Manhood Jokes

24 manhood jokes and hilarious manhood puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about manhood that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Manhood Short Jokes

Short manhood jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The manhood humour may include short mankind jokes also.

  1. Blind Girl If a blind girl tells you your manhood is massive…
    …she's probably pulling your leg.
  2. A husband wanted to surprise his wife on their anniversary by putting a little bow tie on his manhood, but got worried she wouldn't notice it after she turned out the lights. She found it touching.
  3. "It's no biggie" I can't tell if they are trying to make me feel better or insulting my manhood on the first date.
  4. what does Trump's manhood and net worth have in common? They both fluctuate depending on how he feels that day.
  5. A bee flew up my trousers today and stung my manhood I asked the doc to take away the pain but leave the swelling

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Manhood One Liners

Which manhood one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with manhood? I can suggest the ones about manly and humanity.

  1. What does Bill Gates call his manhood? Microsoft.
  2. What do you call something sad and small? My manhood.
  3. What do you call Ajit Pai's manhood?
  4. I've seen teenage boys wear lots of hoods... But I've never seen them wearing manhood.
  5. Manhood size really matters !! LOL!!

Manhood joke, Manhood size really matters !! LOL!!

Share Hilarious Manhood Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about manhood you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean puberty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make manhood pranks.

Twelve Italian priests...

...were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally n**..., in a garden while a s**..., beautiful, big breasted, n**... model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his manhood, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
As he bent over to pick it up… all the other bells started to ring!

A King asks two guards to protect his beautiful daughter's virginity...

Unbeknownst to the guards, the king put a trap in his daughter's nether regions.
The next day, the king summons the guards and one showed up with mangled g**.... The King had him executed for making attempts on his daughter.
The other guard, with his manhood intact was offered a promotion for upholding abstinence, to which he replied "hnnnggg"

Ladies at the Golf Course

Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at River Hill Golf Club, when a n**... man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. The three ladies stare in awe at the size of his manhood. The first lady says, "He is definitely not my husband." The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, "He is not mine either." After a very considered inspection, the third finally says, "He's not even a member of this golf club.

Presidential clock

After dinner one night, Bill Clinton drops his pants and points at his manhood, telling Hillary if she is going to be President, she better get to know the Presidential clock. She yells, "That's not a clock", to which he responds, "If you put two hands and a face on it, it will be!"

At The Eye Doctor's

A woman went to her optometrist for an exam. The doctor turned the exam chart on the wall and asked her to read it. she replied that she couldn't see anything. He increased the size to 6″ and asked her to try again. Still nothing.
So he enlarged it again to a foot. Still cant see it. out of frustration he pulled out his manhood, and asked if she could see it. She said Oh yes Dr i can see it quite clearly.
He said, Just as I thought, you're cockeyed.

A Priest and a Rabbi go for a Walk in the Park

As both come by a beautiful lake, the rabbi says: Let's take a dip, the water looks refreshing!
But we have no trunks
Then let's go in as god has created us.
Said and done, they go in. After a while, they get out and walk back to their clothes. There, a small group of people surprise the two n**... men.
Full of shame, the priest covers his manhood. He looks to the right and sees the rabbi covering his face.
What are you doing? , he asks.
The rabbi answers: My people recognize me by my face.

A man was in a terrible accident...

and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small, $6,500 for 'medium, and $14,000 for 'large.'
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.
'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'

A Scotsman is tending his flock of sheep... (long)

when he decides to take a nap under a nearby tree.
After he falls asleep, a young woman walking on a nearby road decides to play a joke on him.
She lifts up his kilt, takes a ribbon from her hair, ties it around his manhood, and leaves with a giggle.
After awhile the Scotsman wakes up and walks over by the bushes to take a wee.
He lifts up his kilt and is amazed to see a bright blue ribbon tied around his manhood.
without skipping a beat he says "well I don't know where you've been laddie, but I can see you won first prize!"

A guy finally gets a date with an easy blonde...

To prepare for the date he sunbathes in the n**... on his roof,
falls asleep and burns his manhood. He doesn't want to cancel
so he slathers it with lotion and wraps it in gauze.
The blonde shows up at his house and he treats her to
a home-cooked dinner. Afterwards they go to the living room
to watch a movie. His manhood starts to bother him again so
he excuses himself, goes into the kitchen, pours a glass of milk
and immerses himself for immediate relief.
The blonde, however, wanted to know what he was doing
and walks in on him with his Johnson in the milk and exclaims,
"So that's how you guys load those things!"

Three professors go to the nudist beach

They start reading their newspapers, when suddenly Miss Ridgewell approaches them from the Chemistry Department. The alarmed professors react immediately. Two of them hide their manhood with their newspapers, the third, however, hides his face. They politely salute the lady, who simply passes by to join her friends.
When she's far gone, one of them asks the third professor, "Why did you hide your face?"
To which the third professor replies, "I don't know about you guys, but people usually recognise my face..."

Manhood joke, Three professors go to the nudist beach