Howlingly Hilarious Mama Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
Mama and Papa Bear are getting divorced...
and the Judge is asking Baby Bear who he wishes to live with. "So, is it Mama or Papa?" the Judge asks.
"Mama and Papa beat me," says Baby Bear.
"Well do you have any other relatives?" asked the Judge.
"I have an uncle in Chicago," replies Baby Bear.
"Does he beat you too?" asks the Judge.
"Naww," says Baby Bear. "The Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."
Yo mama so fat...
When she tripped, I didn't laugh, but the ground was cracking up
Yo mama such a h**......
Yo mama such a h**... that her privates are called publics.
i'm ashamed of this. but also really proud.
Your mama is so fat...
The NSA had to build a 2 billion dollar complex to store her weight information.
In and Out
(Part joke and part tongue-twister - lots of fun to tell out loud.)
Once upon a time, a mama skunk had twin baby skunks, who she named In and Out.
One day when they were just wee skunks, In and Out went out to play. At lunchtime, Mama Skunk poked her head out and called out, "In and Out, it's time to come in!"
After a few minutes, Out comes in. Mama looks at him and says, "Out, where is In? I just told you both to come in!"
Out says, "In is still out." So Mama tells him "Well Out, you go right back out, find In, and bring him in!" So Out goes out, and within just a minute he comes back in with In.
Mama Skunk is amazed. She says, "Out, how on earth did you find In so quickly?"
Out shrugs and says, "Instinks."
moles
Mama mole, papa mole, and baby mole all lived in a hole. One day, mama mole stuck her head out and sniffed the air.
"That's weird, I smell grape jelly."
Papa mole squeezes up beside her, sniffs around, and says, "That's funny, because i smell strawberry jam."
Baby mole wanted to sniff the air too, but was stuck behind mama and papa mole, so he said "That's strange, all I smell is molasses!"
At my friend's house, her dad told us these jokes called "Mama mama jokes." I expected old fashioned "Yo' mama" jokes. I got these.
Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!
Shut up and eat what you're told.
Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!
Shut up and keep swimming.
Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
Honestly, I'm scarred.
An old married couple are driving down the road.
They run over a mama skunk and the wife insists that they go back and pick up the baby skunk.
She says to her husband, "The poor thing is freezing."
"Put him between your legs and warm him up." is the husband's reply.
"But what about the smell?" she asks.
The husband says, "Just hold his little nose and he should be fine."
Yo mama is so fat that
when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad
A "your mama joke for the books.
Your mama is so s**... she puts lipstick on her forehead... Just to make up her mind.
Three moles smell something.
Papa mole first pokes his head out of the hole and sniffs. He then says "I smell some good pancakes and syrup." Next mama mole pokes her head out of the hole and says "all I smell is fruits and honey." Then baby mole tries to poke his head out of the hole and says " I can't smell anything except molasses."
You can explore mama papa reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mama nana dad jokes. There are also mama puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Fascinate
Teacher: Can anyone use the word "fascinate" in a sentence?
Billy: I was fascinated by the sunrise.
Teacher: Good, but "fascinated" is past tense. Can anyone else try?
Suzie: It was fascinating to see the flowers grow.
Teacher: Good, Suzie, but you added an "ing" at the end of the word and made it an adjective. I just want to hear the verb "fascinate".
Ernie: Yo mama got a blouse with 12 b**... on it...but she so fat, she can only fascinate!
Yo mama so fat....
pickup lines don't work on her.
Yo mama is so fat that she needs cheat codes for the Wii fit
Yo Mama so fat her Patronus was a cheeseburger..
Yo mama so fat...
her carbon footprint turned to diamond.
Yo mama so fat...
...she had an heart attack while running an app.
Yo mama fell down...
The physicists discovered Gravitational waves today
I smell maple syrup!
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is . . . . .
molasses."
I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.
"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"
"To buy groceries," I told him.
"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many f**...' security cameras."
Yo mama so fat. . .
I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.
Your mama is so ugly
She fell into a gorilla exhibit and got shot.
Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...
Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."
Yo Mama has so many warts...
Her face spells "ugly" in Braille
Guys, just remember that every yo mama joke that exists has been done hundreds of times by hundreds of different people.
Like your mom.
It was called a jumpoline...
...until your mama got on it
Yo mama so fat...
I pictured her in my head and broke my neck.
Yo mama so fat...
It takes more than a single processor to load her chunks.
Yo mama so ugly
She went into a haunted house and came out with a paycheque
Yo Mama so Fat
She can't save files bigger than 4GB.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she sends me n**..., my phone storage gets full.
Yo mama so fat
When she sings.. it's over.
Yo mama so old...
...she preordered the Bible.
The Earth used to be flat,
but then they buried yo mama.
Yo mama is so fat..
..when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Yo mama so fat
Thanos had to snap twice.
Yo mama so fat..
Your dad was attracted to her by the force of gravity.
Yo mama so old...
... I told her to act her age, and she died.
Yo mama so fat
I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas
Yo mama so fat...
When she was buried, the flat earthers announced the earth is not flat anymore.
We all complain about reposts, but do you know where new jokes come from?
A dad joke meets a yo mama joke... and then they screw in a lightbulb.
Yo mama so fat...
Thanos had to clap to get rid of her
Justin told me my mama was so fat she had a gravitational orbit ...
I told him he doesn't understand how physics works, cause everyone has a gravitational orbit.
Then I informed him his dad is so massive that his gravitational orbit is so large, not even light can escape it — and that's why he hasn't seen his dad in 20 years!
Dad jokes and Yo Mama jokes seem like they'd be the same
But the difference is a parent.
Yo mama so dumb,
she tripped over the wireless network.
There are three skunks. Mama, In, and Out.
In always stays inside, and Out always stays outside.
One day In went out and Out went in.
Mama soon called for the boys, but only Out came.
"Go find your brother." she ordered.
Out came back with In in less than five minutes.
"How did you do it so fast?" Mama asked.
Out simply replied, "Instincts."
(if you dont get it, read it aloud.)
What did the baby corn ask the mama corn?
Where's pop corn?
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
A cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
A cow with 2 legs?
YO MAMA
Yo mama so fat...
When she hauls a**..., she has to make two trips.
Gimme your best yo mama jokes.
Yo mama so ugly
Yo momma so ugly the whole world faked a virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a mask
Your mama is so ugly...
The whole world faked a virus just to make her wear a mask.
Mama, is this safe to eat?
No honey... it's for storing our valuables.
Yo mama
Yo mama so fat, she went to a weight lifting competition and won 1st place for standing up
Your mama is so ugly
Your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't.
Biden and Barack don't tell each other "yo mama" jokes...
they tell each other Jo 'Bama jokes.
(I'm sorry, it's terrible)
If Joe Biden's wife is called the First Lady, then what will his mother be called?
Joe mama.
Credit to u/Grignard_RMgX
I would make a joke about how yo mama so fat...
But we shouldn't talk about the elephant in the room.
Mama always said Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.
Well I did it! Bank balance: 9.11!
What do you call Joe Biden's mom
Joe mama
Mama and Papa did not let me listen to classical or jazz music as a kid.
Too much sax and violins, apparently.
What Did the Little corn ask his mama corn?
mom wheres Popcorn
Yo mama so fat it's hilarious
I'm not laughing but the floor is cracking up
My daughter was born this morning, July 4th.
It's the day I lost my independence.
(This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well).
The Italian Mother
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is
going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you
try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them
down on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says, "Okay, Mama, guess which one am I going to marry?"
Mama says immediately, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing, Mama. You're right. How did you know?"
Mama replies: "I don't like her."
Yo mama so ugly
She entered a Miss America pageant and nearly lost her citizenship.
Yo mama
Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.
Yo mama so fat...
Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity
But she so ugly people are still repelled by her
Yo mama so FAT
She eats her dinner off of the tectonic plates!
If Joe Biden's wife is called the First Lady, then what do you call his mother?
Joe mama
Yo mama so s**......
She put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so big, the stork couldn't carry her...
They needed a *crane*.
Yo mama jokes are classics
They're kinda outdated, yet still enjoyed by many.
Just like yo mama.
Yo mama is so fat
She is literally attractive
Yo mama so fat
The earth was actually flat until they buried her.
Yo mama joke I thought of it
Yo mama is so fat and old that she's still eating from the last supper.
Edit : Jesus Christ this blew up. Didn't know so many of you had to release yo mamas from your system.
Yo mama is so fat that…
She needs to wear a watch on both wrists because of time zone difference.
Yo mama so fat, they did a story on how fat she was on the channel 3 news
I switched to channel 7 and you could still see her a**... in the corner of the screen
Yo mama and yo papa both so fat
...scientists refer to your conception as "the even Bigger Bang".
The Earth was flat....
...until they buried yo mama.
Yo mama so old
Her chiropractor a paleontologist
Yo mama so fat..
.. She spread more than covid
Yo Mama so fat that when she slid into my DMs….
My phone ran out of space.
Ur mama is so fat
I swerved to miss her and my car ran outta gas!!
Yo Mama So Fat
When she takes a bath she doesn't use any water and it still overflows!
Advice
A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year old patients with a very beautiful, well-built young lady on his arm.
He was looking the happiest he had ever seen him.
When the old guy noticed the doctor he went up to him and said, "Well Doc. I took your advice and look at me."
Puzzled, the doctor asked what the advice was.
"You told me to get a hot Mama and be very cheerful," he replied.
"Oh no. I told you that you had got a heart murmur and to be very careful."
Yo mama told an outlaw "this town isn't big enough for the two of us"
The outlaw responded "it's not big enough for one of you."
yo mama is so fat
Her favorite food is 2nds
Yo mama so fat…
Biden just shot her out of the sky
A young boy went to church with his mother
Midway through the service, the boy loudly said "Mama, I have to pee!"
After taking him to the bathroom, his mother said "It's rude to say 'pee' in public like this. Next time in church, just say you have to 'whisper.'"
The next week, the boy went to church with his father instead. As the service ended, the boy looked up at his father and said "Daddy, I have to whisper!"
And the father said "Well, OK- just whisper in my ear."
Yo Mama is a Size Eight
Size Ate Too Much.
Yo mama so ugly
When she sits on her phone, it unlocks.
Yo' mama is so dirty...
She did the Tide Pod challenge and vanished
