Make Her Smile Jokes
95 make her smile jokes and hilarious make her smile puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about make her smile that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Make Her Smile Short Jokes
Short make her smile jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The make her smile humour may include short make her laugh jokes also.
- An old one. What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous wreck!
I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile. - I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning. I'm not allowed to have Sharpies in the house anymore.
- Why shouldn't you rip up a dollar when someone asks for change? Because it doesn't make cents!
(Thought up on my way home, may not be original, but gave me that corny smile 🤦♂️) - Did you know you can't breath when you smile? Just kidding. Just wanted to make you guys smile :)
- Some people are like slinkies They don't have a real purpose but pushing them down some stairs will make you smile
- Lenin, on his death bed, said to Stalin: How will you rule if so many do not wish to follow you? Stalin calmly smiled at him: Don't worry, those who won't follow me, I'll make them follow you
- Honeymoon Sandwich I work in customer service and yesterday an old guy called just to share a joke with me and make me smile.
What's a honeymoon sandwich?
Lettuce alone with no dressing! - I lead a nation, It called my imagi-nation I don't know if that's original or not, But I just want to make y'all to atleast smile while this rough time.
- Everything is depressing, so you turns to making bread. A friend came around and sees what you're doing.
Hey, nice bread
You smiles feeling better.
Thanks, I kneaded that - On my cake day, a joke that always makes me smile: Where did the General keep his armies? In his sleevies!
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Make Her Smile One Liners
Which make her smile one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with make her smile? I can suggest the ones about keep smiling and smile.
- Did you know you can't breathe while smiling? Just kidding, wanted to make you smile.
- How many jokes does it take to make a Mexican smile? Juan.
- You wanna know what makes me smile? Face muscles
- A warrior's job is to fight in wars A gladiator's job is to make people smile
- My broken English makes ladies live while smiling I mean, they leave while smiling
- Putting 'not' to the end of your usual joke makes your wife smile again not
- How do you make Swiss cheese? Tell them to smile.
- Today is also Son Day if you want to make your momma laugh Hope this brings some Smiles
- Want to hear something that makes you smile? Your face muscles...
- You make me think of goldfish. Cause you're the snack that smiles back ;)
- What makes white people smile? Cheeeeeeeese.
- How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
Just say, "Fees." - Whenever you see a homeless person ...smile to make them feel at home
- How Wolverine makes babies smile Claws open! Claws open! \
- 40 and 41 always make me smile Why? Because
( = 40
And
41 = )
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Make Her Smile Jokes
What funny jokes about make her smile you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean make her wet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make make her smile pranks.
In a crowded city at a bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket...
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step onto the bus, only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, still she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
With a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this, the Texan drawled, "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
A Buddhist Monk goes into a burger place and with a facetious smile on his face he says "Make me one with everything", smirking at his own wit he pays with a $100 Note. The Monk receives his Burger in due course and little else. A touch perplexed he says "I paid with a $100! Don't i get any change?"
To which the The Cashier serenely replies; "Change comes from within."
The Buddha walks into a pizza joint and says, "Make me one with everything."
The cashier says "That'll be $12.50."
The Buddha gives him a twenty and holds out his hand for the change.
The cashier shakes his head, smiles and says, "Change must come from within."
How many sheep?
A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's s**... and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"
The bride asks her husband
The bride asks her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a v**... and I don't know
anything about s**.... Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
So this guy finishes reading a self-empowering book..
And then goes to his wife to put the knowledge to the test. so he tells her :"Wife, tomorrow morning i expect breakfast in bed, followed by some good love-making and then a warm bath...and after all this, who do you think also gets to do my hair and dress me ?" the wife looks at him, smiles, and says :"The guys at the f**... home, honey"
A man walks into a bar......
An Irishman man walks into a bar in New York City. He orders three whiskeys. The bartender pours him one and says, "Lemme know when you want the next one." But the man says, "I think you've misunderstood me. I'd like all three at once." The bartender pours two more drinks. The man drinks down the three drinks, pays, and leaves.
This goes on almost every night for a couple of weeks. Finally the bartender asks the man why he orders three drinks at a time, since there's no real advantage to it. So the man tells him, "When I left the auld sod I promised my two brothers that whenever I sat down to take a taste of the creature, I'd order one for me and one for each of them. That's why I order three at once." It makes sense to the bartender, so he's satisfied.
The man keeps coming back almost every night for more than a year. He and the bartender get to know each other pretty well. Then one day, the man orders only two drinks. This goes on for a couple weeks, but the bartender is afraid to ask if anything happened to one of the brothers. Finally, the man comes into the bar and only orders two drinks, again. The bartender figures he has to ask, and summons up the courage to say, "I noticed you've been ordering only two drinks for the last few weeks. Is everything allright with your brothers?" The man looks at the bartender, puzzled, then realizes what he is implying. He smiles and says, "Yes! My brothers are fine, but I've given up drinking for Lent."
Pilot Choice
As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.
All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.
"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose."
An old woman went on a walk looking for her husband of 50 years...
As she strolled down the sidewalk outside of the retirement home, so approached a shaking bush. When she peered inside, she saw her husband getting a h**... from old Gurt. Startled, they got up. The woman cried to her husband, "how could you do this to me?" He hung his head in shame. "What makes her so great?! What does SHE have that I don't?"
The old man just smiled, and replied, "Parkinson's."
A slightly translated Dutch joke
This is a Dutch joke where the dialog is spoken in English:
A Dutchman and an Englishman are sitting next to each other on an airplane. They start to make small talk and the Englishman asks the Dutchman what he does for a living.
The Dutchman proudly says "I f**... horses!" (f**... == breed)
Shocked, the Englishman exclaims "Pardon?!?"
The Dutchman smiles and replies, "Yes! Paarden!" (Paarden == horses)
You know what makes me smile?
f**... muscles.
One day I teased my crush in class...
and told her, "s**... for you girls, you don't know what your last name will be ten years from now because it changes when you get married. I know my last name will be Smith my whole life." She replied, "Oh, but I do know. It will be Smith." She then turned pink and looked down. I gave her a wide smile.
Ten years later, she became my stepmother.
(This joke was translated from Chinese so sorry if parts don't make sense.)
*Girl bumps into a guy at the bar*
Girl: Oh sorry about that, hi.
Guy: Oh! I shouldn't be talking to you.
Girl: Why not?
Guy: Because when I talk to a pretty girl I always make a fool of myself
*The girl smiles, taking this as a compliment*
Girl: You're not making a fool of yourself.
*The guy looks the girl up and down*
Guy: Oh yeah, you're right.
A Texan was talking to a rancher from Canada...
about the overseas market. The Texan was bragging about his huge herds and the vast amounts of money he was making shipping thousands of heads of cattle overseas every year to the Chinese market.
The Canadian, not wanting to be outdone, shot back, "Yeah? Well I ship that much cattle every month!"
The Texan looked at him for a moment, then smiled as he said, "Well, you got me there then. You clearly are the biggest bull shipper I ever met!"
A plane was going down....
A plane was going down and the captain said to the passengers "I'm sorry everyone we are going to c**... in a few minutes" The passengers looked at each other in fear. One woman got out of her seat and yelled "Before I die I want a man to make me feel like a real woman!" a man a few rows back got out of his seat and said "I will!" she smiled and ran up to him. He then took his shirt off and said "Here, iron this"
Girlfriend: Tell me something to make me feel like a woman!
She said excitingly with a smile on her face..... tell me, tell me tell me she said as she wrapped her arms around her boyfriend but the boyfriend stands quietly..she says again come on tell me!
The boyfriend holds her close, looks deep into her eyes and then moves in closer and whispers: "you don't know how to park"
Little Johnny at the playground
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
comeback is real!
A professor and a fool
A professor was walking along a very narrow hall when he came face to face with a rival.
The passage way was too narrow for two to pass.
The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said with a sneer,
I never make way for fools!
Smiling, the Gracious Professor stepped aside and with a bow replied, I Always Do.
