The Best 9 Mallard Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Mallard jokes. There are some mallard buttquack jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mallard platypus puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Mallard Jokes and Puns

Two mallards walk into a bar

The other one ducks

*Ba dum tsss*

TIL about Mexican drug birds.

During the early 60s drug cartels would use South-American mallard flocks to smuggle drugs over the border.

The birds' predictable migration patterns and considerable size made them perfect for the job, until a few years later.

That's when the ducks got wise and just started smoking all the quack.

What did the abusive mallard say to his duck wife?

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.

Mallard punnage

Why can't you shoot a mallard ?
They duck

What do a totalitarian mallard and a potato in an air vent have in common?

They're both duct-taters (sorry)

What did they arrest the mafia mallard for?


(I quickly deleted and reposted to fix the spelling in the titles)

What did the arrest the mafia mallard for?


Why didn't the mallard walk into the bar?

He ducked under it.

What did the mallard yell in the drive-by shooting?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mallard goose jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mallard louie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes