Make A Wish Jokes
124 make a wish jokes and hilarious make a wish puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about make a wish that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Make A Wish Short Jokes
Short make a wish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The make a wish humour may include short wishes jokes also.
- I absolutely HATE when people make a post subtly implying it's their cake day, just so people can wish them. You won't catch me doing that today.
- Genie: you have three wishes me: make math go away
Genie: ok, that one's on the house
me: yay, so I still get three wishes?
Genie: huh? - I'd like to wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day! …and make all the Americans panic.
(It's Mother's Day in the UK, for those worriedly looking at their calendar.) - Who's the only organization with a higher death rate than PETA? The Make-A-Wish foundation.
- I wish I knew how to turn off my carbon monoxide alarm.... It's been going off for about fifteen minutes and the noise is making really dizzy and lightheaded.
- Why were Gandhi's remains compressed to make piles of 50 rupee coins? he said "be the change you wish to see in the world".
- People act like PETA is the only charity that has an 85% death rate. But what about Make-A-Wish?
- I was trying to remember... The word "candle" , so I asked my daughter (23), "You know, one of those things you blow and make a wish?"
She said, "Breathalyzer'" - I wish orange was a common color option for android phones Would make it easier to compare them to Apples.
- Say what you like about the make-a-wish foundation. But they can work to a deadline. - Jimmy Carr
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Make A Wish One Liners
Which make a wish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with make a wish? I can suggest the ones about genie wish and birthday wish.
- What company is the best at meeting deadlines? The Make a Wish Foundation
- What bounces and makes children sad? The checks I write to the Make-A-Wish foundation.
- How do they pick kids for the Make-A-Wish Foundation? Natural selection.
- What is something the make a wish foundation can't give the children? A future
- What do you blow on and make a wish? A breathalyzer
- Her: What are those things you blow to make a wish? Me: Sugar daddies?
- I wish I could make jokes on socialsm. Everyone would get it.
- I wish they would make the USSR whole again It would be called the Soviet Reunion
- My kid was dying to go on our trip to Disneyland sponsored by Make-A-Wish.
- This guy told me he got a puppy for his wife... ...wish I could make a trade like that!
- I wish there was a formula to make friends. The squadratic formula.
- Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
- What do you call three Make-a-Wish Foundation kids? A genie.
- I didn't think my son would know where people make wishes. But he was well informed.
- I wish my wife worked at Subway Maybe then she would make me a sandwich.
Heartwarming Make A Wish Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about make a wish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean last wish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make make a wish pranks.
A man is walking along a beach and finds a bottle.
When he rubs the bottle, a genie appears and says, "I can grant you one wish." "Well," says the man, "I have never been too fond of flying, so could you make a highway from California to Hawaii?" The genie says, "Do you know how much of my power that would take?" The man says, "Okay, I have never really gotten girls, so could you make that happen?" The genie says, "You want that highway two lane or four lane?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys are stranded on a remote island when a native appears out of nowhere and says, "I will grant you one weapon with which to kill yourself so I can make a boat out of your skins." The first guy wishes for a p**..., shoots himself, and dies. The second guy does the same, but the third guy wishes for a fork, stabs himself everywhere, and says, "Ha! Try making a boat out of that!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish.
"
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those n**... girls in papa's computer."
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Love is like Heaven... It makes me wish I was dead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blonde genies
A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Next, there's a knock at the door, so he answers it.
Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux k**... outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck until he's dead.
As the k**... are walking away, they remove their hoods.
It's the two blonde genies!
One blonde genie says to the other, "I can understand the first wish--having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.
I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.
But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
As migration approached, two elderly vultures
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
A man was walking along the beach with his mother-in-law...
She was complaining about how much of a good-for-nothing husband he was to her daughter, when he saw a bottle on the ground. He picked it up, wondering what it was, when a genie popped out. The genie told the man he could make 3 wishes, but when he saw the mother-in-law, said whatever the man got, the mother-in-law would get double. The man thought for a while and agreed. "I would like 1 million dollars," the man said. "Your wish is granted," said the genie. 1 million dollars was added to the man's banking account, and 2 million to the mother-in-law's. She starts complaining, "Thanks a lot, now I'll have to manage all this money, why do you have to be so selfish?!" The next wish was for a large house, and that wish was granted. This meant the mother-in-law would have a house twice as big, and started complaining about how she would have to clean such a large house, and the taxes would be expensive.
