making sentences Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious making sentences puns

A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference

For example:

Johnny ate his own lunch after school.

Johnny ate his own colon after school.

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is google male or female?

female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions

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A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."

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Comas make a big difference in a sentence.

For example,

Ben is in a hurry.

Ben is in a coma.

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There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .

Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.

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Is Google male or female?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish your sentence before making a suggestion.

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What gender is Google?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

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Is google male or female?

Female, because it doesnt let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

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If life was like middle school

Judge: In all my years on the bench, I have never seen a more despicable criminal. You robbed, assaulted, and tortured the victim simply for the thrill of it. Do you have anything to say before I sentence you?

Criminal: Nope

Judge: I hereby sentence you to forty years in a maximum security prison. I also sentence the victim to forty years in prison.

Victim: Wait- what? That doesn't make any sense! *He* attacked *me*!

Judge: I don't care who started it.

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Is Google male or female?

Female because she won't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion

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A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...

...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"

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Contagious

"Right class," said the teacher. "Who can make a sentence with the word 'contagious'?"

Little Johnny threw up his hand excitedly.

"Yes, Johnny?"

"My dad saw our neighbour painting his fence with a little brush, and said, 'Blimey, that'll take the contageous!'"

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The bride asks her husband

The bride asks her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

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Young teacher

A school inspector joins the class of a young female primary teacher to assess her performance. He sits down at the back of class and takes out his notebook.
The young teacher writes a sentence on the board, steps to one side and looks meaningfully at the children. No reaction. Silence.
She goes back to the board, takes a ruler, underlines the sentence in blue, steps to one side and looks meaningfully at the children. No reaction. Silence.
Sighing, the teacher turns back to the board, draws a box around the sentence in red and says, "Well?"
Little Johny is sitting in the back row; his hand shoots up.
"Yes, Johnny," says the teacher.
"I'd shag the arse off that any day of the week!" says Johnny.
"No, Johnny," says the teacher, blushing, "that's not what I wrote."
Johnny turns to the school inspector:
"Silly twat! Make sure you get the answer right next time you whisper."

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A period at the end of a sentence can make a big difference

Ginny is drinking her coffee
Ginny is drinking her period

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Little Johnny in creative writing

The teacher start creative writing class by saying, "Today I want you to write a sentence that uses the word 'beautiful' twice".

Susie goes first: "My mom bought me a beautiful dress and I look beautiful in it."

Next, the teacher calls on Mary: "Today is a beautiful sunny day, helping the beautiful flowers to grow."

Thinking, "Little Johnny can't possibly make this ugly", the teacher calls on him. Little Johnny says, "Last night at dinner my sister told us she is pregnant and my Dad said, 'Beautiful. Just fucking beautiful.'"

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Mujibar get a job in India

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have to show you are proficient in the English language. Please make a sentence using the words: Yellow, Pink, and Green.'

Mujibar responded, 'The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and say, Yellow! This is Mujibar.'

Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him.

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At a lavish party the host calls for silence as he makes an announcement..

He says;

"To the first person who can swim from one end of my swimming pool to the other I will duly award them the sum of one million dollars but there's a twist! As you can see there's also three huge alligators and...

Before he could finish his sentence there's a huge splash and commotion at one end of the pool. A man can be seen frantically swimming for his life towards the other end.

He makes it luckily without being eaten. The host congratulates him and asks him what he will do with the money.

The guy says "I don't care about the money, I just want the name of the fucker who pushed me in."

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A prison story.

A terrified man was sentenced to prison and placed in a cell with a rather large inmate. The man's fears became realized as his cellmate wandered over to him in the evening with a longing look in his eyes.
"Hey there, let's play house" said the cellmate.
"Uh... Ok, how do I play?"
"Well, first you have to choose. Do you want to be the mommy or the daddy?"
Trying to make the best of a bad situation, the man said "Uhh... I'll be the daddy, I guess."
"Sounds good, Daddy. Now get over here and suck Mommy's dick!.

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"Goan" and "Smee" aren't in the dictionary, but can still be used in a sentence

A radio station was running a competition – words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ: 96 FM here, what's your name?

Caller: Hi, my name's Dave.

DJ: Dave, what's your word?

Caller: Goan... spelt G-O-A-N pronounced 'go-an'.

DJ: You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?

Caller: Goan fuck yourself!

The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:

DJ: 96 FM, what's your name?

Caller: Hi, me name's Jeff.

DJ: Jeff, what's your word?

Caller: Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'.

DJ: You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?

Caller: Smee again! Goan fuck yourself! ?

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A teacher asks her 1st grade class to make a sentence with the word "definitely" in it...

Little Suzy stands up and says "the sky is definitely blue!"
"No," the teacher replies. "It depends on the weather, the sky can be gray and at night its black."
Another student stands up and says "trees are definitely green!"
The teacher replies "no, during autumn the leaves change color."
The class goes quiet and then little Billy stands up and asks "Teacher, do farts have lumps?"
The teacher confused says "no, why?"
Billy then says, "well then i definitely just shit my pants"

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We've all talked to this guy!!

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said; "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skill. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The manager said, " You must make a sentence using the words yellow, pink, and green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said. "Mister Manager, I am ready." The Manager said. "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green; and I pink it up, and say 'Yellow', this is Mujibar!" Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him!!

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An old couple go shopping...

... At the grocery store. The wife continuously nags the husband about the cost of all the things he wants to buy and he grumbles back at her. When they get to the canned fruit aisle she looks at a can of peaches and exclaims "that's ridiculous!" at the price. Looking both ways, she slips it into her purse.

After they leave the store a police officer stops them, informing her she was seen stealing the peaches on video. When she gets to court to answer for her crime the judge says, "this kind of petty theft is unacceptable and becoming more common. I'm afraid I need to make a lesson of you." He looks at her carefully. "How many peaches are in the can you stole?"

"Seven" she replied.

"Very well. I am sentencing you to seven days in jail."

Just then the husband piped up. "Uh, your honor?"

"Yes?"

"I should probably tell you she also stole a can of peas."

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A kindergarten teacher...

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."

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What is the longest sentence that a man can make?

I do.

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Paraprosdokians

*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*

Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.

I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.

If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)

You're never too old to learn ...something stupid.


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There's a sexy new teacher at school

In grammar class, she asks who can say a sentence including an expression of politeness. Naughty Johnny raises his hand.

'I would be most delighted to make out with you Miss Campbell... and bang you, too!'

Miss Campbell blushes and yells:

'Out!'

Naughty Johnny gets his things and walks towards the door, when suddenly Miss Campbell says:

'Not you... the others!'

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I've adapted this from an old joke, I hope you enjoy.

A man was hiring for a factory, he called in the first applicant from the waiting room and asked him a few questions. Then, for his final question he asked him, "Will you make a sentence with the word 'great'?"
The applicant replied after some thought "Oh, I have a leather jacket and I think it's really great!"
The boss let him go and called up the next applicant. They talked for a while and then he asked him "Will you make a sentence with the word 'great' in it?"
Without any hesitation the applicant says "I have a leather jacket and I think it's really great!!"
The man realizes that they're catching on, so he calls the next applicant in. They talk for a while and then he says "I would like you to make a sentence", the applicant cuts him off
"with GREAT!"
"no, actually I would like you to make a sentence with the word 'fascinate'"
"Not Great?"
"No, fascinate."
The applicant pauses for some time.. then he replies

"I have a leather jacket, and I think it's really great. It has 11 buttons, but I only fasten eight."

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You know you teach in a rough neighborhood when...

You ask the class what comes after a sentence and they say, "you make an appeal."

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Customer Support

A foreign man applied for a job as an outsourced customer support representative. At the end of his interview, the company hiring him was very impressed.

"Well Mujibar, we really think you'd make a great employee, we just have one more test for you to pass the interview. We need you to use the words 'green,' 'pink,' and 'yellow' all in the same sentence.

He thought for a moment, and in a thick foreign accent he said "The phone goes 'green, green,' and I pink it up and say 'Yellow, this is Mujibar, how may I help you today?'"

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Make me happy and sad with one sentence

A wife and a husband lies in bed and the man asks : wife, I bet you can't make me with one sentence happy and sad at the same time...

The wife replies that's easy : in comparison to all your best friends you have the biggest one 😅

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Asking for her hand...

A guy went to his girlfriend's house for dinner to gain her father's permission for marriage. After the dinner, she and her mother went to the kitchen while her father and the guy sat down in the living room to talk this through.

The father said, "Okay son, I understand the purpose of this visit. You have come to ask permission for my daughter's hand in marriage from me. I will make this short and easy for you so we can get this finished quickly and talk about the real, interesting stuff like that game last night, haha. So, what I want from you is to summarise in just one sentence, the answer to this question: Why do you want her hand?"

The guy thinks for a while, and then replies, "Well, sir, you see... my hand has grown kind of tired by now..."

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Hispanic Joke

Three kids are in school...

A white, a black, and a hispanic kid. The teacher tells them to make a sentence with the words liver and cheese.

White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good."
Black kid says: "Pops told mom to go get the Government cheese And she didn't, so pops punched her in the liver."

Hispanic kid says: "Some kid was trying to look under my sister's dress and I told the cabron, "Hey!!! Liver alone, cheese my sister!!"

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Bet the wife $50

That she couldn't make me happy and sad with the same sentence.

She said I was much better in bed than my brother.

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A teacher tells her students to make a sentence using the words "cheese" and "liver"...

The White kid responds, "Last night my mother made a Cheese and Liver sandwich. It was delicious."

The Black kid responds, "Last night my Dad told my Mom to go get groceries. When she came back without the Government cheese, he punched her in the liver."

The Mexican kid responds, "Last night some vatos tried looking up my sisters skirt. So I tell them, HEY LIVER ALONE! CHEESE MY SISTER!"

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What are the most funny Making Sentences jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Making Sentences? Well, here are the best Making Sentences dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Making Sentences pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes