Make Me Blush Jokes
14 make me blush jokes and hilarious make me blush puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about make me blush that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Make Me Blush Short Jokes
Short make me blush jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The make me blush humour may include short blushes jokes also.
- The silver-tongued lover can always make a woman blush... ... because they're a practiced, cunning linguist.
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Make Me Blush One Liners
Which make me blush one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with make me blush? I can suggest the ones about make me laugh and make her smile.
- How do you make a triangle blush? Say "You got acute angle."
- How do you make an English Muffin blush? You nook at its crannies.
Make Me Blush Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about make me blush you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cheer me up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make make me blush pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So there's this man with a parrot.
And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a s**... new teacher at school
In grammar class, she asks who can say a sentence including an expression of politeness. Naughty Johnny raises his hand.
'I would be most delighted to make out with you Miss Campbell... and bang you, too!'
Miss Campbell blushes and yells:
'Out!'
Naughty Johnny gets his things and walks towards the door, when suddenly Miss Campbell says:
'Not you... the others!'
A cow crossing a street sees a glove in ground. All ashamed and blushing goes:
Oh my god. Who's bra is this
NOTE: It's a dad joke but I didn't know how to make a #DadJoke label. So consider yourself warned.
A man can't decide what to get his girlfriend, a florist, for her birthday.
He goes all around town in search for a gift when he discovers a lovely garden of flowers. Because his wife loves flowers, he decides to pick out a lovely bouquet of daisies, roses and dandelions. The garden is empty and lifeless when he leaves that day.
When the day of his girlfriend's birthday arrives he gives her the handpicked bouquet of the flowers. The girl blushes and says Oh, thank you honey! These flowers are so pretty! They almost make me forget that someone destroyed my garden!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A m**... in South America
A m**... in South America teaches native indigenous tribesman to English language. They paddling on a boat on the Amazon River and the m**... teaches him: "This is a river. This is a forest. These are the trees. There are leaves on them. "
Down by the river they saw a couple making love. m**... blushes and tells to a guy in the boat: They are riding a bicycle.
Native takes bow and an arrow from boat and takes a shoot at guy who makes love to an woman.
m**... is horrified: What are you doing?!?
Native responds: He rides my bicycle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Red Tomatoes
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.
The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden n**... in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
"No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."
Cupcakes.
A mother and her little girl were at the park enjoying a beautiful summer day. While they were there a young couple were getting acquainted behind a thin veil of bushes. The little girl took notice of their actions and asked her mother what they were doing. A quick blush appeared on the woman's cheeks as she brushed off the question. "Oh they're just making some cupcakes."
The next morning the little girl rushed into the kitchen where her mother was enjoying a morning coffee.
"Mommy mommy! You and daddy were making cupcakes last night!"
"Uh, yeah... How did you know?!"
"I licked the frosting off of the couch when you were done!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Man and His Son...and Puppies
A man and his young son are walking together in a park, and they stumble upon two dogs having s**.... The son asks, "Daddy, Daddy! What are those dogs doing?" to which the man replies, "Son, those dogs are making puppies." His son seems to understand.
One day, a few weeks later, the child walks in on his parents having s**.... Of course, he asks, "Daddy! What are you doing?" The man, blushing, responds, "Well, son........we're making babies."
The child then says, "Flip her over! I want puppies!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a young rabbi, who on Sabbath Eve announces to the congregation that he will be leaving for a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a silence. No one wants him to leave. Cohen, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new BMW every year, and his lovely wife with a Range Rover, to transport their children!" The congregation sighs and applauds. Feinstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands up and says, "If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a college fund to guarantee the college education of his children!" More sighs and applause. Old Mrs. Horowitz, aged 96, stands and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I will have s**... with him!" There is a silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Horowitz, whatever possessed you to say that?" Mrs. Horowitz answers, "I just asked Mr. Horowitz what we could do to make the rabbi stay. Mr. Horowitz said,"F*c**... the rabbi."