Making Mistakes Jokes
117 making mistakes jokes and hilarious making mistakes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about making mistakes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Making Mistakes Short Jokes
Short making mistakes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The making mistakes humour may include short mistake jokes also.
- Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, 'Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.' We laughed about it. Then my wife said, 'Don't make the same mistake I did.'
- Why don't dolphins make mistakes? They do everything on porpoise.
I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch. - Boss: "You've got to find a way to make fewer mistakes on the job" Worker: "Ok, how about I come in later in the morning?"
- What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators? He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.
- The interview Interviewer: What do you make at your current job?
Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. - I've created a new computer that is almost human." "You mean that it can think, feel and reason just like a human would?"
"No, but when it makes a mistake it blames it on another computer." - English teacher: English teacher: Give me the opposite of this sentence: "Children in the dark make mistakes." Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children." Teacher: Get out.
- Remember past mistakes and never trust the voters to make good decisions... Southern Biscuits and Gravy was actually a finalist in the Lay's Chip Contest
- A lot of people don't know how to drive stick shift these days They keep making mistakes while shifting, it really grinds some gears
- Bob Ross famously said that "we don't make mistakes, just happy accidents"... Clearly he never played Tetris.
Share These Making Mistakes Jokes With Friends
Making Mistakes One Liners
Which making mistakes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with making mistakes? I can suggest the ones about accidentally and making excuses.
- I named my eraser confidence... Because it gets smaller with every mistake I make
- I told my mom "Make me" She said "I'm not going to make the same mistake twice"
- What do actors do when they make a mistake? They react.
- Why do vampires make the same mistakes over and over again? Because they lack reflection.
- How many people does it take to make a mistake? In your case, two.
- Sometimes people make mistakes... ...but sometimes mistakes make people
- I never make mistakes. . . I thought I did once; but I was wrong.
- People make mistakes That's why a pencil has an eraser and Katie has gonorrhea
- Confucius say..... Confucius say man drunk in cemetery make grave mistakes
- I don't ever make the same mistake twice I make it 4-5 times just to be sure!
- Making writing mistakes is in my blood. Type O.
- What do you call it when a pickle makes a mistake? A dill d'oh
- Of course Chewie would get angry when he loses a game! He makes Wookie mistakes!
- What is it called when a dentist makes a mistake? Accidental
- Its OK to make mistakes, everybody does! My parents are a great example, they made me
Making Mistakes Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about making mistakes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean getting lost jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make making mistakes pranks.
When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!
There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How much white out does Chuck Norris use?
Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the little old lady make her husband shovel the driveway? She thought she heard him begging for a snow job.
Just called to make an appointment with a psychic but she told me that I don't show up.
To make mistakes is human. To blame someone else for your problem, is strategic.
A women invites 3 military men to her house
During WW2 many families near military bases would invite service men over to their house for an evening to forget about the war, and to enjoy a home cooked meal. So a women calls the military base and says she would like to invite 3 men over but expresses that they CANNOT be Jews. Absolutely no Jews. The base commander says fine he will send 3 over on Sunday. She agreed and hanged up. On Sunday a jeep drives up and 3 black men got out of the vehicle. The women is in shock and asks the men is this a mistake? Surely this HAS to be a mistake! One of the men replies, "No ma'am, Captain Goldstein never makes a mistake."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ending It All
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left n**....
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?
It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad came into my room the other night as I was getting ready for a date
He sat me down, handed me a c**..., looked me in the eyes and said, "Son, don't make the same mistakes I did."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...
Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."
A misunderstanding
A girl is driving down the highway listening to the radio when a song comes on that she really, really likes. The DJ says the name of that song was "Hot lips and tender kisses." The girl says to herself I've got to buy that record. She pulls over and looks up the phone number for the nearest record store. She dials the number but makes a mistake while dialing and instead of calling a record store she has called an auto mechanic. The phone rings and the mechanic picks up the phone. The girl says, excitedly, "Do you have hot lips and tender kisses?" The mechanic is a little confused, but responds, "No, but I've got hot pants and seven inches." The girl responds, "Is that a record?" The mechanic says, "No, but it's better than average."
Why does the blood bank never make mistakes?
Because they're typo negative
Gift before the Prom
"I'm ready for my first prom daddy"
"Here, take this box son... And don't make the mistake I made"
"Whats in the box dad"
"...Condoms"
My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke
Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.
My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."
Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"
Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.
Why was Han yelling at Chewbacca on their first day on the Millenium Falcon?
Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!
My roommate is painting and makes a mistake...
Him: "gah why can't I Ctrl-z!?"
My inner dad: "because z is a rouge letter"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Muslim who always makes mistakes?
Errorist
They say we learn from our mistakes...
That's why I'm making as many as possible.
I'll soon be a genius!
I make spelling mistakes alot
and when I say alot I mean a lot.
Almost Human.
X: "I have invented a computer that's almost human."
Y: "You mean, it can think?"
X: "No. But when it makes a mistake, it can put the blame on another computer."
A student makes a mistake on his Morse Code exam...
...but he refused to correct it, showing no re-Morse.
How to get a job...
Interviewer: "What's your biggest weakness?"
Interviewee: "I never learn from my mistakes"
Interviewer: "Oh, why's that?"
Interviewee: "I never make any"
A teacher asked me why my daughter's name was so weird...
She asked why I had spelled it like E.M.M.A instead of just Emma, and I said that it describes the phrase that I told people when I let them know my SO was pregnant,
"Everyone. Makes. Mistakes. Alright?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Riding a motorcycle is like having s**... without a c**....
It does feel great at the time, but if you make a mistake it's really really bad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Ms. Frizzle get fired from teaching s**... Ed?
She told the class to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Bob Ross not use a c**...?
Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents.
The Patriots are like the "German Engineering" of NFL teams
But even the Germans make mistakes
5% of the time I make typing mistakes while messaging english speaking friends and 95% the German auto-correction will just..
Flicken es...
As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold...
I nodded knowingly. It's the early signs of typothermia.
My wife has been keeping secrets from me.
I just built a fence and put down some paving. Turns out not only is she a master carpenter she's also an expert brick layer. If only I had known earlier I could have sought her advice before I did the work. It would have saved me from making all the obvious mistakes she pointed out after the work was done.
Doctors make the best spouses.
They admit everything, even their own mistakes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about when Bob Ross was having s**... with his wife?
The c**... broke and he ended up making a happy little ~~mistake~~ accident
What mistake did Paul, George and Ringo make when John Died?
They didn't come together right then over him
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I made a lot of s**... mistakes as a kid.
Now that I'm an adult, I'm making far more advanced and complex mistakes.
"We all make mistakes"
Quoting your parents during pregnancy.
I came second in a pasta making competition
I would have won if it wasn't for a Fusilli mistakes!
Halloween jokes
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Boo boos.
Whay do you call wood that's scared?
Petrified.
Guys, why all the hate for Ajit Pai? He just made a mistake.
You can't blame him. Making mistakes runs in the family.
I just left an abusive relationship...
Even though I beat her she still kept making mistakes!
Do you know what they say about Bomb Disposal Operators?
They only make one mistake in their whole life.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When interviewer asks you what you make at your current job
Apparently they don't expect you to say s**... mistakes and inappropriate comments.
Hush, Little Actuary!
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night, he says.
Have you tried counting sheep? asks the doctor.
That's the problem. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.
Business lessons: Ending your contract with a specialist logistics company in favour of going with the lowest bidder is...
One of the Bidvest mistakes you can make.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chinese guy making a mistake in the elevator
Wong on so many levels
They fired my friend, doctor, for sleeping with his patient
After 7 years of studying, they fired my friend, doctor. He slept with his patient and can no longer carry out his profession for this. So much effort, time, money, and hop, it's just a one little mistake that makes you lose everything. Dave, I stand by you, you are still a wonderful person and an excellent veterinarian for me!
I accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat the other day.
So, immediately, I went and knocked on her door, and I said, "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am; I think I've killed your cat. To make amends for this tragic mistake, I'll replace him if you'd like."
She said, "That's very noble of you, but how are you at catching mice?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the difference between s**... and writing?
When having s**... you need the rubber before you make the mistake
What Does Thanos Say When He Makes A Mistake?
Oh Snap.
A boy went to his father:
Daddy, why don't I have any brothers or sisters?
Well, son, when I was a little boy, just like you, my mom used to tell me that it is alright to make mistakes, as long as you don't make them again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I was making an account for a dating site.
It asked me about s**..., and the options were male or female . I think they made a mistake. The options should have been yes or no .
What's the difference between a child and a CEO?
When a child makes a mistake, they can still be taught to sincerely apologize.
Me, after making the 127th mistake at work: I learn from my mistakes.
Coworker: Then you \*should\* be a genius.
I make a lot of mistakes when I type, and the subject matter is often morose...
probably because I'm typO-negative
My 4 year olds unintentional joke
Dad now don't you make a mistake on the grill or you'll get fired
What does a rapper call it when he makes a mistake?
A lil oopsie vert
Went to my Roman neighbour's 30th birthday party wearing practically nothing
Won't be making THAT mistake again...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ever since Donald Trump took office people have been comparing him to h**....
I think that's a horrible mistake to make. h**... actually accomplished something.
Why are some parents so overprotective?
Because they don't want to make another mistake.
Its human to make a mistake
Unless it's on CAPTCHA
Wy do vampire's keep making the same mistake?
They lack self - reflection
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My s**... life is like the show Magic Schoolbus
I take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.
Also, it's completely fictional.
Morticians have to be....
Morticians have to be careful to spell the name right to avoid making a grave mistake.
What did the vampire hunter say to his dying partner?
What? I'm sorry but everyone makes mistakes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whenever I make spelling mistakes
I just want to ball up in the f**... position.
My advice to Jussie Smollett is everyone makes mistakes...
Don't beat yourself up over it!