Makes Sense Jokes
96 makes sense jokes and hilarious makes sense puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about makes sense that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Makes Sense Short Jokes
Short makes sense jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The makes sense humour may include short sense jokes also.
- The Queen always said her corgis were like children to her. So it makes sense that they've been given to Prince Andrew.
- My wife said, Can you have a talk with the kids on drugs? I said, Fine, but I don't make any sense when I'm high.
- Alabama has reported more deaths than births for the first time in it's history Makes sense considering family get togethers have been restricted
- Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear? It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
- Prince Andrew is going to inherit The Queen's Corgis. Makes sense with his experience in grooming.
- Animals can sense disasters before they happen. That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl.
- Saw a notice on the side of an Apple store that read, "Apply inside" And I was thinking to myself, "That makes a lot of sense... I mean, it's not going to be Orangey inside is it?"
- I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything.
- Apparently most people in The Vatican make their purchases online Makes sense. I mean, they are a PayPal state
- If you factor in Trumps ancestry, his policies make perfect sense. The German side says "Build a wall!"
The Scottish side says "Well im not paying for it!"
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Makes Sense One Liners
Which makes sense one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with makes sense? I can suggest the ones about common sense and nonsense.
- What do you call a joke that doesn't make sense? To get to the other side.
- I dated a lawyer once Makes sense.
She had a reputation for settling - You say tomato, I say tomato But it doesn't make that much sense when you read it.
- What do you call a joke that makes no sense and has no effort? A cake day post.
- They say love is like drugs, which makes sense to me. Because nobody ever offered me any.
- I turn heads every time I go to work Makes sense, I'm a chiropractor.
- If poli=many and tics are small bloodsucking animals The world makes so much sense
- Can somebody please find Ja Rule? I need help in making sense of just what happened
- What happened to the guy after he tripped? broccoli fell out of his pocket.
- punny guy If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo is it counterinuitive?
- My printer just told me it was joining a band Which makes sense.
It loves to jam. - You know what makes a lot of sense? A dollar
- Why do skunks have a mercaptan-emitting gland at their rear? That's where it makes sense.
- Roses are red Violets are violet
This makes no sense
Autistic pilot - Did you hear about the new perfume with no smell? It doesn't make sense.
Entertaining Makes Sense Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about makes sense you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean reason jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make makes sense pranks.
An 85 year old man goes to his doctor...
"Doc, I got a big problem."
"I understand you were recently remarried, is that right?"
"Yes. My new wife is 23 years old, and that's exactly the problem. She just told me she's pregnant! I haven't been a father in sixty years, and I don't know what to do."
"Hmm. Let me tell you a story that I think will help explain what's going on here: A near sighted man decides to go bear hunting. On his way out the door, he accidentally picks up his umbrella instead of his rifle. Once he gets to the woods, he is instantly attacked by a ferocious 1,200 pound bear. He picks up his umbrella and shoots it dead. Does that story make sense to you?"
"No! Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"My point exactly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It doesn't make any sense for ugly girls to play hard to get.
You're already playing hard to want.
Telegram
A dog walked into a telegraph office and said, Woof, woof… woof, woof, woof … woof, woof, woof, woof!
The telegraph operator looked at the dog. Do you know , said he, If you add another 'woof' then the cost of the telegram will be cheaper?"
The dog looked at the telegraph operator and answered, But that wouldn't make sense now, would it?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Persuading girl into having s**... with you is like spreading the butter on a toast.
It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife.
A man walks into a bar......
An Irishman man walks into a bar in New York City. He orders three whiskeys. The bartender pours him one and says, "Lemme know when you want the next one." But the man says, "I think you've misunderstood me. I'd like all three at once." The bartender pours two more drinks. The man drinks down the three drinks, pays, and leaves.
This goes on almost every night for a couple of weeks. Finally the bartender asks the man why he orders three drinks at a time, since there's no real advantage to it. So the man tells him, "When I left the auld sod I promised my two brothers that whenever I sat down to take a taste of the creature, I'd order one for me and one for each of them. That's why I order three at once." It makes sense to the bartender, so he's satisfied.
