The Best 22 Managers Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Managers jokes. There are some managers management lesson jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these managers project manager puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Managers Jokes and Puns
Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.
Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or Jack off. Without batting an eye she responded "you better jack off, I have a terrible headache."
Volta and Ampere interview for the same job.
After the interviews, the managers concur - although Ampere's qualifications are current, Volta is the only one who has potential.
Three automobile managers at the urinal
The first goes to the sink and dries his hands with so many paper towels that not even the smallest droplet remains. "At Opel, we learn to be extremely thorough," he says.
The second uses only one towel for this and remarks: "At BMW, we also learn to be extremely efficient."
The third walks past the sink and says, "At Daimler, we don't piss all over our hands!"
I feel bad for all the nice women named Karen who have to deal with the bad stereotype of asking for managers. Sharon's too..
Because Sharon is Karen
What do schizophrenic Karens do for a living?
They are managers.
A South African actor walks into his managers office (original joke)
Looking for a job. His manager thinks about it and says "we only have one role available at the moment, it's a short film about segregation"
The actor replies "great, that sounds like a-part-heid take"
How many project managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.
At the company meeting, one of the managers came up with an idea.
- I think we should stop testing our products on animals, it's giving our brand a bad rep.
The CEO says:
- How come? The shampoo companies do it all the time!
- I understand, but, sir, we sell hammers.
How many Project managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they are all still discussing the best way to do it.
How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just wait for it to burn out and ask you why it's down
Q: How many managers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. At least 4, plus a victim. One to hire the victim to screw it in for them, a second to supervise the victim, a third to start nit-picking about the way the bulb is being screwed, and a fourth to screw the victim by firing him. They take the credit though none of them actually touched the light bulb.
You can explore managers cfo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean managers director dad jokes. There are also managers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Telemarketers don't have managers
They have ring leaders
Project Manager Humor
Why do Vampires make poor project managers?
Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders.
(why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?)
Why are social media managers on sick leave so often?
Because they easily get viral.
Why do managers like pizza?
It comes out of the box
Two managers negotiated to swap their players for a trade.
Cleveland Cavaliers agreed to trade JR Smith for keeping the ball to Liverpool FC for Loris Karius for passing the ball.
Called to my managers office today
He said "you can't wear pyjamas to work you idiot!"
I replied " everyone else does though"
He replied "THEIR PATIENTS"
What do you call the tabletop for investment fund managers?
Warhammer 401(k)
Good managers, bad managers.
Good managers help their staff learn to succeed.
Bad ones force their staff to learn to Excel.
Man Utd managers are here today,
gone toMourinho.
I got a job at the post office the other day
But I got fired after a few hours. I don't know why, I followed the managers orders to the letter.
Business coach: remember, career ladder is like driving a bicycle.
If it's hard, then u go up.
One of the managers to himself: then whole my life i was riding without a saddle and off road.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the managers stage manager jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working managers hr manager piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.