Make America Jokes
97 make america jokes and hilarious make america puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about make america that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Make America Short Jokes
Short make america jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The make america humour may include short coming to america jokes also.
- Did you hear that the US bobsled team put Donald Trump's picture on the front of the sled? Apparently nobody else can make America go downhill faster.
- Trumpty Dumpty Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall
Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the golf courses and all the white men
Couldn't Make America Great Again - How to make Americans take vaccines Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.
- Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US. Trump will make America grate again.
- Donald Trump is introducing a 30% tax on shredded cheese. It's part of his plan to Make America Grate Again.
- As an American, I am deeply offended whenever I hear non-Americans call America a nation of fat idiots . . . . . . then I remember that we had a national panic when they quit making Twinkies.
- Did you see that Sargento is going to stop selling shredded cheese? They're trying to make America grate again
- With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!
- Republicans in Congress have proposed a bill to ban the sale of shredded cheese in supermarkets across the country They want to Make America Grate Again.
- It's Trump's own fault that he lost... He spent 4 years saying, "Make America Great Again", so this week 74 million people finally did.
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Make America One Liners
Which make america one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with make america? I can suggest the ones about patriotic american and american people.
- President Trump just banned shredded cheeses. He wants to Make America Grate Again
- If the U.S. ran out of shredded cheese... we would have to "make America grate again"
- Trump did make one thing about America great again! The depression.
- We need to ban pre shredded cheese... Make America grate again.
- If the world is 3rd from sun Doesn't that make America a 3rd world country too??
- I'm tired of pre shredded cheese Make America grate again
- Trump BANS the sale of shredded cheese He wants to make America grate again
- If cows go moo and sheep go baa, what do pigs say? I'll make America great again
- If Bill Cosby is America's dad... Does that make him Canada's creepy uncle?
- How much money does it cost to make Captain America cry? One buck
- Ronald McDonald runs for president. His slogan? Make America's Weight A Gain.
- America has defeated the pandemic. By making it an endemic.
- A math teacher ought to be president... To make America integrate again.
- How do you get someone to be hated by everyone in America? Make him their president.
- Matthew McConaughey for president 2016: Make America Alright Alright Alright Again!
Witty Make America Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about make america you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean america gun jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make make america pranks.
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
My best friend got mad at me because he caught me sniffing his sister's p**...
It didn't help that she was still wearing them.
Or that his whole family was there.
That made the rest of his sister's f**... kind of awkward.
And who thought you could make the f**... for such a small child more awkward than it already was..
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
Regular Russia, not the Soviet one
Ivan and Igor are standing at a bus stop in Russia. It is freezing cold and raining hard. A limo drives by and splashes icy water all over them. Ivan says to Igor, This is a terrible place to live, I want to go to America. Igor responses, Why do think America would be any better. Ivan stares at Igor in disbelief, Do you know what would happen in America? If a limo drove by and splashed you, the rich man would pull over, apologize, help you into the car, take you to his home, make you nice drink, feed you dinner, let you sleep in his warm bed, and then, the next morning, he would drop you off where ever you wanted to go. Igor says, Really? This happened to you?! Ivan, No, my wife.
A Russian family moves to America...
...but they can't pay their rent, so the husband says to his wife, "You must go out and sell your body." The wife does and comes back two hours later. The husband asks, "How much did you make?" The wife replies, "50 dollars and 10 cents." The husband asks out of curiosity, "Who gave you the ten cents?" The wife says, "They ALL did."
Russian Condoms
One day the president of the largest c**... company in Russia is called down by his sales associate. He tells the president that they have just gotten a huge order from America for double extra large 16" condoms. The associate tells the prez that it must be a prank, so the president mulls it over for a minute and then says "Make their order, but when you mark them them for shipping, stamp them with 'EXTRA SMALL.'"
A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl......
A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his p**..., and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The r**... girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says:
'In America we have so many i**... aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
A Russian man makes a remarkable discovery
"What poor people there are in America," a man tells his comrade, "Their cars don't have hoods, their phones don't have b**..., and their wine is old!"
Did you hear it's 'National Pretzel Day' in America today?
Just making sure everyone knows it's knot bread... (thankyou Simpsons)
The highest paid female CEO in America is transgender...
...proving that men still make more money, even after they become women.
Donald Trump has just announced a massive jobs program involving tax credits for shredded cheese factories.
He says he wants to "make America grate again."
Apparently Trump wants to outlaw pre-shredded cheese...
...he keeps going on and on about how he wants to make America grate again...
Two Syrian refugees land in America...
They make a bet to see who can become the most American. A year later they meet up for coffee. The first man says " I am so American. I have a hot white wife, a daughter, a house and a well paying job. I drink Budweiser with my friends after work at happy hour. I have come to accept gay marriage as a human right. I joined a bowling league and my average is above 200. What have you done?" The other Syrian looks at him and says " Shut up t**...!"
The National Shredded Cheese Council just endorsed Donald Trump for president...
They're ready to make America grate again.
Trump wants to make America great again, Hilary wants to make America whole again.
Together, they can make America a great hole.
Breaking: Donald Trump just announced ban on shredded cheese if elected!
He says this is a crucial step toward Making America Grate Again.
THIS JUST IN: Foreign suppliers of shredded cheese on strike.
Eyewitnesses report protesting workers holding signs that read: "MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"
I'll never understand how Americans use cheese from tube or slices as everyday food...
We should definitely make America grate again.