The man keeps coming back almost every night for more than a year. He and the bartender get to know each other pretty well. Then one day, the man orders only two drinks. This goes on for a couple weeks, but the bartender is afraid to ask if anything happened to one of the brothers. Finally, the man comes into the bar and only orders two drinks, again. The bartender figures he has to ask, and summons up the courage to say, "I noticed you've been ordering only two drinks for the last few weeks. Is everything allright with your brothers?" The man looks at the bartender, puzzled, then realizes what he is implying. He smiles and says, "Yes! My brothers are fine, but I've given up drinking for Lent."
Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe
A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.
He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"
The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.
"Here you go."
My girlfriend's response to a lesbian joke that I told her
Years ago I told my girlfriend a joke, it went something like this:
Me: Did you hear about the French lesbian who went back home to France?
Her: (Shakes her head no)
Me: She missed her native tongue.
After I said the punchline, she didn't get it, just sat there and looked at me straight-faced, trying to make sense of it, finally she blurts out, "They have natives in France?"
A man visits the doctor
and then he meets a friend.
Friend: Whatsup, where you been?
Man: Ive visited the doctor
Friend: What did he say?
Man: 200 Dollars
Friend: Yeah, but what do you have
Man: I have 50 dollars
Friend: I Mean whats the problem?
Man: 150 dollars
I m not sure if it makes any sense in English, but i tried
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After months of trying to come up with a joke that makes sense, my 10yo sister dropped this one on me last night.
What killed the cat?
A s**....
Mathematician joke.
A chemist and a physicist are lost in an unknown area. They see someone and decide to ask for help. "Excuse me, but can you tell us where we are?", asks the chemist. "Sure, you are here", replied the man and leaves. "That man is a mathematician", the chemist tells the physicist, "how do you know?", "What he told us is true and makes sense, but it is useless."
Telegraph
A dog walks into a telegraph office, puts $1 on the counter and says:
"Woof woof woof, woof woof, woof woof woof woof"
The operator says to the dog "Its $1 for 10 words, shall I put another woof on there?"
The dog then says "But then that wouldn't make any sense!"
A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.)
If the three legged turtle crosses the road what color is the rabbit?
Green! Because Space Jam was a good movie.
My uncle used to counterfeit pennies...
My uncle used to counterfeit pennies out of real copper, but got copper poisoning. At least, we think that's what happened, because one day he just stopped making sense.
Why did the flower with no smell confuse people?
Because it didn't make any scents!!
.
.
.
.
Get it..scents sounds like sense...sort of..so it's funny because the.. okay I'm sorry I'll just see myself out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If life was like middle school
Judge: In all my years on the bench, I have never seen a more despicable criminal. You robbed, assaulted, and tortured the victim simply for the thrill of it. Do you have anything to say before I sentence you?
Criminal: Nope
Judge: I hereby sentence you to forty years in a maximum security prison. I also sentence the victim to forty years in prison.
Victim: Wait- what? That doesn't make any sense! *He* attacked *me*!
Judge: I don't care who started it.
What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?
A! U!!!
If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)
Valeria Messalina was a powerful Roman empress, best known for her long and influential political career, and for her hobby of hanging out in brothels and prostituting herself.
Makes sense to me. If I had to spend my days with senators and rulers, I'd want to spend my nights with a better class of people, too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"
Sorry, did that not make any sense?
How about -
>"A dozen, a g**..., and a score,
>
>plus three times the square root of four,
>
>divided by seven,
>
>plus five times eleven,
>
>is nine squared and not a bit more."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The UK Government has decided to make l**... legal as a drug for weight loss
It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told Iron Man to break a leg, he tripped and broke his leg.
Oh the iron knee.
Note: I'm r**... and don't know 100% what irony is so this might make no sense.
Man, Saturday Night Live has really been going after Donald Trump lately
I guess it makes sense though, since Donald is such a sketchy guy
It makes sense why Emma Watson is in both beauty and the beast and Harry Potter
Both of the main characters are harry
My wife is leaving me because my stories never make any sense...
And that's how I saved Christmas...
A dog walks into a telegram office and walks up to the counter.
The guy at the counter says: What would you like to write on your telegram today dog?
The dog goes: woof, woof, woof woof woof woof, woof woof, woof.
The guy writes it down and says: Listen, dog, we have a special on telegrams today. For ten words we've got a special deal but you've only got nine words, we can add an extra woof for free if you'd like.
Then the dog says: Well yeah but then it wouldn't make any sense.
As a Fedex driver myself, I thought this was really funny. The punchline might not make sense to you guys though, because...
OP delivers.
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The Washington r**...' stadium being sponsored by FedEx makes a lot of sense.
Neither delivers on Sundays.
In tech support, we get asked questions that seem like common sense. Today I told a guy "CTRL-P"...
...but he didn't make it to the bathroom.
Roy Moore still hasn't conceded, which actually makes sense.
How could anyone banned from mall food courts know anything about concessions?
I was going to make a joke about water...
But it wouldn't sound good coming from me, as people say I have a dry sense of humor
It just doesn't make sense
You know how people donate a pint of blood and are hailed as a hero. I go into the clinic and donate 8 pints of blood already packaged. And then they gotta go call the police. Guess I have to find another way to get rid of my mother in law.
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A cricket is in love with a mantis
but he's terrified, because he keeps hearing that a mantis will eat the male after s**.... Nevertheless, one night the cricket gets really drunk and propositions the mantis. The two have amazing s**... all night long, but in the morning the cricket comes to his senses and starts eyeing the mantis warily.
"What's wrong?" asks the mantis.
"Well, I don't want to make this weird, but are you going to try to eat me?"
"Oh, don't worry, only the females do that."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The government reveals their new logo today....
The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a c**....
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a c**... allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of d**..., and gives you a sense of security while being s**....
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LEGIT :)
Legalizing gay marriage and m**... at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense.
Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be s**.... Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June
It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.
I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures
A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.
A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he told his wife he had slept at his friend's house. Not believing him, the wife called 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had spent the night there and the other 2 said he was still there.
Have you ever tried drinking so much alcohol, your wife makes sense?
Me neither, but I keep trying...
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It doesn't make sense that trump is a white supremacist.
Why isn't he an orange supremacist?
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A mathematician arrives at work on a bike
His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?"
"That's really curious. Imagine, I was walking down the road, suddenly that young woman comes along on this bike, jumps off, takes her dress off 'til she's n**... and says "Take what you want". So I took the bike."
"Makes sense", his colleague says, "I don't think you'd look good in a dress".
This Goat walks into a post office
And says to the Postmaster "I need to send a telegram."
The Postmaster says "OK, what is it?"
The Goat says "I need it to say, maa maa maa maa maa maa maa." The Postmaster counts the words and says "Well, for the same price, I can put 4 more "MAAs" in for you."
The Goat looks at him and says "But then it wouldn't make any sense."
Dad, why is my sister named Olivia?
"Because your mother had a massive craving for olives when she was pregnant."
"That makes sense. Thanks dad."
"No problem, Richard."
A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner.
Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Translated - hope it makes sense to you guys :)
A lot of people are roasting Cleaver on saying "Awoman"...
I mean, I know that "Amen" comes from Hebrew and means "so be it", and therefore "Awoman" would make no sense in Hebrew.
In Shebrew, however, it makes complete sense!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Anthropologists tell us Neanderthal men did not walk fully e**....
Which makes sense, given what Neanderthal women looked like.
Dog walks into a telegraph office...
Says he wants to send a message.
"Sure" says the clerk, "what's the message?"
"Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof."
Clerk says, "OK, but for the same price, there's enough room for one more 'woof'".
Dog wrinkles his brow and replies, "But that wouldn't make any sense.."
You ever heard of the short tempered doctor?
No? Makes sense, he doesn't have any patients.
My 5 year old made up a joke that I can't stop laughing at.
This joke came from my 5 year old, we have been saying knock knock jokes back and forth and he tells me his jokes that don't make sense. Today he told me this one and I don't think he realizes how funny it is. Here it is in his original wording.
*Knock knock*
Who's there?
Nobody. The man didn't answer because he is dead because he had too many birthdays.
Why is the pride lasting an entire month?
I mean it's one month straight so it doesn't really make sense…
A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"
"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."
Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"
"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."
Finally, her son walks up to her. "Those names make sense, but why am I named *Cakeday?"*
His mother sighs. "Your father believes it is the best way to earn karma."
