Man Of Steel Jokes
33 man of steel jokes and hilarious man of steel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about man of steel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Man Of Steel Short Jokes
Short man of steel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The man of steel humour may include short superman jokes also.
- A homophobic man walks into a gay bar He gets a concussion. Turns out gay steel is just as hard as straight steel.
- Did you hear that none of the destroyed businesses in Man of Steel were paid out by insurance? Turns out their policies didn't cover an "act of Zod"
- The Chinese President stayed overnight at Buckingham Palace. He really proved that he was a man of steel.
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Man Of Steel One Liners
Which man of steel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with man of steel? I can suggest the ones about batman superman and action man.
- What do you call a coked-up Iron Man? Steel Man.
- Very offensive man on the loose with flint and steel Sparks outrage
- What is the black man's favourite metal? Steel .
- What happens when Superman sees Superwoman? He becomes the Man of Steel
- Why does Iron Man like to show off his outfit? It's a steel!
- A man runs into a bar... ...Of steel. He ends up breaking one of his ribs.
- How did Superman turn into Iron man? The Man of Steel went on a low-carb diet.
- What do you call a black policeman? A man IN FRONT of steel prison bars.
Happy Man Of Steel Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about man of steel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean iron man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make man of steel pranks.
A man stumbles across an old lamp.....
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete, how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"
2 guys are watching a n**... man free fall from a cliff
o**... says: I thought he was crazy at first, but now I realise he has got b**... of steel
the other says: Yes, i know. And its making him fall even faster!!
(original joke, hope you like!!)
Superman has to make a doctor appointment...
The doctor is baffled when he walks into the patient room and finds THE Superman sitting on the bench.
"Erm... hello Superman, what seems to be the problem? I'm going to be honest I didn't realize that the man of steel needed to go to the doctor.."
Clearly uncomfortable Superman lowers his gaze and sighs..
"Doc, this is a little embarrassing but it burns when I see..."
A Man and is Wife are Expecting a Baby.
He finally gets the call while at work and starts driving to the hospital. As he gets closer, he gets more and more anxious, thinking about the baby, his wife, whether it's a boy or a girl, etc. But as he's driving he hits a curb. The car's springs break, jutting through the floor and impaling him through the legs with twisted steel and aluminum. He can tell he's losing a lot of blood, so he calls his wife and tells her what's going on. She hangs up and says to the nurse, "my husband is so sweet, he just called me to say 'the suspension is killing me!'"
A Blind Man walks into an all women's bar
He sits down and orders a shot. After the shot he asks, "Does anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"
The lady next to him leans over. She says, "Hey buddy, so I'm gonna tell you this because it seems like you don't know any better. I'm a blonde coal miner, that woman over at the bar is a blonde professional boxer, the bartender is a blonde cage fighter, that woman at the pool table is a blonde steel mill worker, and shes a blonde bouncer. So buddy, are you sure you still want to tell that blonde joke?"
To which the blind man responds, "Well no, not if I've got to explain it five times."
A man walking along a California beach was in deep prayer
when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish." The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want to." The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking ;the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific;the concrete and steel it would take. I can do it,but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish,one that will honor and glorify me". After thinking long and hard,he finally said,"Lord I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they're thinking, why they cry,what they mean when they say' nothing',and how I can make a woman truly happy." After a few minutes the Lord said, "How many lanes you want on that bridge? "
The Story of Jed
There was once a man named Jed, who had grown tired of the may-may culture. But he was at work in the engineering yard, and couldn't just turn off his computer or hide it. This was not the first time he had grown angry with it, and the last time he had destroyed his computer in a rage, so it was now replaced with a reinforced chassis for when he got angry. So he just drank a Mountain Dew for energy, took off his belt and began whipping his reinforced computer. His boss heard the noise and came to stop him. His boss told him "Even Jed fueled can't belt steel memes."
Slackers
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."
At once the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish"
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, my wife says that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing", and how I can make a woman truly happy."
After a few minutes God said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
The man that desired to understand women
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish."
The sunny California sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, and the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man thought for a while, and said, "I want a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges and environmental consequences that kind of undertaking would create. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel would take over thousands of miles! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing!", and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four?"
Understanding Women
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp... blah, blah, blah... This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that. How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much concrete... how much steel!! No. Think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment... to know why they're crying, to know what they really want when they say 'nothing' ... to know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?
Build me a bridge
A man was walking along a California beach and finds a genies bottle, he gives the bottle a rub and a genie appears and offers to grant him one wish.
The man said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm afraid of flying and I get sea sick in boats. Could you build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive there whenever I want?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of the concrete and steel! I could do it but it's hard for me to justify. Is there anything else you would like instead ?"
After much thought, the man said, "Iv'e been married and divorced 3 times and still don't understand women, so I wish that I could understand women."Then, after a few minutes, the genie said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
A man climbed a mountain for the first time...
and he wanted to know how long it would take for an object to fall down a cliff. He threw a pebble. It didn't make a sound. He looked for a bigger object, and threw a fist-sized rock. It too, refused to make a sound. He looked around for a bigger object. The man saw a steel pillar. He threw that off the cliff. Then a goat jumped off the cliff after the pillar. The man was confused. He was analyzing the situation when a farmer came by.
"Hi," said the farmer. "Have you seen my goat anywhere?"
The man replied, "I did see a goat; but it jumped off the cliff."
The farmer exhaled in relief. "That's not my goat," he said. "My goat was tied to a steel pillar."
One of my grandpa's better jokes
An old man is walking along the beach one day when suddenly God appears and says to the man, "You know, you've been a good man and faithful to me all your life. I'm going to grant you one wish. What would you like?"
The man thought about it and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive there any time I want."
God said, "I can't do that, there would be too many problems. Where would I even get all the steel from? Think of something else."
So the man says, "Lord, I've been married and divorced 4 times. All 4 of my wives made me feel like I was doing everything wrong when I thought I was right. Help me understand women."
God replies, "You want two lanes or four?"