male Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious male stories

What are the best male puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Male? Well here is a complete list of the top male jokes:

A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, "Give it to me straight doc!"

The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male." They both laugh and the doctor says, "Besides, I don't want AIDS"

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When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body

Then I was born

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Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he's a guy but he could've been Fe Male.

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Today in sex ed our teacher asked what's the difference between a male reproductive system and the female reproductive system.

Apparently there's a vas deferens

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They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they're desperate for food.

They just have to swallow their pride.

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no excuses

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."

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The morticians wife.

The mortician gets a call to come pick up Schultz, who dies unexpectedly. While getting him ready for the funeral, he can't help but notice Schultz has a freakishly huge male member. So he cuts it off, puts it in a bag, and brings it home to show his wife this amazing specimen.

He gets home and says, " Honey come look at the amazing thing I found at work today!" She comes over, takes a look in the bag and shrieks loudly, "Oh my God! Schultz is dead!"

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What's the technical term for a female to male sex change?

A strapadictome

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Did you know that a male ejaculates at 27mph?

That's why I always get in trouble when I do it in school zones.

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So two people are about to have sex for the first time

and the lady says, "Unfortunately I have small boobs, is that alright with you?"

To which the male replies, "Yea it's alright, I have a dick like a baby."

After the sex the lady exclaims, "You have the biggest penis I have ever seen in my life, Why did you say it was like a baby?"

"It is. 9 pounds 6 ounces and a foot in height."

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Two male deer are leaving a gay bar,

One turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I just blew 20 bucks."

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What is a male pirates biggest fear?

A sunken chest with no booty.

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A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

The guy behind the counter says, Male or female ?

The customer says, Female.

The counter guy asks, Black or white?

The customer says, White.

The counter guy asks, Christian or Muslim?

The customer says, What does religion have to do with it?

The counter guy says, The Muslim one blows itself up.

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A male frog goes to a psychic.

The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"

"No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."

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Two firemen having sex

The chief of a firehouse walks into the back room to find two male firefighters having sex. The chief yells out "what the hell are you doing?!" One of the guys says "he had smoke inhalation." "You fix that with mouth to mouth!" Yelled the chief. The other guy said, "how do you think this all started?"

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So a man rides his camel through New York...

and leaves it to go to a diner. When he comes back, his camel is missing, so he goes to the police.

The police ask a few questions. "Was the camel male or female?"

The man replies, "I'm not entirely sure- Wait! I remember! It's male it has to be!

"How do you know?"

"Well, when I was riding through town people kept pointing and saying "Look at the shmuck on that camel!"

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What do you get when you have 50 female pigs and 50 male deer?

One hundred sowsand bucks

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Two male deer are leaving a gay bar

One turns to the other and says "I can't believe I just blew 20 bucks"

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Whats the technical term for a female to male sex change?

An adadictomy

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When it comes to distinguishing male genitalia from female genitalia...

There's a Vas Deferens.

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What do you call a cheap male prostitute with a big dick?

$5 foot long.

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Interviewing Arab for US visa


Interviewing an arab for a visa

Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels.

Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab : Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast

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What is a male widow called?

single

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How do you starve a feminist?

Lock her in a room with a jar of pickles and a male body builder.

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What do you call a male cow wearing a pink shirt, orange shorts, and a purple backpack?

Adorable
(A-dora-bull)

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Why did the male spider spin a web?

So he could catch all the fly ladies.

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Male and female anatomy are not similar

There's a vas deferens

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Tony Stark's drag queen name.

Fe Male.

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Why should only women Iron?

Because a man with an iron is a Fe Male



^^^^Sorry ^^^^for ^^^^the ^^^^Sexism

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A male frog calls a medium line and he is told he'll meet a beautiful lady frog.

"Will it happen at a ball?" he asks. "no , in a biology class"

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Attractive. Brainy. Romantic. Faithful. Makes good food. Gives great head.

-- Online dating profile of a male praying mantis.

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if there would only be 2 genders

iron man would be a Fe male

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I looked up "cock" in the dictionary...

It says "the male of the domestic fowl or chicken". That's all my black female neighbours ever talk about, they must really love fried chicken.

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I always make sure I have a single male friend

Because he comes in handy.

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A male potato chip steps up to the bar and buys a drink.

He sees two female potato chips sitting nearby. He says to the one female potato chip, "Excuse me. Are you Herr's or Frito Lay?"

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8 letter word for the somewhat-outdated practice by male prisoners of giving their female co-criminals first pick at the bootleg weapons?

Shivalry.

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Why are dentists usually always male?

Because they like to be in other peoples mouths.

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A piece of advice for all the aspiring male porn stars...

Be prepared to work hard.

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What do you call a group of male lions?

A gay pride.

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do you know?

Did you know It takes the average American male approximately 4 minutes to have an orgasm. Do you know how long it takes the average woman?

Who fucking cares.

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Two nuns were on their day off...

...and they were on their way to sate their only vice, which was a male strip club. On their way there, they passed a barber shop where the smell of burning hair wafted through the air. One of them turns to the other and says, "I think we better slow down, Mabel."

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A male law is going on a date

A male law thought he was going to dinner with a female decree, but it turned out it was a mandate!

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What did the sexist male police officer say to the female police officer who was trying to arrest an Occupy Wall Street protester who did not believe that the female police officer was an officer of the law?

Honey, badge her.

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A mouse and an elephant

A male mouse and female elephant, which are very much in love with each other, are having sex in the jungle. Mr mouse does his best, but if course miss elephant didn't really enjoy it.

Monkeys up in the trees see the scene and decide to throw coconuts at them. Miss elephant is hit on the head and tell "ouch"

Mister mouse stops and asks, worried "Did I hurt you?"

(Translated from French, sorry for my English)

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Did you hear about the homosexual letter?

Only came in male boxes.

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What do you call a male porn star?

The head actor.

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An old man owns a boat.

He is a rich old bird who made his fortune early in life. he is a bit crazy and for some reason always hires male strippers and keeps absurd amounts of potatoes on his boat. when asked why he said, " I've always wanted to rule a country but i never got too, so i bought my boat and filled it with taters and male strippers." when asked how that helped he replied simply,"It's my dictatorship."

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What do you call a cheap male prostitute with a big cock?

$5 Footlond

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An Arab being interviewed at the US Embassy...

CONSUL: "Your name, please?"
ARAB: "Abdul Aziz."
CONSUL: "Sex?"
ARAB: "SIX times a week."
CONSUL: "I mean, male or female?"
ARAB: "Both male & female & sometimes even camels."
CONSUL: "Holy cow!"
ARAB:"Yes, cows & dogs too."
CONSUL:"Man, isn't that hostile?"
ARAB:"Horse style, dog style,any style!"
CONSUL:"Oh dear!"
ARAB:"Deer?No deer, they run too fast!!..."

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How do you get a male cat "fixed"?

Get him Catstrated

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best male jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about male. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty male gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these male jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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