Why is it so difficult to make a h**... smile?
They're all crabby.
I need a s**... joke about an animal, asap!
Help me make this girl at work smile. She loves s**... jokes about animals.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all on their way to heaven
One day, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were on their way to heaven.
God told them that there were 1,000 stairs to reach heaven, and on every stair he would tell them a joke. If they laughed, or even just smiled, they would not make it into heaven.
The redhead managed to make it to the 45th step before laughing.
The brunette reached 200 and cracked a smile.
The blonde made it all the way to the 999th step and burst out in laughter before God had even told his joke.
"Why are you laughing when I haven't even told my joke yet?" God asked the Blonde.
"I just got the first one!" she answered.
I went to a High School pep rally....
The principal had announced earlier that day that he would make an inspirational speech for us. At the rally, he walked up to the microphone for his speech. But, all he did was look at the crowd, smiled, and stepped down.
We were left speechless.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor
and tells him, "make me one with everything."
The vendor gives him a hot dog and the buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill.
After a moment of waiting, the buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"
The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."
One by one, a class of fifth-graders were called on to make sentences with words chosen by their teacher.
Nick didn't often participate in class, so his teacher was glad when she saw him raise his hand to give it a try.
"Nick," said the teacher, "make a sentence with the words 'defeat,' 'defense,' 'deduct,' and 'detail.'"
Nick thought for a few minutes then smiled. He shouted, "Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail!"
A married couple came upon a wishing well
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a quarter. The wife decided to make a wish, too but she leaned over too far, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says ;
"make me one with everything."
^(If this doesn't work on its own, there is an extension:)
The vendor gives him a hot dog and the Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of waiting, the Buddhist asks, "Where's my change?" The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."
A divorced couple standing in court over a child custody, the mother makes her claim and says: "I had him in my w**... for 9 months, so he is mine"
The judge turns to the father and asks: "and what is your claim?"
The man, smiling, says calmly: "Your honour, when I put a coin in the vending machine, the coke that comes out is mine or the machine's?"
Husband on second day of marriage...
...goes to the beautician who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her beautifully packed iphone 7 plus box.
She opened the box with great happiness and was depressed to see a Nokia 1100.
Husband smiled and said
' same feeling '
A man meets a girl in a bar
The man says to the girl "every time you smile it makes me want to take you home"
The girl replies "Your words are beautiful, are you a poet?"
The man replies "No I am a dentist"
Was making jokes all night but my date never cracked a smile.
Some people just don't get my dollars of humor.
Ugly Faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to have a talk with the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
Husband on second day of marriage :-
He went to the makeup artist who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her a beautifully packed iphone X box.
Make up artist opened the box with great happiness but was suddenly depressed to see a Nokia 1100.
Husband smiled and said "same feeling I had when I saw my wife this morning"
A man and a woman are making love...
...when the man notices a picture of another man on the lady's bedside.
The man panics and asks, "Who is this? Is this your husband?"
The woman smiles and says, "No... You're so hot when you're jealous!"
The man is still panicked and asks, "Boyfriend?"
The woman shakes her head.
The man is slightly relieved and asks, "Then who is it? Your father? Brother?"
The woman replies, "No..." She leans into his ear and whispers, "That was me before the surgery."
"Father, I have a confession to make. Yesterday I cheated on my wife with two 18 year old girls."
"Alright. When you get home, squeeze out 18 lemons and drink it all at once."
"And that will free me from my sin?"
"No, but it'll free your face from that dirty smile."
Two men are talking in a bar
The first says: I bet you $100 that I can pee all over the bar and the bartend will smile.
The second man agrees.
So then the first man pees all over the bar and the bartender smiled.
After the second man pays the first man, he asks: How did you make the bartender smile?
I bet him $50 that I could pee in a shot glass and not miss a drop .
Billy makes faces at the other students
After seeing Billy make faces, Ms Smith stopped to tell Billy off. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was young, I was told if that I made ugly faces, I would stay like that when the wind changes." Billy looked up and said, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
A man asked Satan...
