was helping the bus driver resolve the issue. In desperation he grabbed his training manual and announced:
'The policy is to allow the seat to go to the uglier one.'
Both women stood for the remainder of the trip.
I bought a great power saw two years ago. I can't wait to use it.
The owner's manual said *Warning: Do not use this tool until you read and understand the entire instruction manual!*
But half of it is in Chinese! I'm getting there.
