The Best 56 Management Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Management jokes. There are some management manage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these management management lesson puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Management Jokes and Puns

There was an employment advertisement in an office.



So a guy went there.

Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?"

The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."

Q: Why do Soviet soldiers always miss?

A: They have terrible Marxmanship.

"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"

"That's right, Sir."

"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"

"That was my dentist."

Management joke

A maintenance matter

A husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room, "Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel."

The manager responded, "Sir that's a personal matter."

The husband responded, "Idiot, the window won't open! That's a maintenance matter!"

My wife gave me a leaflet about anger management last week...

I lost it.


I wrote this little ditty just seconds after waking up.

An auto worker storms into his union leader's office. "I have a really pesky booger in my nostril, and management won't get us anymore tissue boxes!!" he shouts.

The union manager calmly responds: "Maybe you should picket."

Air force weatherman

So, my uncle Mark was a weatherman for the air force and one day during a briefing, the Colonel said, "I think we should all thank Mark here for the wonderful weather that we've been having for our bombing runs."
So my uncle says, "I'm in prediction, not production. I think we need to thank the chaplain."
The chaplain, without missing a beat, says, "I'm in sales, not in management."

Management joke, Air force weatherman

Coffee Joke [OC]

So the coffee asked the creamer, "Are you outraged by our working conditions too, or do you support management?"

The creamer replied, "I'm half and half."

^^^I'm ^^^Sorry.

I'm currently working on a management oriented book focused on the delegation of tasks

"I'll have my secretary let you know when my intern finishes writing it." - Mr. Manager

Cordially,

Mrs. Team Lead

How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Where does an angry pirate get sent?

Anchor Management

You can explore management piston reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean management corporate dad jokes. There are also management puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My wife gave me a brochure on anger management the other day.

I lost it.

What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs?

Banner.

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

Did you hear about the man who couldn't keep his herb garden under control?

He had bad thyme management.

Financial Management

A Man found 100$, He went to a 5 star hotel for Dinner there. His bill was 300$.When He said that He has only 100$, then Manager handed Him to Police. He gave 100$ to Police and went free.
Its Called Financial Management.!!

Management joke, Financial Management

What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?

Amino acid!

What do you call a female manager?

Miss. Management.

Why were the pirates on the ship fighting?

They needed better anchor management.


To err is human.

To blame it on someone else shows management potential.

What do you call a feminist manager.

Miss. Management.

Customer feedback.

A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her without any warning.

The surprised girl said, What was that?

The guy smiled at her, Direct marketing!

The girl slapped him soundly.

What was that?! said the boy, holding his cheek.

Customer feedback.

Cellphone Anger Management

Some people get angry when their cell phone runs out of power: they just need to find an outlet.

What basic skill do herb farmers always struggle with?

Thyme management

My therapist gave me a pamphlet on anger management

I lost it.

I've always preferred management over human resources

I guess that's just a personnel preference

Anger Management

As part of my anger management counseling my therapist said I should "Write letters to the people you hate and then burn them."

So I did, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

The two most difficult things in programming...

The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.

Adam and Eve must have lived in the soviet union.

They had no clothes, no roof over their heads, the only food they had was an apple and the management was constantly telling them they were in paradise.

You know why Superman would be the best candidate for a management position?

Supervision.

Why did the vegan get sent to anger management?

He had a bad tempeh...

What did Louis CK call his style of management where he interacts with each employee on an individual basis?

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Management told me in a meeting today that my language is too "insensitive"

How retarded is that?

Why did the saxophone player have to go to anger management?

He had a bad ALTOtude problem.

Did you hear about Steve Harvey's new job?

Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.

Someone gave me a book on anger Management

I lost it

I received a flier on anger management the other day

I lost it

Your government in action

Management ordered refrigerators be installed in the datacenter before the Easter code freeze

I gave a speech about time management

It lasted seven hours

Friend just broke all his protractors

He has a real angle management problem

It's best to hire people with anger issues into high positions

Most of them have already had management training

I got fired from my job in waste management.

The only thing I managed to waste was time.

Like yours.

I reported a cashier to her management for sexually harassing me

She was checking me out.

I'm starting an anger management group for mechanical engineers.

I'm calling it Machine Against the Rage

Hopefully I will win the Biggest Improvement award at the anger management ceremony.

The competition is fierce.

What do you call a fake attempt to overthrow management at the puzzles and mind games factory?

Pseudo coux

I got fired from my last job for cropdusting customers.

I guess management caught wind.

First rule of Fast Food management:

Always put the employee with the worst accent on the drive-through.

I've made a fortune through international human resource management!

Or 'human trafficking', as some call it.

I'm about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes.

I have to take a course in anchor management.

An eye is going to anger management

The counselor asks the eye why are you currently in anger management? To which the eye responds Eyelash out at people when I get angry and I can't stop.

A guy on the street stopped me to give me a flier on anger management.

I lost it.

When you work with computers, you should regularly check their storage management.

It's pretty easy and it won't hurt one bit.

Nitpicking

To resolve conflicts between management and staff, I brought both sides together and asked employees to jot down key words on a flip chart. One participant complained about management's tendency to interfere and wrote the word nitpicking. A manager leaped to his feet to ask, Shouldn't there be a hyphen between nit and picking?

A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her without any warning.

The surprised girl said, what was that? The guy smiled at her, Direct marketing! The girl slapped him soundly. What was that?! said the boy, holding his cheek. Customer feedback.

I just accepted a senior management position on the old MacDonald farm

I'm the CIEIO

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the management resume jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working management executive piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes