The Best 32 Manner Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Manner jokes. There are some manner haughty jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these manner bedside manner puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Manner Jokes and Puns
How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?
A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.
How many members of an identifiable group does it take to perform a common task?
A certain number! One to actually perform the task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group.
A new doctor goes to work for a year in Cambodia, where people still get maimed from landmines left over from the Vietnam War era
In his very first day in the hospital, the doctor sees a young girl in the post-operation area. She is crying, and in a panic, she says to him, "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
He looks down at the young girl, and in his best bedside manner, tells her, "That's because the doctors had to amputate your arms."
Fighter jock and the cargo pilot
A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.
The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.
"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceeds to do loop-de-loops, barrel rolls, corkscrews, and all manner of fast paced aerial acrobatics.
"Very impressive," responds the cargo pilot. "But that's nothing, watch this." For a half hour the large craft simply plods along straight as an arrow, not even so much as dipping the wings.
After a while, the cargo pilot comes back on the radio and says "So, what'd you think?"
Jock: "What d'you mean? You didn't do anything. You just flew straight for a while."
Cargo: "Oh no, that wasn't all. I got up, stretched my legs, got some coffee, went to the bathroom..."
Barbie and G.I. Joe.
A little girl sits on Santa's lap. In a jolly manner, Santa asks "What would you like for Christmas?"
The girl replies without hesitation:"I would like a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa sits for a moment, thinking about the request. Caught off guard, he says "But little girl, Barbie comes with Ken."
The girl looks at Santa and with incredible confidence, states: "No Santa, Barbie only fakes it with Ken."
What's the most well mannered dinosaur?
A plesiosaur.
Confession
A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. "Father O'Malley," he says, "my name is Emil Cohen. I'm seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I'm currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better." "My good man," says the priest, "I think you've come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?" And the guy goes: "I'm telling everybody!"
How many people of a certain ethnicity does it take to change a lightbulb?
10, one to change the lightbulb; the other nine to act in a manner stereo-typically associated with said ethnicity.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of tequila.
Bartender lines up 10 shots of tequila and the guy shoots all 10 shots one after another.
Bartender asks guy what the special occasion is, or why is he slamming shots in a celebratory manner.
Guy says it was his first blow job.
Bartender says: "That's great! Let me give you a shot on the house!"
Guy says: "no thanks, if 10 shots of tequila can't get that taste out of my mouth, nothing can."
Three Men are Captured by Female Savages!
They are told their dicks would be removed in a manner appropriate to their jobs.
The first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.
The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.
The third man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny, and he replied, "I work for Dyson!".
Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?
[THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER].
You can explore manner differently reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean manner mannered dad jokes. There are also manner puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How many Edward Snowden's does it take to know what is going on in a Clinton administration?
**The server you are attempting to connect to has been unintentionally disabled, wiped, and burned. But not in a gross negligent manner. **
Is he sleazy? Yes. Is he disgusting? Absolutely. Did he act in a vulgar manner towards women? Certainly.
But he's not running for President, his wife is.
How many members of a given ethnic group does it take to change a lightbulb?
A finite number! One to to change the bulb, the rest to act in a manner stereotypically derogatory to their ethnicity!
Q: How many members of a specified demographic does it take to complete a particular task?
A finite quantity. One to complete the specific task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of persons from said demographic.
Wonder Woman
Batman is talking to the Flash. "Hey, Flash, did you hear about Wonder Woman? She was lying on the roof of her building naked moving her hips in a suggestive manner. Superman was flying by and saw her. He took off his clothes, flew down and landed right on top."
Flash says, "Boy, I bet Wonder Woman was surprised."
Batman answers, "Not nearly as surprised as the invisible man!"
No Bedside Manner
I'd never had surgery, and I was nervous. This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure, the anesthesiologist reassured me. I felt better, until … Heck, he continued, you have a better chance of dying from the anesthesia than the surgery itself.
An old lady told me this
You know how rubber gloves are made? They hire all kinds of people; black guys, white guys,boys, girls, men, women; and have them all dip their hands in liquid hot rubber. You get all manner of gloves from this. Big ones, small ones, medical gloves, elbow length cleaning gloves. The more durable the glove, the longer they have to hold their hand in the molten rubber.
Betcha can't guess how condoms are made?
I started a fried chicken joint. In order to be halal, the chickens must be killed in the traditional Islamic manner:
It's pretty hard getting the little explosive-filled vests on them, though.
A man walks into a bar and then proceeds to order a pint and drink in peace, disturbing no one...
He was very courteous and paid his bill in a timely manner.
An African man asked her..... African Girlfriend.....Under the night.......Near the Shore.....In a Romantic manner.....
Are you there?
How does one walk through a Siberian forest?
Do it in a calm and relaxed manner, but bear in mind
So I thought this was a good place for dad jokes...
Even though I said them in a joking manner no one found them funny
DOCTOR(using best bedside manner): "Mrs. Nice Guy?"
"I'm so sorry, but I have some terrible news..."
A fat woman was standing on the weighing scale while holding her stomach in.
Um, I don't think that's going to help said the husband.
To which the wife replies in a confused manner,
Sure it does. How else I could see the numbers?
There is nothing more permanent than a temperate solution , because putting something together in a logical manner is too much work. It's easier to just cobble something together and call it a day.
Legislation, roadwork, your soul-crushing loneliness...just to name a few.
My doctor has the best bedside manner.
During my last prostate exam, he kept me calm by putting both of his hands on my shoulders
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.
The conductor almost panicked says, there's too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we're going to crash! The Welshman bravely steps up, For the glory of wales! And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, okay, we're close but there is still too much weight! The Irishman, in a patriotic manner yells, For Ireland! And throws the Englishman off
My wife is a liar
"That wife of mine is a liar." said an angry man to his pal seated with him at the bar.
"How do you know?" the friends asks
"She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she spent the night with her sister Shirley"
"So? What the problem" the friend asks in a confused manner
"So she's a liar. She wasn't at Shirley's, I spent the night with her sister Shirley!"
What do you call an elephant that is pleasingly graceful and stylish in appearance and manner?
An elegant.
My wife is a compulsive plant freak. She's filled our house with all manner of potted plants that she picks up at yard sales and give aways!
I think she's a hoarder-culturist.
I work as a comedian in China, and the authorities are always vetting my material.
>!everythIng is Always Moderated wIthiN a Justified mAnner, precIse and Legitimate. !<
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the manner style jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working manner mode piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.