"How can I become the best guitarist in the world?"
Satan answered, "Give me your soul."
The man was bewildered. "What if I gave you a dollar instead?"
Satan smiled. "Then I'll make you the best bass player in the world."
I'm Full of Riddles.
Riddle A:
---
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
S**mile**s because there is a mile between the S's.
Riddle B:
---
What has hands but cannot clap?
A clock!
Riddle Cya L8ter:
---
How do you make the #1 disappear?
Add a **G** to it and it's G**one**.
Bye.
What did the duck say after he finished hearing his friend tell a joke?
That really quacked me up!
I made this one up myself a couple years ago but have only told it to family...until now. Hopefully it makes a few people smile!
Four high school kids who carpooled together decided to skip school and spend the day fishing.
The next day they told the teacher that they had had a flat tire, and couldn't make it to class.
Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a pop quiz yesterday, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Once they were seated and ready, she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?"
A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret f**... via his search history...
"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.
Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"
So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "caution, I'm a maneater".
I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "excuse me, Miss... about your shirt"
She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men.. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."
I looked at her, confused and said; "That's actually not what I was going to say at all."
"Oh.." she replied as a smile started to come across her face. "What were you going to say?"
"That's not how you spell manatee."
On a cold night I walked into a bar in the Caribbean...
..I saw that the bar was filled with gloomy shivering sailors and one happy pirate. I went to order a jug or r**... and told the pirate that I could make him lose his smile and make all the others happy.
He replied that it's never going to happen.
So I took his wooden leg and threw it to the fireplace.
All the sailors were delighted and the pirate was hopping mad.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.
"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ok, so what about the third body?"
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Three bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, who had a heart attack while making love to his mistress, hence the smile." says the coroner.
Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won the lottery and spent all his money on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Sean, the Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
*My grandfather told me this one as a kid so I hope you enjoyed!*
A guy noticed his co worker was feeling depressed. So he offered him his best advice...
" when ever I'm feeling down I make time to have s**... with my wife. It does wonders."
"That's a great idea. I think I try it. I'll be back in about an hour"
An hour later he's back whistling and smiling . " Wow, you were right. I feel much better. Thanks bro!" He pauses for a minute and says,
"Oh, and by the way, you have a really nice house"
Once, a prince..
..decided to disguise himself and mingle with people to see their hardships by himself. There, he encountered a farmer who looked exactly like him. Curious, the prince approached the farmer and asked him "By any chance, did your mother work in the palace?"
The farmer replied, "No, but
.
.
My father used to work in the palace"
P.S.:This is an old Indian joke, I'm doing my best to translate it. Hope I can make some people smile:)
Ivanka Trump is walking a dog outside the White House...
A Secret Service agent sees her and says "Good Morning, Ma'am."
"Good morning." She replies.
"That's a very cute dog, ma'am." the agent says trying to make polite small talk.
"Oh, thank you. I got it for the President." She replies with a smile.
"Excellent trade, Ma'am."
A man walks in to a bar
And sees an ugly old humpback of a guy, who is constantly surrounded by women.
How to spot a millionaire, am I right? he winks and smiles at the bartender
No, Larry is a plumber, not a millionaire
Okay - so he must be extremely charming?
Larry is actually a man of very few words
Then what on earth makes him so incredibly popular with women??
I actually have no idea - every day he comes here, he just sits there quietly, drinking his beer, l**... his eyebrows..
My husband commented on the new store that is being built nearby: That's a nice looking Aldi!
I told him it just looks like Aldi others.
...
Sorry y'all. It's been such a bad day, and this little exchange my hubby and I had earlier had us both laughing probably more than we should have. Hope it makes one of you out there smile too.
A little boy walked up to the farmer watching over cows in his field.
Boy:wow! Would you look at that bunch of cows!
Farmer: Herd
Boy: Heard of what?
Farmer: Herd of cows
Boy: Of course I've heard of cows
Farmer: No, a cow herd
Boy: what do I care what a cow heard? I got no secrets from a cow.
