Mantis Jokes

25 mantis jokes and hilarious mantis puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mantis that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny mantis jokes! Whether you're looking for a joke to tell your friends or just want to have a good chuckle, these mantis jokes are sure to do the trick.

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Funniest Mantis Short Jokes

Short mantis jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mantis humour may include short manatee jokes also.

  1. What's the Priest of an insect church? A Praying Mantis.
    Yes I thought of this joke, no im not sorry.
  2. The female Praying Mantis devours the male right after mating. It's easier to collect life insurance than child support.
  3. Attractive. Brainy. Romantic. Faithful. Makes good food. Gives great head. -- Online dating profile of a male praying mantis.
  4. What did the mantis say after cannibalizing her mate? "Oh my God, I'm just like my mother!"
  5. My karate teacher insited I learnt mantis style I learnt panda style instead
    came back with two black eyes
  6. The female praying mantis devours her male within minutes of mating, whereas ... the female human stretches it out over a lifetime!
  7. What Did The Male Mantis Say To The Female Mantis? Male Mantis: Yo, h**..., I want some head.
    Female Mantis: Me too.
    Male Mantis: what
  8. "Aren't you gonna eat me now?" asked the male praying mantis after s**... "Nah, that's just the females."
  9. What does a female praying mantis ask for from a male p**...? Head. She always wants head.
  10. Did you know know that Praying Mantis's eat the male after s**... Goes to show we're not that different

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Mantis One Liners

Which mantis one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mantis? I can suggest the ones about moths and phantom.

  1. What did the praying mantis say after impregnating his wife? Ugh she's going to kill me
  2. What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ? Being given head.
  3. The female praying mantis... knows how to get ahead in life.
  4. My praying mantis babies are acting up still. No father figure.
  5. What is the most religious bug? A praying mantis!
  6. What is a mantis's favourite film? Prey, Love, Eat.
  7. How to catch a praying mantis? Build a little shrine. After all, they are all insects.
  8. What do you call a religious bug A Praying Mantis.
  9. What is a Christians Favorite Insect? The Praying Mantis
  10. He loves ketchup and mustard... ...but Manti Te'o is Anti-mayo.
  11. The Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Manti's girlfriend walk into a bar... Rimshot!
  12. What did Groot say when he saw Gamora, Nebula, and Mantis n**...? "I am Groot"

Mantis joke, What did Groot say when he saw Gamora, Nebula, and Mantis n**...?

Entertaining Mantis Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about mantis you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean caterpillar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mantis pranks.

If the mantises are always praying, what is their religion?

It varies, they're all in sects.

Although the cannibalism of the praying mantis may seem severe, it is thankfully brief. In other species, the female will slowly s**... the life out of her partner over a period of decades.

This process is commonly called marriage.

A cricket is in love with a mantis

but he's terrified, because he keeps hearing that a mantis will eat the male after s**.... Nevertheless, one night the cricket gets really drunk and propositions the mantis. The two have amazing s**... all night long, but in the morning the cricket comes to his senses and starts eyeing the mantis warily.
"What's wrong?" asks the mantis.
"Well, I don't want to make this weird, but are you going to try to eat me?"
"Oh, don't worry, only the females do that."

Mantis joke, My karate teacher insited I learnt mantis style