Malaysian Jokes

Following is our collection of plane puns and inflight one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Malaysian jokes for adults, dirty biplane jokes and clean laotian dad gags for kids.

The Best Malaysian Puns

Malaysian Airlines and United should merge

That way they can beat their passengers and no one will ever find out.

I heard some guy tell two terrible Malaysian Airline jokes...

The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames

Four men walk into an upmarket bar...

One is Malaysian, one Laotian, one Burmese and the other Vietnamese. As they walk in, the doorman stops them and says, "sorry gentlemen, I can't let you in without a Thai."

"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time."

Said the Malaysian shark.

Why don't Malaysian TV shows get commissioned?

Because they all have terrible pilots.


A Malaysian man buys a new phone...

He puts it on airplane mode. Now he cant seem to find it anywhere.

A Moment of Silence

Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat.

The Only Malaysian Airlines Survivor

Please spare a thought and your sympathy for the man who told his wife he was going to China on Malaysian Airlines flight MH370...

And now can't come out of his girlfriend's apartment.

I was going to watch a documentary on the malaysian airlines

but I was too scared my computer was gonna crash

How do Malaysian airlines serve all their drinks?

On the rocks

What does R. Kelly have in common with Malaysian Airlines?

They both think they can fly.


What is empty and spins round and round?

A Malaysian Airlines baggage claim.

An American, Russian and Malaysian are having a conversation

The American says: "We have the best stealth planes ever. We can fly our B-2 stealth bomber over Beijing and the Chinese will never see."

The Russian, not willing to be out done, says "We also have good stealth planes, so stealthy like Khrushchev and very accurate. 100% not bootleg."

The Malaysian said, "I have the best stealth plane. MH370 hasn't been found for 4 years."

Last time I flew on Malaysian Airlines, I decided not to shower first.

I figured I could just wash up on shore.

I wrote a joke on Malaysian flight MH370...

....but don't know where it went.

Why has the Malaysian Government banned Cheese Boards?

Because people keep reporting they've found de brie.

Do you want to play a Russian drinking game?

It's simple. If you see a Malaysian Airlines jet in the sky, take a shot.

Last time I flew Malaysian Airlines I didn't shower first

I just figured that I'd wash up on the beach instead.

The Malaysian athletes at the Commonwealth Games are looking very nervous

Must be thinking about the flight home already.


one of the best documentarys

ive ever watched on netflix is about a chinese couple who didnt board the Malaysian flight 370 (one that disappeared) when they should have done. All sorts of conspiracy theories. worth a watch, highly recommended.

It's called 2 wongs dont make a flight

There is a Malaysian '80s cover band called "The Union."

What were they thinking, not going with "Durian Durian"?

Malaysian food is the best!

Because it goes down easily

Whatever happened to Malaysian flight 370?

It just fell off the radar

What did one ocean say to the other?

"Check out this awesome plane I got! I hear Malaysian is a pretty rare brand."

"Nah man, they aren't; I got one too."

In an attempt to raise profits

... I've heard that Malaysian Air is considering offering 1/2 way tickets.

I was going to watch a documentary on the Malaysian Airlines

But I couldn't find it.

How do we get rid of Ebola?

Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane

Let's spare a thought for the Malaysian business man on flight MH370.....

who told his wife that he was going to China for a meeting and now can't leave his girlfriend's apartment.

As a Malaysian, I thought that our Prime Minister would be crowned the worst political leader of the century

But it looks like America has finally decided to us their Trump card.

How much does it cost to shoot down a Malaysian airliner?

About a Buk

Air Crash Investigation...

Are set to release Malaysian airlines boxset.

What happened when the Malaysian asked the Russian out on a date?

He got shot down.

The only line I would hate to be stuck in more than long lines are........

Malaysian Airline

the whole Malaysian Airlines thing is fascinating

looks like they're out to prove that it is the journey, not the destination, that matters most.

A Cambodian, a Vietnamese, a Laotian, a Malaysian and a Burmese walk into a bar

The barman refuses to serve them because they don't have any Thais

How many Malaysians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The light bulb was right here just a second ago.

If a Malaysian and a Korean took part in a competition...

in which whoever rings a bell first loses, who will win?

The Korean, because Malaysian Ringgit, and Korean Won.

True jokes

Malaysian politics.
Malaysian prime minister.
Malaysian election 2018

_now ready for downvotes

Airline food is terrible

Said the Malaysian shark.

What is the difference between an Malaysian airline plane and a black man?

The black man intentionally went missing.

There is an abundance of malay jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 40 funniest jokes and malaysian puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any boeing witze you can hear about malaysian.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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