For the man's final wish, he wished to be beaten half to death.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two genies in a deserted house..
A guy gets lost in a desert and stumbles upon a house s**... bang in the middle of the desert. After ascertaining that it wasn't a mirage, he enters the house and sees three doors and a lamp at the entrance of the house.
He rubs it and out pop two genies, who are very grateful and decide to grant the man three wishes.
"Before you open each of these doors, wish for what you want most and then open the door."
So he goes upto the first door, closes his eyes for a moment and then enters the room to find all kinds of riches.
He follows the same process and enters the second room and is greeted by the most beautiful women in the world all eager to please him in every possible way.
When he finally makes his third wish and enters the third room, a noose appears from the ceiling and within minutes, the man is dead.
As the two genies leave the house and traverse the desert, one of them turns to the other and says sadly, "I just don't understand. He didn't look suicidal. What was his third wish?"
To which the other genie replies, "Yeah I have no idea why he wished to be hung like a black man."
Obligatory addition: *And then the other genie fainted.*
A man stumbles across an old lamp.....
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete, how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"
I just had my iPhone stolen. I wish I thought of this before.
Best way to prevent iPhone theft? Make it look like a BlackBerry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Real Middle-aged Texting.
Man: "Fair maiden, wherest doth thou reside on this fair evening?"
Woman: "Good sir, I am trapped within the reside of mine parents"
Man: "Oh, mine love, how I wish mineself were trapped in thine reside so I could bury my face deep within thine bossom."
Woman: "Mine parents shall rest in the hour next. Upon that time, I shall make mine escape, and help you polish your sword."
Man: "Mine sword shall stand in waiting for thine touch."
What's the hardest thing about eating baby vegetables?
Convincing the nurse that you're from the Make-a-Wish Foundation.
There is a single man who is blind and poor
One day an angle says the man;
Tell me your wish and i will make it happen
- i want to see my billionare son
An Irish man finds a lamp
He rubs it enthusiastically and out pops a genie who states "Thank you for freeing me, I grant you 2 wishes" the Irishman ponders this for a while before making his first wish "I wish I had a pint of Guinness that never goes down" he says excitedly. The pint appears in his hand, he takes a swig and it immediately refills. "This is marvellous!" The Irishman says "I'll have another one of those please!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie.
''You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish,'' the genie tells her.''See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome man,'' she says.The genie agrees and – p**...! – the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The woman leaps into his lap.''Do you have anything to say before we make love?'' she asks.''Yes,'' he says. ''I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week.''
Did you hear the one about Make-A-Wish foundation giving concert tickets to the little deaf boy?
Neither did he.
Poor Kids
One Day, Charles told his father he was going to the Wishing Well.
So he flips a penny into a well, makes a wish, and walks home. "What did you wish for?", Asks the Father. "Another Penny"
they should stop calling it the "Make-A-Wish Foundation"
and start calling it the "No.... Make-Another-Wish Foundation"
Wife asks god for a better husband
Wife: Dear God , I wish you could make my husband pay more attention to me, protect me, take me out, sleep close to me at night.
I wish he would be more caring even if I got the smallest of scratches.
God then turned her into a smartphone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There have been so many recent t**... attacks in the US
It *almost* makes you wish we had some kind of national agency that could monitor people's communication and act to stop things like this before they happen
An old Jewish man dies.
His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.
He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".
A child tells the make a wish foundation.
So a child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks "what do you want more than anything" the child responds "to trade places with Donald trump!"
They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day.
So they ask trump, he obliges.
Trump meets the child and says "so you want to know what it's like to be president?"
The child retorts "no I just wanted you to have cancer"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have planned to get my revenge with Matt Damon ever since.
I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne.
Did you hear about the Make A Wish Foundation going bankrupt?
Some kid wished for more wishes.
A married couple came upon a wishing well
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a quarter. The wife decided to make a wish, too but she leaned over too far, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
The Wishing Well
A man and his wife walk over to a wishing well, the man throws a coin in the well and makes his wish.
The woman goes and throws her coin in but leans to far over the well, falls in and dies.
