Maniac Jokes
34 maniac jokes and hilarious maniac puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about maniac that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Maniac Short Jokes
Short maniac jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The maniac humour may include short madman jokes also.
- It's statistically proven that having a ladder in your home is more dangerous than a loaded gun that's why I have 12 guns in case some maniac tries to sneak a ladder in here
- Where did Napoleon keep his armies? IN HIS SLEEVIES!
Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter. - A wife calls her husband driving to work and says, "Honey be careful. There's a maniac driving on the wrong side of the road on the highway."
He responds, "One maniac? There are hundreds of them." - Did you ever hear about the man who set pastries on fire? He was a self proclaimed pie-ro-maniac.
- Why did the maniacal chemist drop a rancher into his latest concoction? Because the rancher was a cattlist.
- Studies show that owning a ladder is 10 times more dangerous than owning a gun. That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac trys to come at me with a ladder.
- Did you hear about the guy who got caught stealing electric guitars? He was a Clapton maniac.
- A maniac is on the loose after stabbing 6 people with a knitting needle... Early reports from the police suggest he is following some kind of pattern...
- There was a maniac in town earlier today threatening to splash passersby with acid. Thankfully, police managed to neutralise him.
- I heard over the radio there was a maniac on the loose! I got so scared I almost missed the pedestrians!
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Maniac One Liners
Which maniac one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with maniac? I can suggest the ones about lunatic and mad scientist.
- What do you call someone who's obsessively environmentally friendly? An Eco-Maniac
- What do you call a gay serial killer A Homocidal Maniac
- What do you call someone obsessed with procuring free pedicures? A clip-toe-maniac
- How many parents does it take to raise a homicidal maniac? Two, then one, then none
- What are people from Maine called? Maniacs
- What's a ego maniac's favorite candy? Air heads
- What do you call a woman who obsesses over learning about s**...? An info-maniac.
- What do non-Americans call someone with a f**...? A meter maniac..
Fun-Filled Maniac Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about maniac you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean manic depression jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make maniac pranks.
Politics is like driving
No matter which lane you're in, anyone moving faster than you is a maniac and anyone going slower is a m**....
Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects
for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.
"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"
So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"
All men think they are marrying nymphomaniacs.
The problem is, after a few years, the n**... leaves and the maniac stays.
An elderly couple is taking a Sunday drive on I-80
when the wife gets a call on her new-fangled cell-phone. Her daughter is frantic, "Mom, there is a lunatic driving the wrong way down the road on I-80 near your house!"
The wife turns to her husband and says, "Did you hear that? Some maniac is driving down the wrong side of the road!"
The husband screams, "One lunatic?! There are hundreds of them!"
A man is yelling "People, listen to me! I am the son of Satan!" out of the window of a mental asylum.
Another one sticks his head out and yells:
"Don't listen to him, he's a maniac! I don't have a son!"
A Man's Biggest Hope
Most men hope they will marry a nymphomaniac.
The problem is, that after a few years, the n**... leaves but the maniac is still there.
The ink blot test
This guy is with his psychiatrist and the psychiatrist decides to give him a Rorschach ink blot test.
The psychiatrist shows him the first ink blot.
The guy says "That's a man and a woman having s**...".
The psychiatrist shows him the second ink blot
The guy says "That's a man and two women having o**... s**...".
Same thing happens through the whole test. EVERY ink blot, in his mind, has something to do with s**....
At the end of the test the Psychiatrist looks at the guy and says "I know your problem. You're a s**... MANIAC"!
The guy looks at him and says "ME??? YOU'RE the one showing all the dirty pictures"!
Never marry a nymphomaniac
Because after a few years, the n**... leaves but the maniac doesn't
A report came on the news that a maniac was driving the wrong way down the motorway.
I thought I had better give my grandad, who was visiting me, a call and warn him.
He said, "There's not just one, there's hundreds of them."
I married a nymphomaniac. Now after 5 years of marriage, the n**... is gone.
And I'm left with the maniac.
I called my wife to tell her to be careful because the news said some maniac was driving down the wrong side of the interstate.
She said it's worse than that, there's hundreds of them.
You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.
That's why I own ten guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!
^(Source: Gravity Falls. Can't find a good clip of the moment)
Ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot…?
…And everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
old man gets a call from his wife
wife: "stay off the highway. I'm watching the news and there's a maniac driving into oncoming traffic!"
old man: "it's worse than you think! I see hundreds of them!"
What do you call a team-up between a maniac, a random white guy, and the head of the Vatican?
Snapped, c**... and Pope
As a man drives on the hiwhway he hears some emergency news on the radio
"There is a maniac on the highway driving on the opposite direction. Be very careful" the radio says.
To which the man responds
"Just one? Don't they see?? All them are driving in the wrong direction".
