Make Marketable Jokes
40 make marketable jokes and hilarious make marketable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about make marketable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Make Marketable Short Jokes
Short make marketable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The make marketable humour may include short market jokes also.
- What's the difference between a pigeon and a stockbroker? The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
- Never let anyone tell you that you're worthless Piece by piece, I could make 50,000 dollars off of you on the black market.
- What's the one thing you need to know in order to make money on the stock market AND not have kids without using condoms? The right time to pull out.
- Apparently, an Apple computer, built by Steve Jobs in his garage in 1976, sold for nearly $1 million... Which makes it the most affordable Apple product currently on the market...
- My girlfriend doesn't like me having access to a European single market of 500 million So we had a vote and she's making me uninstall Tinder
- The Chinese premier makes a phone call to Donald Trump in order to discuss the economy "Mr Trump, what's happening to the world markets?"
"Fluctuations"
"Well fluc you Americans too" - How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber? One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.
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Make Marketable One Liners
Which make marketable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with make marketable? I can suggest the ones about making money and productive.
- Why is there no market for white tires? Because black tires makes your car run faster
- If Blizzard pulls Overwatch off the market... Does that make the fans ego D.vastated?
- I figured out how to make a million dollars on the stock market Invest two million
- Italy changes law to make all markets give unsold food to super needy keep it going
- I'm in a multi level marketing scheme and making 750k per year. AMA
- "It doesn't make any sense... but does it make a dollar?", says the marketing manager.
- How did the f**... home make so much money? They had the market coronered
Gather Around for Fun Make Marketable Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about make marketable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean produce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make make marketable pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once there were three fish who lived in a market.
Their names were Red Fish, Blue Fish, and Green Fish.
One day the Red Fish said to the Blue Fish: "Hey, I think that Green Fish is stinky."
The Blue Fish said: "You're right, that Green Fish is stinky."
And the Green Fish said: "Sorry guys, I f**...."
I'm 35 years old but because I'm an alcoholic who makes bad decisions, I have the liver of a 65-year-old.
I really don't know what to do, but I hope I can find a buyer with connections in the black market or else I'll have to just get rid of it before I get caught..
If you believe in the market...
That makes you a bull.
If you don't believe the market, that makes you a bear.
If you don't care about the market, does that make you un-bear-or-bull?
Note: first joke I've made for reddit, sorry if it's not very good.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a new drug on the market that makes teenage boys instantly gay.
The only side effect is that you feel Spacey.
An idea for a TV series
It's all about a young Irishman who makes his living collecting seaweed and herbs along the shores of Galway Bay, and his adventures as he travels to all the local town markets to sell them.
Working title: "Duffy the Samphire Purveyor"
Blonde goes to market
She sees old man selling apple seeds for $5 a piece, so she asks why these seeds so expensive, to which old man replies that the seeds make you smarter if you eat them.
So blonde buys 5 seeds and eats them, than thinks for a moment and says: I could have bought 5 pounds of apples for that price.
Old man replies: see, you are already smarter.
Blonde: OK, give me 5 more.
A Texan was talking to a rancher from Canada...
about the overseas market. The Texan was bragging about his huge herds and the vast amounts of money he was making shipping thousands of heads of cattle overseas every year to the Chinese market.
The Canadian, not wanting to be outdone, shot back, "Yeah? Well I ship that much cattle every month!"
The Texan looked at him for a moment, then smiled as he said, "Well, you got me there then. You clearly are the biggest bull shipper I ever met!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do marketers in the human body employ meiosis over mitosis when making their advertisements
Because s**... cells!
A start-up company was deciding over something to manufacture
Something local that wouldn't cost much.
They figured filtered water would fit this category.
After running it through all the bodies of the company, they decided on making bread. The water market was oversaturated.
God and it's Presidents
God recently was looking for humble person, who in an unselfish way with great self-knowledge could help God on Earth make America great again.
Bush, Obama and Trump was invited and went for the job interview with God
God asks Bush: What do you believe in? Bush answers: I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation! Very well , says God. Come sit to my right.
Next, God asks Obama: What do you believe in? Obama answers: I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all. Good , says God. You shall sit to my left.
Finally, God asks Trump: What do you believe in?
Trump answers: I believe you're sitting in my chair.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Husband and wife went to market....
Husband saw an action: "24-pack of beer for 20 €!", He quickly grabbed it and dropped it into shopping cart. Wife saw him and asked: "What are you doing?" He replies: "It's d**... cheap, 24 beers for 20 €!" Wife rolled with eyes and angry said: "That's to expensive and worthless. Remove that!" Husband obeyed her.
Few minutes later wife took make-up pack for 40€. Husband saw her and asked: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's more expensive than 24 beers! Why do you need that?" Wife:"Darling, i want that to make myself looking better and to get you in the mood for making love." Husband:"24 beers can make me h**... faster and cheaper!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Reunion
*What is Reunion?*
Reunion is when you get up in the morning and tell your wife you are going to work.