The man exclaims "It Worked!"
Dark Humour is like a cure....
Not everyone gets it.
Offended by that? Dark humour is like a Make-A-Wish Child.
It never gets old.
I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet
because Pizza Hut will accept all competitors' coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place: Mitch's Pizzeria -- this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza.'
A man had 3 problems...
A man had 3 problems:
1: He was very poor
2: He had no children with his wife
3: His mother was blind
An angel appeared to him and asked him to make a wish. Just one. Now his wife wants a child, his mother wants to see and he wants to be rich...
Ah, what embarrassment!
After reflecting a bit, he said wisely to the angel:
"I just want my mother to see my children eating in golden plates."
The Australian government wishes to band grated cheese
They want to make Australia grate again
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
10-inch BIC
Two guys are out fishing on a boat when one of them wants to have a smoke.
1: You got a lighter?
2: Yes. *pulls out a 10 inch long BIC lighter*
1: Woah, where'd you get that!?
2: I have a personal genie.
1: Cool! Can I make a wish?
2: Sure, just be very clear, he's a bit hard of hearing. *Summons genie*
1: I wish for a million bucks!
*The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead.*
1: Wow, your genie really s**... at hearing.
2: I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A genie grants a husband's wish
A genie grants a husband's wish, "Every time I have s**... with my wife she will lose 5 pounds."
The husband and wife have their weekly love making and the next morning the wife weighs herself and notices the loss.
With a big grin the husband says "Maybe every time you have s**... you lose 5 pounds?"
She replies If that were true I should be down 15 pounds this week.
A boy frees a genie.
"my first wish is the power to make infinite wishes come true!"
The boy became the genie.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People keep asking me what my birthday wish was...
I wished for cancer so i can make a real wish
So this guy finds a magic lamp...
This guy finds a magic lamp. Obviously, a Genie comes out of it.
*The Genie: You can make 1 wish, it can be anything. What do you desire?
*The guy: Well, I'd like to have a railroad that connects New York City and Moscow.
*The Genie: That... might be a liitle too much. Is there anything else you would like?
*The Guy: Well, if that's the case, I'd like to be able to understand Women
* The Genie: Did you want express trains as well?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wish Christian guys would make up their minds, one minute they are saying homosexuality is a sin and that s**... is evil
The next they are telling me how good it felt to let Jesus enter them.
I wish my family wouldn't go on about how bad my cooking is...
..because everytime I make dinner, they just keep bringing it up.
Guy and genie in a bottle
Guy finds a bottle and opens it. Out comes the ghost and says:
"I will grant you 3 wishes but there's a catch...for every wish you make every politician in the world gets double of that."
And the guy says: "I want a Ferrari"
Ghost: "Done, plus 2 for each politician"
Guy: "I want 10 million dollars"
Ghost: "Done, plus 20 million for each politician"
Guy: "I always wanted to donate a kidney"
My dad got me a cake for my birthday
He told me to make a wish and blow out the candles.
Afterwards, he asked me what I wished for.
I said I wished you wouldn't hit me anymore.
Then you shouldn't have said it out loud.
A man asked God if he could have one wish.
This man was very nice and good to others; however, his life was on the downside lately.
*What can I do for you my son?*
I wish I could be a God, too.
*I cannot do that. Ask me another one.*
I like to understand what women are really saying when they say 'nothing' or 'you know.'
*I'll make you into a God.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men are taking a GED test...
One says to the other, "I wish we could skip this section, I s**... at math."
The other one says, "Yea, that makes three of us."
Three T-Rexes are walking when one of them brushes against a shiny stone.
A genie appears and grants them one wish each.
The first says
"Make a huge hunk of meat fall from the sky in front of me."
The genie clicks his finger and it happens. The first T-Rex begins eating happily.
Thinking of the possibilities the second T-Rex yells
"Make a shower of meat all over the place."
Again the genie clicks his finger and it begins showering small chunks of meat which the second T-Rex begins snatching up.
The third T-Rex, not satisfied, roars
"Make the same as the last one, but make it a MEATIER SHOWER!"
So a kid with cancer goes to the make a wish foundation
Kid: I want to be a pokemon!
Staff: No problem! You will be a gastly real soon!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You're so u**... that, if you found a lamp, rubbed it, a genie popped out and you wished to not die a v**......
