The Best 22 Man Speech Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Man Speech jokes. There are some man speech jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these man speech puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Man Speech Jokes and Puns

A man is asked to give a speech on rape...

He stands up and says "Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure..."

Then sat down.

RIP Neil Armstrong

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Since we seem to be doing talking dog jokes today...

A man walks into a talent agency, carrying a small, scruffy looking dog. He sets the dog on the agent's desk and begins his speech:

"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"

"Roof!" Says the dog.

"Amazing! Dog: what is the opposite of smooth?"

"Roof!" the dog replies.

"Incredible! Dog: who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"

Again, the dog says "Roof!"

"Remarkable! So what do you think?"

The agent leans back in his chair and says "Get lost. I can't sell that carny act."

Outside the agent's office, the dog looks up at the man and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"

Man Speech joke, Since we seem to be doing talking dog jokes today...

A man walks into a barber shop for a shave.

While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

Stalin is delivering a speech to the Party

Suddenly someone sneezes.
- Who's just sneezed?
No answer.
- Execute the first row. Who's sneezed, I ask you?
No answer.
- Execute the second row. So who of you has just sneezed?
Finally a shaking man raises and utters feebly:
- It's me, Comrade Stalin.
- Bless you! Now, back to the topic...


A man on a stage giving speech 'all men who are afraid of their wives come here"

All the men except for one person went to the stage. He said to the only man sitting in his seat "wow, so you aren't afraid of your wife, respect".

The man said "my wife told me not to move from this seat till she comes back"

A stairway builder was retiring

On his last day the manager held a speech for him in the lunch-room.
"This man has worked here for over 40 years! Just imagine the number of stairs built by you alone! I reckon, on the day you die, you could stack them on top of eachother and reach heaven!"

The retiring builder, a bit red from embaresment, responded quietly:
"Oh, thank you for your kind words, but I have mostly been building basement-stairs..."

Man Speech joke, A stairway builder was retiring

"I don't understand what this statue of a man talking is supposed to mean"

"It's confusing, but I think it's a figure of speech."

I listened to a speech from Trump this morning apologizing for his wrongdoings and taking responsibility...

That was the weirdest dream ever, man.

A man goes to a funeral ...

After the regular round of eulogies and speeches and well wishers, he leans over the pew and asks the widow:

"Mind if I say a word?"

No, of course not , she says. "Please do."

The man stands up, clears his throat and says:

"Abacus"

Then promptly sits down.

The widow leans back and says: "Thanks, it's the little things that count .

What did the man with a speech impediment name his boat

The S.S. Stutter

You can explore man speech reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean man speech dad jokes. There are also man speech puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


[Offensive] One from the pub again: an old Jewish man wins the lottery...

It's a big old lottery, and he has to go up on stage to accept it.

His speech? He thanks his mum, his dad, his family, and then Hitler.

Everyone's all riled up. They ask: why Hitler?

He rolls up his sleeve, flips his arm over, and tells the crowd: "Well, he gave me the numbers."

I wrote a book about a transsexual with a speech impediment

It's called Man or Myth

Just finished a great book about a transvestite who has a speech impediment.

The title is "Man or Myth."

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and who has a speech impediment?

His name.

And you should probably be ashamed of yourself.

Army Movie Intro Speech...

His name was Jack Parts.

He joined the army just like his old man.

He was now known as Private Parts.

Man Speech joke, Army Movie Intro Speech...

Best Man speech joke help

Hi Everyone,

Mu buddy is getting married on Indepedence Day and need some help for a good joke for the speech. I am the best man.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, with a speech impediment living under the sink?

Dwayne.

"Did you know Yemen is the most mentioned country in everyday speech?"

Person 2: "Really?"

Me: "Yeah, man."


Man, I heard so many "ughs" from Donald Trump's inauguration speech...

I thought I was listening to a Master P song. :)

As best man it is my job to tell you about the groom, and all the embarrassing things that have happened to him in the 28 years leading up to what was the happiest day of his life until i started this speech.

A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech.

Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city."

"Well Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the man speech jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working man speech piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes