Majority Jokes
59 majority jokes and hilarious majority puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about majority that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Majority Short Jokes
Short majority jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The majority humour may include short minority jokes also.
- I spent four years at college and didn't learn anything... It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.
- How do you tell the difference between an English major, a Math major, and a programmer? Ask them what "!" is
- Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident. All involved were rushed to the ICU
- People should really stop making jokes about major tragedies. My Dad died on 9/11... He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia...
- A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.
- What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a philosophy Major? One will ask WHY you want fries with that!
- "Why is there a Women's Studies Major, but not a Men's Studies Major" "There is a Men's Studies major, its called history"
- Camouflage training The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."
"Thank you very much, sir." - I'm in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn't even know I exist and worse… she can prove it.
- A week after the G7 Summit, they should have the C Major Summit That would resolve everything.
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Majority One Liners
Which majority one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with majority? I can suggest the ones about popular vote and mainstream.
- How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!
- What math classes do gender studies majors take? Triggernometry
- What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry? Popcorn
- My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough. Now he can hear the voices too.
- What was spider Man's major in college? Web Design.
- My wife says that I only have 2 major faults I don't listen, and something else
- What did the Arts Major say to the Business Major? "Can I take your order?"
- Why are subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"? Even art majors deserve recognition
- My friends that majored in English always tell me the same thing Welcome to Starbucks!
- What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other? Cyber boolean
- What do you get if you drop a piano on a military base? A flat major.
- To all the philosophy majors out there... Can I get a Grande Mocha with whip please?
- Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.
- What do Women's Studies majors like after dessert? A tip
- I've decided on my college major! Agriculture. I've heard it's a very large field.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Majority Jokes
What funny jokes about majority you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean percentage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make majority pranks.
This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?
A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.
The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.
I hate when people say "She's out of your league"
Just because I'm in the majors, and she's a minor. Doesn't mean it can't happen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wanted to major in reverse psychology.
My dream school turned me down.
So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their s**... program. They sent me a diploma.
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?
He was forced to resort to excessive violins.
A teen is telling his parents what he wants to major in
"I want to be a history major," he says.
The dad responds, "No you don't! There's no future in it!"
My mother and father separated last year
My mother and father separated last year and my father recently started seeing someone and it's been very hard for me. There are two major issues I have with his new partner.
He's black.
Did you hear they're doing a remake of Dumb and Dumber?
It's on tonight on every major network, tonight at 9.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are there so many grammar n**... on the internet?
Because English majors have no jobs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People compare Trump and h**... all the time, but there is one major difference.
h**... was good at making speeches
I just discovered a major difference between me and Rapunzel.
Rapunzel lets her hair down but I let everybody near me down.
Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"
The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"
"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."
A family takes their sick dog to the vet.
The vet picks the dog up and studies him. Finally, the vet says "I'm really sorry but I'm gonna have to put him down."
"Why?", asks the shocked family. "What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing major", replied the vet. "He's just really heavy."
A major difference between men and women
is if a woman says "Sniff this." it usually smells nice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My p**... smoking college roommate decided to choose Theology as his major.
He's now a high priest.
An anteater walks into a coffee bar ...
... where all the workers, naturally, are English majors and grads. "I'd like a cinnamon latte," he said, "where the cream balances the astringency of the dark roasted coffee beans and the grated spice adds a piquant warmth to the taste of the beverage."
"Why the long clause?" asked the barista, making the drink.
"For ants," replied the anteater. "You have to dig real fast to get those tasty little suckers."
Three engineers were arguing.
The mechanical engineer, the electrical engineer, and the civil engineer. They were arguing about what sort of an engineer God must be.
"Well, God must be a mechanical engineer, because look at the human skeleton. Look at all the stress it's able to absorb."
"But look at the nervous system. Look at all the wiring. God must be an electrical engineer."
"Well, God must be a civil engineer, because only a civil engineer would run a liquid waste disposal unit right through a major recreational facility."
If Major Tom flies really high up, what would you call someone very deep beneath the ground?
Miner Tom
So a recently separated veteran gets a civilian job.
He does a wonderful job, but there's only one problem: he always shows up late.
So his boss takes him aside and asks him, "Weren't you in the military? What would your leadership say if you were late?"
The veteran replies, "They'd say, 'Good morning, Sergeant Major. Your coffee's on your desk.'"
What's the difference between a homeless person and an art major?
About $4.32 in change.
My goldfish are named Major, Minor, Dorian, Mixolydian, and Pentatonic.
The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales.
Two major banks from Mexico and America are merging next month
They're calling the new company CapitalJuan