9/11, Perfect day to make an insensitive repost
o**... bin Laden's son came home from school crying. o**... asked, "why are you crying my son".
His son replied, "today our teacher asked us what the tallest building in America is. I said it's the Empire State Building and the whole class laughed at me."
"Don't worry son, I'll handle this."
A marching band passed by this morning, shouting "Make America Great Again!"
Must be some Donald Trumpeters.
If Donald Trump becomes president, he pledges to prohibit the sales of pre-grated cheese....
Apparently it's in a bid to make America grate again!
(*I'm sorry i'll leave now*)
A liar, a cheat, and a bigot walked into a bar...
"Let's make America great again!" he said.
This nation really has gotten lazy, what with buying pre-shredded cheese and all.
I think it's time to make America grate again.
Donald Trump's first act in office will probably be to illegalize all shredded cheese.
He will Make America Grate Again.
A protestor shouted, "Trump will make America worse for g**..., Jews, b**..., Muslims, and Latinos!" A Trump supporter shouted back, "That's not true..."
"...he won't make it worse for Jews!"
I hear Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church
He's called for a ban on contraception. He wants to make America mate again
Making America great again is already happening...
Like it used to be, anyone will be able to criticize the President without being called racist.
I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink
I call it, "Make America Smashed Again"
It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice.
All this trump merchandise made me wonder
We have make America great again hats, t shirts, and socks, but I've never seen a make America great again dress. I thought for a moment before realizing that presidential matter on dresses was bill clinton's thing.
You know those slices of American cheese you get from the supermarket? You're not going to be able to buy those anymore.
Since Trump is going to make America grate again, apparently.
p**... returns to cover completely n**... pictures of girls.
Trump is in office less than a month, and already makes America great again.
The Trump administration just put a ban on all shredded cheese.
I guess they wanted to Make America Grate Again
Wow, Trump is making America great again...
Aaron Hernandez is dead, Bill O'Reilly got fired. Trump is actually getting rid of the criminals and rapists!
How to make america great again?
Make it terrible first so that returning to normal looks like it is making it great.
Apparently Donald Trump has banned all grated cheese in stores.
He's trying to make "America Grate Again"
Reposted because of grammar
If we could get Red states and Blue states to work together...
We really could Make America Grape Again.
Business is going well
A man left his home country of India to go to America in hopes of making money to support his family. He opened a furniture and l**... business and in just 3 months he had made 80,000 dollars.
So he he wrote to his wife saying 'Honey I want you and the kids to come to America, I sold 1500 mattresses and 900 p**... and business is going well!'
The wife wrote back saying 'You should come back to India, with just 1 mattress and no p**... Ive made 500,000 dollars!'
I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks.
Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.
A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn
A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn tried to swim from Norway to America on a dare. Ten miles from the Norwegian coast, the Swede gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. Fifty miles from the Norwegian coast, the Norwegian gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. The Finn had just caught sight of the American coast, when he sighed "I can't make it either..." and promptly swam back to Norway.
Two Mexicans are making an attempt to cross the U.S. border.
A border patrol agent spots them and yells out, "HEY, what do you think you're doing??"
One responds, "We're invading America!"
The agent says, "Just the two of you???"
"No, we're the last two. The rest are already there!"
-Props to John Cleese
A guy walks into a Muslim bookstore wearing a Make America Great Again hat...
As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and i**... aliens?
The clerk said, Kiss my a**...… get out… and stay out!
The man said, Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?
[Political] I'm surprised Trump hasn't banned the sale of shredded cheese yet.
He said he would "Make America Grate Again"
(Sorry, that was a cheesy joke)
Two families make a bet on who can be more american
Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet to see, in a years time, which family has become more Americanized.
A Year later they meet again. The first man says,"My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and im on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light.
How about you?"
The second man replies, "Go back to your sand country, t**..."
The campaign to re-irritate our international allies is called:
Make America Grate Again
Micheal Jackson is a perfect example of what makes America great.
Only in America could a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman.
I'm so sick of people making fun of the United States
Don't they know we're the third best country in North America?
Your momma is so fat..
That she really needs to make an immediate lifestyle change. Heart disease is the number one killer in America. There is no better time than now to make a change before it's too late.
I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese.
Part of his plan to make America grate again.
Why aren't more conservatives protesting the sales of pre-shredded cheese?
I thought we were trying to make America grate again.
Trump followed through with his plan to get rid of i**... immigrants
By making America so bad they'll leave on their own.
Disney makes female hips very big, anime makes female b**... very big
And america makes female waists very big
Why did the block of cheese run in the US presidential election?
Because he wanted to make America grate again.
Because of his loss in Wisconsin, Trump has put a ban on all shredded cheese.
It's the only way he can make America GRATE again.
Credit to my 12 year old son.
To sum up healthcare in America
An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500."
He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn.
A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200."
Mjölnir could be picked up by Thor, Vision, and Captain America
Does that make it poly-hammer-us?
Apparently loads of people turned away from voting for Trump coz he wanted to ban shredded cheese
He wanted to Make America Grate again.
Brown Pants
During the French and Indian Wars in North America, the French captured a British Officer during an engagement. Later that evening the French officers gathered and dined with the new captive.
After dinner the French commander asked their prisoner Sir, we have been wondering why British officers wear a red coat, as it makes you an obvious target for our sharpshooters . The British officer replied We wear it so that if we are wounded, the sight of our blood does not panic our men .
Ever since that day, French Officers have worn brown pants.