Making Money Jokes
32 making money jokes and hilarious making money puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about making money that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Making Money Short Jokes
Short making money jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The making money humour may include short earn money jokes also.
- Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
- The kid that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
- Girls used to call me ugly until they found out how much money I make. Now they also call me poor.
- To this day, my bully that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the positive side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
- My highschool bully still takes my lunch money... But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
- Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers? Because they can wash their crack and sell it again
- If dentists make all their money from bad teeth... ....why should we use toothpaste that 8 out of 10 dentists recommend.
- Little girl: "Grandma, make a noise like a frog." Grandma: "Why?" Little girl: "Cause daddy says we'll make a lot of money when you croak."
- I've invented a machine that prints money. I programmed it to make coins, but for some reason it keeps printing dollar bills....
It makes no cents. - Indian restaurants make most of their money off of the bread.. They're naan-profit organizations.
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Making Money One Liners
Which making money one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with making money? I can suggest the ones about earn money from and saving money.
- I like making money It's a lot easier than earning it.
- What type of writing makes the most money? Ransom notes.
- How do the Lannisters save money on new beds? They push Two twins together to make a King
- What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist? By selling your guitar.
- If you make money selling Indian bread... You run a Naan Profit Organization.
- People who work in coin factories sure are lucky. They make a lot of money.
- Money is relative. The more money you make.. The more relatives seem to know you.
- How does the Hulk make extra money? He flips cars.
- How do Rabbis make money? They keep the tips.
- What do you call a religious organization that doesn't make any money? A non-prophet!
- How do shady Egyptians make money? Pyramid schemes.
- How Do Miners Make Money? By stripping or working the shaft.
- I want to be a counterfeiter when I grow up! I hear they make good money
- After Finding Nemo, how did Dory make money? She started an OnlyFins.
- Why don't U2's lawyers ever make any money? All their work is pro Bono.
Making Money Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about making money you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean getting paid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make making money pranks.
A Man asks his lover in a restaurant
Man : Honey, what do you love most about me?
Woman : I love your company the most darling!
Man : Wow really? that is so sweet of you my love
Woman : Um, it's still making money right?
*edit :forgot to mention that I remember this joke from Benny Hills show, not my own joke
*edit 2 : Benny Hills not Benn, autocorrect strikes again!
If you tell a really incredible story about making money...
It's an incomparable income parable.
A father has 4 sons in his house. 3 have a phd, but one is a robber. Why won't he kick out the robber?
Because he's the only one making money
Business is going well
A man left his home country of India to go to America in hopes of making money to support his family. He opened a furniture and l**... business and in just 3 months he had made 80,000 dollars.
So he he wrote to his wife saying 'Honey I want you and the kids to come to America, I sold 1500 mattresses and 900 p**... and business is going well!'
The wife wrote back saying 'You should come back to India, with just 1 mattress and no p**... Ive made 500,000 dollars!'
If i got a dollar for every Mitch Hedberg joke i stole
I'd be making money in a very strange way.
If I had a dollar every time someone over 40 criticized my generation
I'd be making money in a very weird way.
My wife told me I need to start making money.
Turns out you need a special type of paper.
If I had a dollar for every time someone complimented my hair
I'd be making money in a really weird way
If I got paid to play rock paper scissors...
I'd be making money hand over fist.
Motivational words from Stevie Wonder.
I have lived life through a lot of troubles and made it through each and every one of them.
Being a musician is hard and making money to support myself was even harder. Being blind didn't make anything easier, but I made due.
One thing I can say I am thankful for is.
At least I'm not black.
There was a h**... who had an appendectomy.
the doctor sewed up the wrong hole so now she's making money on the side
I tried making money flipping houses.
but they were to heavy for me to even lift.
If I had a dollar every time someone in this sub stole someone's joke and reposted it as their own....
I would be making money in a very unusual way.
The People that Work at The Mint Are Really Stingy...
It's like they're only in the business of making money!
If I got 50 cents for every math exam I passed
I would be making money in a very strange way.
A catholic church needs money...
So the council gets together and decide to start selling flowers. This business works very well until the florist across the street realized he was losing all of his business. So the florist calls in his friend Hugh Hefner and asks him to go talk to the priests. After a short discussion, they realize there are other ways of making money. Weeks later, the florist's business returns and everything is back to normal. Moral of the story: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist Friars.