A new product idea
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Have you decided what you want for Christmas?" the bartender asks. "Yeah, I think I really would like one of those mind-controlled air fresheners," the guy replies. "It just makes sense when you think about it."
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring...
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".
The man walks up to him and says,
"I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then asks,
"So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
The more I think about it the more Murphy's law makes sense.
The best way to get the right answer on the Internet is indeed not to ask a question but to post the wrong answer.
Man and woman are out on a dinner date.
Waiter: "What will you be having tonight ma'am?"
Woman: "I'll have the salad, no nuts please."
Waiter: "Of course."
Man: "But it didn't say it had nuts."
Woman: "I'm allergic, so I tell them just to be safe."
Man: "That makes sense."
Waiter: "And for you, sir?"
Man: "I'll have the steak, no bees please."
I was once on in a band called 1023MB
We were so close to our first GIG
(edited - XXXX MB is 1 GB. Its a binary joke and yes, it makes sense)
(edit 2 - KiB, MiB and GiB can toss it, 1111111111 )
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Father shark teaches the son shark how to eat human
"Look boy, when you target a swimming human go close with your fin out of the water. Take a few laps around the target then you can eat. Does it make sense?"
"Yes, father. Thank you." the son replayed.
"Now go find your lunch" said the father.
The guy went in one direction and came back after some time.
"Did you find someone?" father.
"Yes dad."
"Did you do what I said?"
"Yes, I found a human and ate him?"
"Did you show your fin and make a few laps around the target?"
"No. I just ate him"
"Oh boy. You ate the s**... with that human."
Why do podiatrists make great detectives?
Because they can always sense when trouble is afoot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lion notices a monkey by a river, dipping a banana peel into the water
He watches her for a few minutes, as she dips the peel, keeps it under water, and then takes it out, watches the water a bit, repeats. Finally, the lion gives up trying to make sense of the sequence.
"Hey, monkey"
"Hey, lion"
"What in the world are you doing?"
"Ten bucks and I will explain"
The lion pays her.
"Thanks. I'm dipping a banana peel in the water"
"w**..., monkey? You're the biggest idiot I've ever seen!"
"Sure, I'm an idiot, but I'm making $40 an hour."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Woman asks her friend "How are your kids getting on now?"
"Fine!" Comes the reply. "My oldest boy grew up to be a doctor, the second grew up to be a teacher, and my daughter grew up to be a lawyer!"
"What about your youngest boy? How's he doing?
"Ah. He grew up to be a thief. He lives at home with us still."
"So you let your three decent kids fend for themselves, and kept the black sheep of the family at home? Isn't that wrong?"
"No, of course not. He keeps us supported financially. The other three are all unemployed."
(Translated from Greek, sorry if it don't make sense!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish man and a Chinese man were talking.
The Chinese man is proudly telling the Jewish man about his heritage. We can trace our history back for over 3,000 years, he exclaims with pride!
We'll, that's very impressive, replies the Jewish man, but our history goes back for almost 6,000 years!
The Chinese man, after some consideration, says to the Jewish man, Well, that doesn't make any sense. What did you people eat back then?
a blonde is standing on the street buzzing at a lantern
a blonde police officer sees her buzzing the lantern, stops and asks: what are you doing, madam? The blonde answers: I'm trying to buzz my friend down but he's not answering. Blonde police officer points confused at the light of the lantern and replies: but he must be home since the lights are on!
(my mom told me this in German the other day, I hope my translation makes sense! open for corrections!)
An expectant father wants to call the local hospital to ask about his wife, who's in labour...
But in his haste, he accidentally calls the local cricket ground instead.
He asks about the situation, and the shock almost kills him.
"All is well, we've already got 3 out, there's another 7 to go, and we're hoping to be finished by lunchtime. Last one out was a duck."
(This one will make more sense to English readers, but enjoy it anyway!)
It all makes sense now
Jack: Rose! There's enough room, you can save me!
Rose: There's one thing you should know about me Jack. I'm actually 26 years old!
Jack: …
Rose: Jack?
Jack: *drifts away into the dark depths of the ocean*
It makes sense that Leonardo DiCaprio cares so much about climate change…
He just wants a world his future girlfriends can turn 18 in.