(No punchline but my dad used to say it every time we passed cows on road trips and it still makes me smile)
A man once challenged everyone that he can answer all questions with just two sentences.
The man claimed that all questions can be answered by either "None of your business" or "None of my business".
Then a wise man came to him, and asked, "Don't you think answering questions like that make people unhappy?"
The man replied with "None of my business."
The wise man then asked again, "Do you think you are the most clever person on the Earth?"
The man simply told him "None of your business."
And the wise man smiled, asked politely, "Do you know I slept with your wife?"
An Engineering Joke.
Putin, Biden and Merkel are sitting on a beach after a summit and argue who's country has the best engineers. Putin says: " We make submarine run underwater for 5 five years. No contact to surface." Biden says: "Thats nothing. Ours run for ten years without resurfacing." Merkel just smiles. In this moment a Uboat emerges from the depths and drives up to the beach. A hatch opens, and a man in uniform pops out. He looks at the three, raises an arm and shouts: " Heil h**...! We need fuel!"
While struggling to put on the c**..., I whispered some words of encouragement to myself.
"Hey," intervened the woman, "would you like me to make this easier for you?"
"Yes, please," I smiled.
"OK then," she added, sighing. "I don't want to have s**... with you any more."
A man dies and goes to h**... where he finds himself in the middle of a tour.
The tour guide walks them to a room of people covered in scorpions and says- Here is where all of the Catholics go. He then takes them to a room where all of the people are burning alive- This is where all of the baptists go. He then walks the group into a beautiful valley where children are running and playing with smiles on their faces. Furious, the tour guide grabs his phone, makes a call and yells- The d**... mormons are irrigating again.
I told the cute girl at the grocery store that I wanted to make her mine. Was all smiles and as happy as anything...
For some reason, she got mad when I gave her a pick axe and a helmet with a light on the front.
Why snakes avoid hospitals in US?
Because it "cost an arm and a leg" to enter one !
\------------------------------------------------------
Note: this is first dad joke I write and make ... hope it can put some smiles on some of people faces .. have a good evening guys
PS : in a second thought .. I should had made it " **Why snakes can't enter into hospitals in US?** " LOL
You want to know what makes me smile?
f**... Muscles.
I made up a new word today...
"Plagiarism"
Side note: my son was assigned in class to make up a new word, definition, etc. He turned in "Plagiarism", teacher gave him a smile and full credit.
Also, this joke is totally original and not stolen without attribution.
Dumb joke
I like this joke because it's dumb and it makes me smile and is fun.
So a whale walks up to a bartender and says
WOoooOOOoooWOooooOOOOWooooWOOOOOooo
And another whale walks up and says,
"Come on Frank, let's go home, you're drunk."
It's much better if you tell it to someone while making the whale noises obviously. I think it's funny though.
Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog
Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.
Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.
Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all on the dog's b**.... The dog howls in pain, l**... off the mustard from his b**..., whining the whole time. Putin, with a victorious smile on his face: "That's how we do things in Russia: voluntarily, and with a song!"
One day, Jack's lightbulb wasn't working
He called the electrician immediately and hoped he could fix it. The electrician tried his best, but could not make it glow.
After a while, the electrician said, "There is one last thing we can try". Desperate, Jack agreed to follow his instructions. The electrician then invited 10 people into Jack's apartment, and instructed them all to put their hands on the lightbulb.
Suddenly, the lightbulb started working! Jack was stunned, and asked the electrician, "How did you do that?!"
The electrician smiled and said, "Many hands make light work."
Frank Sinatra was dining out one night when a high school lad came up to his table.
Mr. Sinatra," said the teen-age boy, my name is Bernie Rosenberg. Would you please do me a favor?
What kind of favor? Sinatra asked.
"Well, I'm here with my girl and I want to make a good impression on her. I certainly would appreciate it if you would drop by my table and say 'Hi, Bernie!'
OK, kid, I'll try, said the singer, smiling.
A little later he dropped by the boy's table, and said, Hi, Bernie!
The boy looked up at him and snapped, Don't bother me now, Frankie. Can't you see I'm busy?
