Mammal Jokes
58 mammal jokes and hilarious mammal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mammal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mammal Short Jokes
Short mammal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mammal humour may include short marsupial jokes also.
- A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
Me: "I dunno, what?"
Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!" - What's the difference between a hippo, a zippo, and a stick of glue? One is a heavy mammal and one is a little lighter.
- What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal? They both die when dissected
- People say I should find a friend that isn't a marine mammal. But that defeats the porpoise.
- Q: What is a large mammal that lives in swamps and shouts obscenities at passers by? A: The hippopottymouth
Source: friend's kid - My girlfriend convinced me that certain aquatic mammals don't exist right before she broke up with me. She left me in otter disbelief.
- What did the large furry mammal say when the salamander who kept asking for favors went too far? I can't bear it! You axolotl of me this time!
- A marauding group if small angry marine mammals trashed my house last night. They left it an otter shambles i tell ya.
- TIL there's a scientific term for aquatic mammals losing their fur through evolution It's called Whale Pattern Baldness.
- What's the difference between a blue whale and your mother? One is the largest known mammal on earth, the other is a blue whale.
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Mammal One Liners
Which mammal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mammal? I can suggest the ones about rodent and mammary.
- Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.
- What do you call a fascist aquatic mammal? Adolphin.
- I'm so sad since my pet marine mammal died. It's like my life has no porpoise anymore.
- Did you hear that some aquatic mammals escaped from the zoo? It was otter chaos!
- Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escaped from the zoo? It was otter chaos
- What's the most massive mammal? A higgs bison.
- What do you call an anti-Semitic sea mammal? Adolfin.
- I don't understand aquatic mammals What's their porpoise
- What do you get when you cross a blind burrowing mammal with a Roman demigod? Molecules
- Your lifes like a zoo with no aquatic mammals Cuz it has no porpoise
- I've never caught a sea mammal My life is without porpoise
- What do you call an evil mammal that spews nonsense out it's blowhole ? Adolfin
- What happens when you turn flying mammals into hotdogs? Things go from bat to wurst
- What do you call a gender-fluid arctic mammal with anger issues? A bi-polar bear!
- What cheese do you use to coax a large mammal out of a cave? Camembert.
Land Mammal Jokes
Here is a list of funny land mammal jokes and even better land mammal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Which mammal is known to spend most of it's life in air but gives birth on land? Student : Air Hostess
- Whats the largest mammal on land? A beached whale
- What's the difference between a hedgehog and a goldfish? One is a land mammal and one is a fish
Howlingly Hilarious Mammal Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about mammal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean whale jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mammal pranks.
The difference
What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?
One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.
I need your best jokes about mammals. Can you guys help me out?
I need a good, clean, short joke about a mammal. I know this is an odd request, but maybe some of you will enjoy the challenge, or maybe you have some good ones you're just waiting to share. Let me have em.
New Bovine Discovered!
Deep in the heart of the Amazon, we have just discovered a new type of Bovine mammal. Named after the place where they were discovered, the gully bulls make their home in the bottom of a chasm. This Sar Chasm as it is known to the locals, was carved out of the bedrock by the river at the bottom. The gully bulls live at the bottom and their drool feeds the river that turns the wheel that powers the Internet.
What do you call a sea mammal with a mission?
A porpoise.
A panda walks into a bar
sits down and asks the bartender for food. after eating, gets up, takes out a gun and kills the bartender. as he is leaving, a shocked onlooker asks him "why did you do that?" and he answers "Hey. I'm a Panda. It's what I do."
in confusion, they look it up in an encyclopedia.
Panda. Mammal. Eats shoots and leaves.
Where do you find a man with an aquatic mammal f**...?
In Wales.
A panda walks into a bar...
And eats some beer nuts, he then pulls out a gun fires it in the air heads for the door. "Hey!" shouts the bartender and the panda yells back "I'm a panda google me" and sure enough 'panda: a tree climbing mammal with distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'
What do you call a t**... Australian mammal?
a gang-aroo
I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events
Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
What you call a healthy, large aquatic mammal living in a structure that gives access to ground water that is located west of England?
A well Welsh well whale
What do you call the largest mammal on earth that lives in a palace? (not mine)
The Prince of Wales
What's the difference between a flying mammal in sunglasses and a mouse in disguise?
One's a rad bat, the other's a bad rat
Here's a pretty good joke about your pet marine mammal having s**... in an auto parts store.
Your welcome in advance.
A retired policeman decides to get into aquatic mammal identification.
Whale whale whale, what do we have here then?
h**... never really killed himself. He transformed into an aquatic mammal-
-a-dolph-in
TIL the Mars rover Opportunity found a small mammal on the planet that appeared to be related to the opossum.
Unfortunately, the rover Spirit had run over it the day before.
Angle: so what your saying is you want me to put hair on the outside, and milk on the inside?
God: yep
Angel: ...OH! Well if you wanted me to make another mammal then why didn-
God: Nope
Angel: Wait what?
God: were making coconuts.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to s**... a human because it was a very large mammal, its t**... was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not s**... a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.
The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to h**...?
The little girl replied, Then you ask him.
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal d**... in a French River
I told him that's bat s**... in Seine
Did you hear about Walmart's new business model?
Walmart bought the rights to Toys-R-Us and is merging with it. They are changing the mascot from a giraffe to a sea mammal, though.
They're gonna call it, Wal-R-Us.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. At one point in the discussion, the teacher remarked that it was physically impossible for a whale to s**... an entire human being because
…even though the whale was a very large mammal, its t**... was very small.
"But the whale swallowed Jonah," the little girl insisted.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not s**... a human. It was physically impossible, she said.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to h**...?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
I once got high by snorting ground-up bones of a marine mammal, then I ran my neighbor over.
I did it on porpoise.
