Manipulation Jokes
40 manipulation jokes and hilarious manipulation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about manipulation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Manipulation Short Jokes
Short manipulation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The manipulation humour may include short jokes also.
- What do you call a giant psychic who manipulates the stock market. A tall medium who shorts.
- This new guy Juan has been hanging out with me and friends lately and honestly, I'm not a fan. He very controlling and manipulative. And no Juan is going to tell me what to do.
- My wife and I get into an argument, because she thinks I'm emotionally manipulative. Everything is fine now. I make her realized how wrong she was and I forgave her.
- I tried to be a sociopath, but I'm not too good in manipulating people. I'm more of a so-so path.
- What do you call a Manipulative Music Conductor?
Bachiavellian - The other day my mom asked me if I think my girlfriend is manipulative "Only if she wants me to" I replied.
- What do you call a creepy manipulative group's place where boys pee out in the open? Cultural.
- How can you tell that NASA is digitally manipulating their photos? UltimaThule is apparently a binary.
- My jokes are like diamonds. The demand for them is manipulated by a cartel to create artificial scarcity and drive up profit margins.
- Russian submarines caught tapping into undersea internet cables to intercept and manipulate internet traffic going to North America.
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Manipulation One Liners
Which manipulation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with manipulation? I can suggest the ones about and .
- I had to quit going to the chiropractor ... I felt he was always trying to manipulate me.
- Guys, I think I'm a manipulative person. How can I take advantage of this?
- Why was the manipulative ghost so unsuccessful? People could see right through him.
- Secretly found that I can manipulate stock market Whatever I bought, it went red.
- How can you tell when someone is Manipulative? *Actually, Nevermind I'm Fine.*
- When a person reaches Nirvana after too long MAN-I-PU-LATE
- Which Greek Philosopher was the easiest to manipulate? Play-Doh
- What does Argus Hakan have in common with God? Both can manipulate electronics at will!
- We should have a parody called 'The Last Husbander' about manipulative wives.
- Why are storm troopers so easy for Jedi to manipulate? They are all jar-jarheads
Manipulation Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about manipulation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make manipulation pranks.
A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...
They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The patrons at the bar are amazed and even the Jedi has to admit it's a nice ride. They both end up saying it's a Good Car. The Mandalorian walks around the corner and after a few minutes comes screaming back on his jet pack and blows up the other cars. He has the Beskar.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's considered t**... if you're poor, but classy if you're rich?
Manipulating the stock market
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.
Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.
"Just don't tell Dad" she says.
*Hey, it's working* thinks Little Johnny.
An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and says: "Dad, I know everything."
Dad gives Johnny $100. "Don't tell Mom" he says.
Just then, the mailman knocks on the door. Johnny opens it and says. "I know everything, Mister."
The mailman drops all his mail, his eyes tear up and he says:
"Well then Johnny, come give Daddy a hug."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why arent chiropractors allowed to start bar tabs at h**...-tonks?
Because chiropractors have been manipulating joints for years...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the dyslexic student get kicked out of Chiropractic College?
Because he kept manipulating patients p**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People who steal our privacy to manipulate us are worms.
We should call them Cambridge Annelidica
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Feminists want to replace words like mankind and mailman so that women are also represented.
I am all for this and think that they should start with manipulate.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the foreign government with agents in our country who are manipulating the masses?
The Vatican has people everywhere.
What is my ex girlfriend's favorite hands on day in math class?
Manipulatives.
god i'm so lonely
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trial in a small town.
In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded "why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me." She continued "You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied "why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counsellors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said "If either of you b**... asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."