Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Mama? Well here is a complete list of Mama to have fun with:
Her blowjob counts as anal.
A little black kid covered himself with baby powder and ran up to his mom screaming, "Mama, mama! Look, I'm white!". His mom was very upset and gave him a spanking and told him, "Go and tell your auntie what you told me!"
So he ran up to his auntie and said "Auntie, auntie! Look, I'm white!" His auntie got even angrier and belted him, and said "Go and tell your grandmother what you just told me"
So he ran up to his grandmother and said "Grandma, grandma! Look, I'm white". She got even angrier and beat him harder than both his mom and aunt combined.
After she was done, she asked him, "So what have you learned from this?"
And the kid responded, "I've only been white for about ten minutes and I already hate black people".
and the Judge is asking Baby Bear who he wishes to live with. "So, is it Mama or Papa?" the Judge asks.
"Mama and Papa beat me," says Baby Bear.
"Well do you have any other relatives?" asked the Judge.
"I have an uncle in Chicago," replies Baby Bear.
"Does he beat you too?" asks the Judge.
"Naww," says Baby Bear. "The Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."
They run over a mama skunk and the wife insists that they go back and pick up the baby skunk.
She says to her husband, "The poor thing is freezing."
"Put him between your legs and warm him up." is the husband's reply.
"But what about the smell?" she asks.
The husband says, "Just hold his little nose and he should be fine."
Me: "Say Daddy!"
Baby: "Mama!"
Me: "Come on... Say Daddy!"
Baby: "MAMA!"
Me: "Fuck you. Say Daddy dammit!"
Baby: Fuck you! Mama!!"
Wife: "Honey, I'm home."
Baby: "Fuck you!"
Wife: "What? Who taught you to say that!?"
Baby: "Daddy!"
Me: "Son of a bitch..."
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all lived in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole stuck his head out of the hole, sniffed the air and said: "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole stuck her head out of the hole, sniffed the air and said "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tried to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but couldn't because of the bigger moles were in the way so he said: "Geez, all I can smell is..."
Are you sure you're ready?
You may never forgive me for this one...
*MOLASSES*
Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!
Shut up and eat what you're told.
Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!
Shut up and keep swimming.
Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
Honestly, I'm scarred.
Mama mole, papa mole, and baby mole all lived in a hole. One day, mama mole stuck her head out and sniffed the air.
"That's weird, I smell grape jelly."
Papa mole squeezes up beside her, sniffs around, and says, "That's funny, because i smell strawberry jam."
Baby mole wanted to sniff the air too, but was stuck behind mama and papa mole, so he said "That's strange, all I smell is molasses!"
when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.
One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell is MOLASSES!"
When she tripped, I didn't laugh, but the ground was cracking up
Mama mia, it's an Italian astronaut!
Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she`d go out, but didn`t know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties.
He in his birthday suit. Looking he asks, "Why the black panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."
He knows he`s not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She`s standing there with the black panties on and he is in his birthday suit; except he has an erection on which he has a black condom.
She looks at him and asks, "What`s with this..a black condom?"
He replies, "I want to offer my condolences."
Your mama is so stupid she puts lipstick on her forehead... Just to make up her mind.
Yo mama such a ho that her privates are called publics.
i'm ashamed of this. but also really proud.
The NSA had to build a 2 billion dollar complex to store her weight information.
Mama bear, papa bear and baby bear.
The parents get divorced and have to go to court to decide custody of the baby bear. The judge decides to let the baby decide:
"do you want to go with your momma baby?"
Baby replies : " no because she beats me!"
Judge: " How about with your papa?"
Baby:" No he beats me too!"
Judge :"then what do you want to do baby bear?"
Baby: "I want to go with the Chicago bears"
Judge:" why the Chicago bears?"
Baby "Because they don't beat anyone!"
I'm from Chicago, a homeless guy told me this one on my way home from work because I have a bears patch on my bag. Found it funny but it hurt!
Yo mama is so classless that Marx thinks she's an ideal society.
Mom: "Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, 'Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.' The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on the couch & they chat for a while.
He then says, 'Okay, Mama, guess which one I'm going to marry?'
Mama says immediately, 'The one on the right. '
'That's amazing, Mama. You're right. How did you know? '
Mama replies: 'I don't like her.'
Kid: mom, some kid is calling me gay
mama: Hit him, in the face.
Kid: I cant
Mom: Why?
Kid: Cause, he's so Cute!!
There was a mole family on a farm, they had a mole hole. The farm belonged to Farmer Davis.
One day Farmer Davis decided to cook some chicken, so he starts a cookin.
Papa mole could smell some chicken and thought it smelled so good, so he scurried on up the mole hole and say at the entrance and whiffed!
"It's so good" he exclaimed.
He called his wife , Mama mole to come smell it too.
She then scurried up the mole hole next to papa mole and smelled the chicken.
"It IS so good" said mama mole.
Papa mole then called to their child, baby mole to come and smell the chicken.
Baby mole made his way over to the hole but couldn't get up to the entrance since mama and papa mole were blocking the way.
He was scampering around trying to smell the chicken and getting frustrated, finally papa mole called down asking "can you smell the chicken?" .
Baby mole then replied in a heat "No, all I can smell is Molasses!"