Instead you go to your neighbour's wife to make love to her.
Her husband comes and knocks on the door.
You go under the bed.
The husband enters the bedroom.
Feeling uneasy, the wife excuses herself to go to market to buy food items.
The husband takes advantage of the wife's absence to call your wife.
Your wife quickly arrives and they make love.
Suddenly his wife who had excused herself to go to the market turned back halfway forgetting the list of food items at home and knocks on the door.
You're still under the bed.
Your wife rushes to hide under the bed.
*This is REUNION*
A penguin is driving through the desert
The car begins to lurch and smoke pours from the hood. The penguin stops at a small gas station on the side of the otherwise desolate road. Luckily, a mechanic is available. "Give me a few minutes and I'll let you know what I find out" he tells the stranded penguin. So the penguin heads inside the gas station's market and buys an ice cream. He steps outside to eat it. The hot desert sun begins to melt the ice cream faster than the penguin can consume it. It makes a mess. The mechanic returns to the penguin, looks at him, and says "well, it looks like you blew a seal." The penguin responds "oh no, that's just ice cream."
A cell phone rings in a full mens locker room, the man answers the phone
He puts it on speaker.
Man: "Hello!"
Woman: "Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "I'm at the mall and i just saw this beautiful leather coat and it's only $2,000, can i have it?
Man: "Sure!"
Woman: "Oh, and i just stopped by at the Lexus dealership and saw one i really liked, can i have it?
Man "How much is it?"
Woman: "$90,000."
Man: "Well if it's that much i want it with all the features."
Woman: "Ofcourse, one more thing. I just finished talking to Sarah, and the and the house i wanted is back on the market, they're asking 980.000 for it."
Man: "Ok, make an offer for 900.000, if they don't take it offer them the extra 80k if that's what you really want."
Woman: " Thank you so much honey, love you, bye!"
Man: "Love you too, bye."
The man hung up, everyone in the locker room was staring at him in astonishment. The man then calmly looked around and asked "Ok, whose phone is this?"
Hopefully this isn't a repost, but I love this one.
A group of men are changing in locker room at a golf club. Suddenly a cell phone on the bench starts to ring, and a man puts it on speaker phone as he continues getting dressed. He says "Hello?", the woman on the other line says "Honey, it's me. Are you still at the golf club?"
"Yeah, what's going on?"
"I'm out shopping and found this great new leather coat, and it's only $500 dollars, can I get it?"
"Sure, if you like it"
"Thank you! I was also at the dealership earlier and saw the new Mercedes models, and there is one that's absolutely gorgeous, and I really want it!"
"How much is it?"
"About $80,000..."
"Alright, but for that price I want all the extra options included."
"Great! One other thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market, but they're asking for 1,500,000."
"Well, go ahead and make them an offer, but don't go above 1,250,000."
"Really? Okay! I love you, see you later!"
"Love you too."
The rest of the men in the club stare at him wide eyed. As he hangs up the phone he looks at the men and asks "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Geppetto's advice to Pinocchio.
One day Geppetto had a visit from his son and Pinocchio had a troubled look on his face.
"What is wrong my son?" asked Geppetto.
"Well... I found a girlfriend but when we make love she complains about the roughness and the splinters. She says she doesn't want to have s**... with me as much anymore." responded Pinocchio.
After thinking for a bit the old man decided that the simple solution is the best and says, "Here, use this sandpaper." while handing him a few sheets.
Pinocchio takes the sandpaper and advice and leaves.
A few days later Geppetto sees Pinocchio in the market buying stacks of sandpaper which triggers Geppetto to approach his son and ask, "So I take it your girl problems solved?"
Pinocchio turns to his father and says, "Girls?!?!? Who needs girls?!?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Magic sandals
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at s**....'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the s**... God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a s**... freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
A Chinese man goes into a bank ...
... to exchange some Chinese yuan for American dollars. The teller finishes counting the man's currency, looks up that day's exchange rate, computes the conversion and quickly counts out the American currency in twenties, "…140, 160 and" plunking down the last bill, "makes $180. Will that be all today, sir?"
The Chinese man glares suspiciously at the teller, "Hey, how come I come he'a last week wit' same amount yuan, you give me 200 dollah; I come he'a today, you only give me 180 dollah?"
The teller politely goes into the short version of how currency exchanges work and recent changes in the market.
Being mostly satisfied but still a little skeptical the Chinese man asks, "What you mean by 'changes'?"
The teller says, "I'm sorry, I should've said 'fluctuations'."
The Chinese man yells back, "*Fluctuations*? Hey, FLUCK YOU WHITE GUYS TOO!"
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80.
After that, the old rich man continued, I invested the $9.80 into a market stall so I could polish and display a lot more apples. I began making about $50 a month from then on.
Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars.