Malt Jokes
7 malt jokes and hilarious malt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about malt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Happy Malt Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What is a good malt joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blond walks into a bar and orders a line of shots.
A blond walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the establishment's finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets her up, and the blond takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. She then takes the last shot in the row and does the same.
The bartender asks, "Why did you do that?" And the blondy replies, "Well the first shot always tastes like c**..., and the last one always makes me sick!"
3 Docs needed…
A Doctor was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang.
The doctor calmly answered it, and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We have already opened an 18 year old RARE SINGLE MALT GLENFIDDICH WHISKEY..
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was moving out, his wife asked, "Is it serious..?"
"Oh yes, quite", said the doctor gravely. Shaking his head, he muttered "Only18 years old. 3 doctors are there already..!"
Why is an unmarried man from Malta very desirable?
Because he is a single malt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hurricane Malt Liquor:
Because the power shouldn't be the only thing experiencing a b**... this weekend.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender for his best scotch.
The bartender reaches up to the top shelf and gingerly picks up a bottle of single malt. He carefully pours a shot into a clean glass and put in on the bar. The guy grabs the drink and throws it down his t**... in one gulp. The bartender is aghast and says " Whoa, whoa that is 17 year old nectar from the Scottish Highlands. It should be savored and enjoyed not gulped like a shot of cheap v**... !" The guy says "You would drink it fast if you have what I have." "Why what do you have ?" he asks. The guy says "$1.28 !"
A piece of string walks into a bar...
A piece of string walks into a bar and proceeds to jump up on a barstool while calling out, "Bartender! Give me a shot of your best single malt."
The Bartender looks over at the piece of string and snarls, "We don't serve your kind here - get out!"
The piece of string leaves feeling very dejected, until he has an idea. He immediately contorts himself into a half-hitch and then rubs one end on the nearby wall.
Ten minutes after being thrown out of the bar, the piece of string returns, again jumping up on the barstool while calling out, "Bartender! Give me a shot of your best single malt."
"Aren't you that piece of string I threw out of here a few minutes ago?"
"No. I'm a frayed knot."
On the top floor of a hotel, there was a panorama bar...
...and two men were each enjoying a quiet drink.
One of them asks the other: "What are you drinking?" The other replies: "Scotch, single malt. It's pretty good."
Then the first man says "You should really try out this bourbon right here - two shots of these, and you can do anything." The second man wasn't convinced, so it was up to the first man to prove it.
He swallowed his drink, went over to the window and jumped out fell all the way to the ground, landed and jumped back up again. "There. Anything, I tell you."
So the other man immediately ordered a double of the first man's bourbon, drank it in one go and jumped out the window where he fell to his death.
Then the bartender looked at the first man and said: "Clark Kent, you are one mean drunk."
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