He'd make you immortal.
I really wish my five year old son would make up his mind! First, he said he wanted a tree house in the backyard, but now, he says he doesn't need it…
Took me twenty years to grow that thing!
So, the make a wish foundation arrives at a hospital room
They talk to the child laying there,
are you ready for the surprise of a lifetime
The kid in a raspy voice replies, So a short one?
My fridge has an annoying habit to make noise if I leave it open too long
I wish it would just chill
A little boy is crying on a bench in the park.
A passer-by stops and asks him why he is crying.
The boy says: My mom gave me a dollar to get something from the shop but I lost it, and I'm afraid to go home now!
The passer-by decides to make the kid's day and gives him a dollar - but the kid only starts crying louder...
Why are you crying now? , he asks.
The kid says: I wish I'd said five dollars now!
A man is watching tv with his dog.
He looks at it and says.
Man: I wish you could talk, then I could make a ton of money.
Dog: No one will believe you...
A Buddhist finds a Genie in a lamp
The genie says "I can grant you one wish." The Buddha says with tears in his eyes "I've always wanted to be Hispanic, and I have also lived this life of poverty. What I would really like is for you to make me Juan, with everything."
Guy finds a magic lamp
He rubs it and out comes a genie granting him 3 wishes!
1st wish: I want a stable job
2nd wish: I want to be driving a costly vehicle
3rd wish: I want to be surrounded by ladies
Genie makes him a bus driver
Baby you make me wish I was good at calculus.
Cauz they ain't no limit to how much I want to define the area under your curves.
Kids who are visiting Disneyland for the first time get a button that says It's my first time at Disneyland!
Do Make-a-Wish kids get a button that says It's my last time at Disneyland! ?
My friend doesn't believe in wishing people for any occasion. But she makes an exception on one day for me.
Happy fools' day.
3 guys help release a genie so they were granted 1 wish each
The first guy wish to become a beautiful women
Seeing how beautiful she was, the second guy wish for that women to be forever in love with him
They started to make out, out of jealousy the third guy then wish to reverse the 1st guy wish
My neighbor's been working hard during this hot summer day, so I decided to cool him off with my garden hose
I appreciate the thankful little dances his body has been making but I really wish he'd get back to repairing my power line.
An old joke I once heard from a friend, never fails to crack me up
A homeless man finds a shiny lamp by the road while trying to find a place to pass the night.
Picking it up, the man was just about to shove it in his bag when a genie appeared out of it.
"I can grant you one wish." Said the genie.
Not wanting to waste the wish, the man spent much time to think of the best wish.
"I want an apartment, make it a big one and make sure it's in downtown." The man said.
The genie shook his head.
"I can't fulfill that wish."
The man was disappointed. "I thought you were supposed to be able to do anything!"
The genie simply said: "Do you think I would be living in this lamp if I could afford a place of my own?"
So little Timmy has bone cancer.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation people come around and say well Timmy, you can see anyone you want. We'll do our best to get them.
So Timmy says I wanna see Black Panther!
The Doctor says hold on now, you'll see him in a couple days anyways. Why don't you pick someone else?
Always making up excuses isn't a good thing.
I wish i could explain why but i have broken my finger.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A recently divorced woman finds a magic lantern. The genie offers her 3 wishes but with one condition.
Every wish that is granted her will be doubled to her Ex-husband.
So to test the genie she makes her first wish for $10 million. Sure enough her Ex received $20 million.
Her 2nd wish is for 2 supermodel consorts. Again her Ex is graced with 4 supermodels to fulfill his every desire.
For her final wish she asks the genie for a MMA fighter to beat her half to death!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A gypsy man was fishing one day when
he caught a beautiful golden trout. This happened to be a magic trout, and it said to the gypsy
"Oh kind fisherman, if you would throw me back I will grant you three wishes!"
So the gypsy didn't think very long, and threw the fish back. Then he said
"For my first wish, I want to be White. For my second wish, I want to be 8 inches long... if you know what I mean. And for my third wish, make is so that all the women in the world will want me!"
So the fish said "Your wishes are granted!"
and turned him into a m**... Pad.
what's the best thing about the make-a-wish foundation?
they can really work to a deadline.
