The Best 68 Making A Sandwich Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Making A Sandwich jokes. There are some making a sandwich blt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these making a sandwich knuckle puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Making A Sandwich Jokes and Puns
What does the highest paid WNBA player make?
Sandwiches.
A teacher tells her students to make a sentence using the words "cheese" and "liver"...
The White kid responds, "Last night my mother made a Cheese and Liver sandwich. It was delicious."
The Black kid responds, "Last night my Dad told my Mom to go get groceries. When she came back without the Government cheese, he punched her in the liver."
The Mexican kid responds, "Last night some vatos tried looking up my sisters skirt. So I tell them, HEY LIVER ALONE! CHEESE MY SISTER!"
What do you call the electronic process of making a sandwich?
A sub routine.
A woman says to her cat "Go and make me a sandwich"
The cat says "Me? how?"
As I went to reach for the largest cucumber....
As I went to reach for the largest cucumber in the supermarket a woman also went to grab it.
"Oh yeah, I bet I know why you want the biggest one," I winked.
"You've got me," she giggled, "do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?"
"No thanks," I replied, "I've got better things to do with my time than stand watching a woman make sandwiches."
Guy walks passed a bar with a sign "$5 sandwiches, $20 handjob"
..and then walks inside. He walks up to the bar and see's a smoking female hot bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes"
"Okay good, wash your hands and make me a sandwich".
Does anyone else love thick sandwiches with three slices of bread and two layers of filling?
We should make a club.
I bought some chicken earlier to make sandwiches.
Why do feminist picnics suck?
Because no one ever makes sandwiches.
If your ex wife, and ex mother in law were drowning and you could only save one.. What kind of sandwich would you make?
Sandwich making
Two brothers shared a bedroom, bunk beds. The older brother had the top bunk. He wanted to bring his girlfriend over to spend the night. He tells his girlfriend if she wants it faster say lettuce, harder say tomato.
The younger brother wakes up hearing, "lettuce, tomato, lettuce, lettuce, tomato." He yells up to his older brother and says, "I know you guys are making sandwiches up there but can you stop dropping the mayo!"
You can explore making a sandwich sense reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean making a sandwich provolone dad jokes. There are also making a sandwich puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If Kanye West and Justin Beiber were drowning, and you only save one of them...
What kind of a sandwich would you make?
Did you hear about the chemist who died of lead poisoning?
He tried to make himself a Pb&J sandwich
How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.
A guys wife is in the kitchen making a sandwich when he walks in with a duck under his arm
Whats the problem with feminist picnics ?
None of them make the sandwiches.
Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?
Because she refused to make a sandwich
Hispanic Joke
Three kids are in school...
A white, a black, and a hispanic kid. The teacher tells them to make a sentence with the words liver and cheese.
White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good."
Black kid says: "Pops told mom to go get the Government cheese And she didn't, so pops punched her in the liver."
Hispanic kid says: "Some kid was trying to look under my sister's dress and I told the cabron, "Hey!!! Liver alone, cheese my sister!!"
I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today.
I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead.
TIFU by making my husband the wrong sandwich
Oops, wrong sub!
How many feminists does it take to make a sandwich?
12
One to make the sandwich,
One to excoriate men for creating hunger,
One to blame men for inventing such a laborious recipe,
One to suggest the whole "putting meat in between two non-consenting flaps of bread" bit to be too "rape-like",
One to deconstruct the Bologna sausage itself as being phallic,
One to blame men for not making the sandwich,
One to blame men for trying to make the sandwich instead of letting a woman do it,
One to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from eating,
One to blame men for creating a society where women make too many sandwiches,
One to advocate that sandwich makers should have wage parity with Michelin star chefs,
One to alert the media that women are now "out-sandwiching" men,
And one to take pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.
Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?
because they all refused to make sandwiches.
What do you call an Aligator that makes sandwiches?
A deligator.
What's the diffrence between a...
What's the difference between a hockey player and a feminist?
After three periods the hockey player takes a shower.
How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her that you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.
If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one...
What type of sandwich would you make?
Man walks into a bar...
A man walk into a bar and sees Loretta, a forty-something waitress smoking behind the bar. On the bar is a sign that reads, "Cheese sandwiches: $5.00. Hand jobs: $10.00." Man says to Loretta, "Here's ten dollars. Go wash your hands and make me two cheese sandwiches."
Did you hear about the feminist picnic?
Yeah, apparently it got cancelled, no one wanted to make the sandwiches.
What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?
*Make me one with everything*
Mommy, could you please make me a sandwich?
Don't call me mommy just because I slept with your father!
So what am I supposed to call you?
Just call me Steve, like everybody else.
My highschool bully still takes my lunch money...
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
How many men do a feminist need to make her sandwich?
two. One from front and another from behind.
If a feminist makes herself a sandwich..
Is she oppressing herself?
Bring it on.
The biggest question of our generation...
Who makes the sandwich in a lesbian relationship?
The Women's March is organising a strike day where women won't do anything
Thank god I know how to make sandwiches
How do you confuse a feminist
Tell her you won't let her make a sandwich for you because she is female
Give a man a fish...
And he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to Phish and he'll make grill cheese sandwiches on your lawn for a week.
Wife and husband are in the living room.
She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.
At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.
Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.
At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see's a text message from her husband.
"Well, since you're in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich."
In a lesbian relationship, which one makes the sandwiches?
Neither. They eat out.
When I bit into my sandwich, I broke my teeth
Never ask your chemist friend to make you a PB & J.
TIFU by making my customer the wrong sandwich, giving her an allergic reaction.
Whoops. Wrong sub.
I was just fired for making an incorrect sandwich
Whoops, wrong sub
To this day, the guy who took my lunch money during school still takes my money.
On the bright side, he makes really good subway sandwiches.
Why did the feminists starve at the picnic?
Because no one wanted to make the sandwiches.
If you ever get into an argument with a girl and she pulls a knife,
Pull out ham, bread, and mayo. Instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich.
A boy asked his mum to make him a sandwich
She said 'poof, you're a sandwich'
I find Siri, Cortana and Alexa really sexy.
They may not be able to make me a sandwich, but they can order me one.
A Buddhist monk walks into a cafeteria
"Good morning Sir what would you like in your sandwich?"
"Make me one with everything"
A salesman walks into a bar and and asks the female bartender what the specials are...
She says it's $5 for a club sandwich and $20 for a bj. Salesman looks at her and and asks her do you give hand jobs? To which she responds Yes that's $15.
Salesman looks and her, slips her a $10 and says that's $5 for the sandwich and another $5 for you to wash your hands before you make it
You wanna hear a geography joke?
Bob : "Hey Tom if you're Hungary I'll Serbia a Turkey Sandwich"
Tom : "Oman that was a bad joke"
Bob : "Yemen I know"
Tom : "You Syriasly need to stop with these jokes..."
Bob : "But Iraq at making jokes :("
Mommy, can you make me a sandwich?
First, you can make you your own freaking sandwich. And second, you don't have to call me 'Mommy' just because I'm sleeping with your father.
But, but ... what should I call you?
Thomas is fine.
I went to subway with my wife and asked the girl to make me a sandwich.
She said "no problem"
I turned to my wife and said "now, how hard was that?"
A guy takes a girl back to his parents house to have sex...
The only problem is, he shares a bunk-bed with his younger brother. Reluctantly, they decide to proceed -- but he gives her the code words "lettuce" for faster, and "tomato" for slower.
As the two get into it, the boy hears "lettuce! tomato! lettuce! tomato!" coming from the top bunk. He yells out, "Guys! Stop making sandwiches, the mayo is getting all over me!"
Did you hear the one about the armless man and the tuna sandwich?
**He didn't make it.**
To this day, my bully that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the positive side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
The guy whom used to beat me up and take my lunch money in high school still takes my lunch money today.
On the plus side, he makes really great sandwiches.
Why did the scientist try to genetically sequence his chicken sandwich?
He wanted to make it crispr.
A period in a sentence can make a huge difference
Mikaela was surprised Robbie ate her sandwich
Mikaela was surprised Robbie ate her period
What are the simularities in between a sexist man and a slave owner
Somebody is making the sandwich, and it isn't gonna be them
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches...
Turns out it doesn't, it just make a lot of noise and poops on the floor.
Subway makes all their sandwiches with love.
Now if they would actually put some meat in them...
How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her that she is not allowed to make you a sandwich.
Analogies are like ham sandwiches.
I am currently making one.
A construction contractor buys a 10 foot Italian submarine sandwich to feed his crew
It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot sandwich.
He turns to his crew and asks if anyone snuck in to eat the sandwich. One by one, they all shake their heads and deny any wrongdoing. He's at a loss until one of his guys points out that the company had hired an electrician to do a bit of wiring that morning.
"Of course!" the boss exclaims, "he's the subcontractor!"
So this guy's in bed with a married woman when her husband's car gets home
She brings the guy, completely naked, into the living room and tells him to stand completely still as she covers him in white powder.
Honey, what's that? , said her husband.
Well, it's a statue. I saw the Robinsons down the street got one and I wanted one! , said the woman.
The husband bought it, and the day went on and eventually the couple went to bed.
At about 2 a.m., the husband gets up, goes down to the kitchen, makes a sandwich and grabs a beer. He goes into the living room, and tells the statue : Here you go; I spent two whole days like that at the Robinsons and nobody even offered me a damn glass of water!
What do you call a Subway manager who spends too much time helping make sandwiches up front and not enough time back in the office attending to business matters?
Counter productive.
I hate when people smoke in the porta potties at my job
It makes it hard to enjoy my sandwich
I saw my ex working at subway the other day
So I stopped in and had her make me a sandwich, for old times sake.
Subway is opening a sandwich making college in Alabama.
Everyone there is already great at making things inbred.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the making a sandwich pastrami jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working making a sandwich make piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.