One day the mama shark decided that it was time to teach her baby how to hunt for food. She spots a cruise ship pulling into port and soon after the people are beginning to play in the water. Mama shark tells her baby "See those people in the water? I want you to go over there and swim three circles around them and then you can go in and eat" The baby shark does just like his mama told him. When he gets back, he asks " Mama, why do I have to swim around the people three times before I can eat them?" The mama shark replies "Because people always taste better when they aren't so full of shit!"
The first baby walks up to her and says, Mommy, why am I called Rose? Mama says, Its because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head. The second baby walks up and says, Mommy, why is my name Lily? Mama says, That is because when you were born, a lily petal fell on your head. The third baby is stumbling along to his mommy and says, egnafunerfnuegenaf.
Shut the fuck up Cinderblock
The title says it all.
Heres one:
Yo mama so fat that light bends around her.
Your daddy proposed to her with an onion ring.
\*\*..yo' daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.\*\*
I would insult your mother, but cows are sacred in my country.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school and says, "Mama, I must confess, I had sex with my teacher today". Mama says, "Johnny! You are only twelve! Go to your room and wait for your father to get home. Father gets home and says, "Johnny, I hear you had sex with your teacher today". Little Johnny sheepishly says, "Yes". Father says, "Son, I am so proud! I was fifteen before I had sex with my teacher, and here you are, only twelve. Good job, boy! Lets go get that bike you wanted. Early Christmas for my little-man." Little Johnny says, "Father, can we wait a couple of days, my bum still hurts"
A sexy Irish blonde at a Casino, seemed a little intoxicated π
She bet 20,000 Euro on a single Roll of dice .
She said - "I hope you don't mind, but I feel Luckier when I'm nude."
With that, she removed her clothes, rolled the dice and yelled-
"Come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the Dice came to a stop, she jumped and yelled - "Yes, Yes,
I Won.. I Won.."
She hugged each dealer and picked up her winnings and clothes and left.
The dealers gazed at each other, dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked-
"What number rolled on the dice?"
The other - "I don't know, I thought you were watching."
Moral of the story:
1.Not All drunks are Drunkο,
2.Not all Blondes are dumbο³,
3.But all Men are Men!!!
A Papa Tomato, a Mama Tomato, and a Baby Tomato are all walking down the street. The Baby Tomato starts to trail behind. The Papa Tomato turns around and walks over to the Baby Tomato, SMASHES him, and says "Ketchup!"
A young Italian man immigrates to America. After a while, he writes to his mother in Italy: "Mama, I have met an American girl. I love her and I want to marry her." His mother immediately writes back: "My son, please do not marry an American girl. An American girl cannot cook as good as an Italian girl. An American girl cannot keep house as good as an Italian girl. And every time you fight, she will call you Wop." Some time goes by and the son writes again: "Mama, I'm sorry that I disappointed you but I married the American girl. You were wrong. She cooks as good as an Italian girl. She keeps house as good as an Italian girl. And she only calls me Wop when I call her Nigger."
They were asking their mother about their names.
Leafy asked:
β Mama, why is my name Leafy?
The Mother answered:
β Cause when you were born a Leaf fell on your head
Then Rainy asked:
β Mama, why is my name Rainy?
β Because when your were born, the water from the rain fell on your head
Then Bricky Asked:
SANMAM,,, EHYWY DISIIS HJHHTMHMGM AMENMA BFIJCKCYΒΏ
every time she turns around it's her birthday
that when she has threesomes the dudes never meet.
Your mama must have fed you jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that.
Then the Mama bear divorced him.
She got fired from a blowjob
There once was three moles, a mama mole, a daddy mole and a baby mole. They all lived in a mole hole, together.
One day the daddy mole smelled a wonderful smell coming from outside the mole hole.
Daddy mole went and poked his little head out of the mole hole. He thought to himself, " wow, that smells like cherry's."
He called over mama mole to see what she smelled. Mama mole poked her head out of the mole hole, with daddy mole.
Daddy mole asked her, "Well, what do you smell?"
Mama mole said, "I smell strawberries."
Daddy mole not being stratified, with her answer wanted a second opinion.
He called over baby mole, but baby mole was too small to poke his head out with the other. He kept jumping up and down only getting about as high as mama mole and daddy moles butts.
Daddy mole than ask baby mole, "What do you smell?"
Baby mole responded, "Well, all I smell is mole-asses."
Yo mama is so fat she stubbed her camel toe!
when she goes outside the street lights come on
Recently heard a yo mama joke and wondered if there is such a thing as yo daddy jokes. If they do exist, I'd like to read some!
Yo mama so fat chain lightning hit her twice.
Yo mama so fat, when she logged in for first time she got the World Explorer achievement.
Yo mama so fat, she caused the Cataclysm by running to a buffet sale.
Yo mama so fat, she's immune to Death Knight's Death Grip.
Yo mama's so fat, it takes a 10 man raid of warlocks to summon her.
that by the time she turned around her biological clock ran out!
Her waistband is the reason Pi is an infinite number.
OJ'S son: Daddy Daddy the ice cream man is here! Can I have some money?
OJ: Go axe yo mama
yo mama so fat, her bellybutton got home fifteen minutes before she did.
yo mama so fat and hairy, instead of getting crabs in her pubes, she got monkeys.
yo mama so fat, i took a picture of her last christmas, and its still printing
no one noticed she was pregnant with you.
Oh, wait, that's 'cause you were adopted.
...when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion says "STAY OVER THERE!"
Me: uh... 4
Swedish Man: FJOUR MAMA!
You've read some of the best mama jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty mama gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.
How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these mama jokes are funny and some are hilarious.
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