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Majority Jokes

59 majority jokes and hilarious majority puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about majority that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Majority Short Jokes

Short majority jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The majority humour may include short minority jokes also.

  1. I spent four years at college and didn't learn anything... It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.
  2. Did you know that the majority of people don't know the opposite of these words? Always
    Coming
    From
    Take
    Me
    Down
  3. How do you tell the difference between an English major, a Math major, and a programmer? Ask them what "!" is
  4. A majority of English Speakers do not know the opposite of these words... Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
  5. Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident. All involved were rushed to the ICU
  6. People should really stop making jokes about major tragedies. My Dad died on 9/11... He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia...
  7. A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.
  8. What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a philosophy Major? One will ask WHY you want fries with that!
  9. I heard starbucks is trying to hire a lot more refugees Those poor art majors are going to suffer, then
  10. "Why is there a Women's Studies Major, but not a Men's Studies Major" "There is a Men's Studies major, its called history"

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Majority One Liners

Which majority one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with majority? I can suggest the ones about popular vote and mainstream.

  1. How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!
  2. What math classes do gender studies majors take? Triggernometry
  3. What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry? Popcorn
  4. My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough. Now he can hear the voices too.
  5. What was spider Man's major in college? Web Design.
  6. My wife says that I only have 2 major faults I don't listen, and something else
  7. What did the Arts Major say to the Business Major? "Can I take your order?"
  8. Why are subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"? Even art majors deserve recognition
  9. My friends that majored in English always tell me the same thing Welcome to Starbucks!
  10. How do you get an art major off your doorstep? Pay for your pizza.
  11. What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other? Cyber boolean
  12. What do you get if you drop a piano on a military base? A flat major.
  13. To all the philosophy majors out there... Can I get a Grande Mocha with whip please?
  14. When math majors graduate, do they get degrees or radians?
  15. How do you get a philosophy major off of your front porch? Pay him for the pizza.

Majority joke, How do you get a philosophy major off of your front porch?

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Majority Jokes

What funny jokes about majority you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dominated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make majority pranks.

This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?

A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.

The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.

I wanted to major in reverse psychology.

My dream school turned me down.
So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their s**... program. They sent me a diploma.

Four Majors...

The science major asks "Why does it work?"
The engineering major asks "How does it work?"
The business major asks "How much will it cost?"
The liberal arts major asks "Do you want fries with that?"

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

Camouflage training

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."
"Thank you very much, sir."

A teen is telling his parents what he wants to major in

"I want to be a history major," he says.
The dad responds, "No you don't! There's no future in it!"

Did you hear they're doing a remake of Dumb and Dumber?

It's on tonight on every major network, tonight at 9.

Why are there so many grammar n**... on the internet?

Because English majors have no jobs.

People compare Trump and h**... all the time, but there is one major difference.

h**... was good at making speeches

I just discovered a major difference between me and Rapunzel.

Rapunzel lets her hair down but I let everybody near me down.

Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"

The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"

A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."

They should have a follow-up to the G7 summit a week later.

They could call it the the C Major summit. Maybe that would resolve everything.

A family takes their sick dog to the vet.

The vet picks the dog up and studies him. Finally, the vet says "I'm really sorry but I'm gonna have to put him down."
"Why?", asks the shocked family. "What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing major", replied the vet. "He's just really heavy."

A week after the G7 Summit, they should have the C Major Summit

That would resolve everything.

My p**... smoking college roommate decided to choose Theology as his major.

He's now a high priest.

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

Vast majority of folks in Dubai do not like the Flintstones, but most in Abu Dhabi do.

I'm in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn't even know I exist

and worse… she can prove it.

An anteater walks into a coffee bar ...

... where all the workers, naturally, are English majors and grads. "I'd like a cinnamon latte," he said, "where the cream balances the astringency of the dark roasted coffee beans and the grated spice adds a piquant warmth to the taste of the beverage."
"Why the long clause?" asked the barista, making the drink.
"For ants," replied the anteater. "You have to dig real fast to get those tasty little suckers."

Three engineers were arguing.

The mechanical engineer, the electrical engineer, and the civil engineer. They were arguing about what sort of an engineer God must be.
"Well, God must be a mechanical engineer, because look at the human skeleton. Look at all the stress it's able to absorb."
"But look at the nervous system. Look at all the wiring. God must be an electrical engineer."
"Well, God must be a civil engineer, because only a civil engineer would run a liquid waste disposal unit right through a major recreational facility."

So a recently separated veteran gets a civilian job.

He does a wonderful job, but there's only one problem: he always shows up late.
So his boss takes him aside and asks him, "Weren't you in the military? What would your leadership say if you were late?"
The veteran replies, "They'd say, 'Good morning, Sergeant Major. Your coffee's on your desk.'"

My wife says I have two major flaws

One is that I never listen when she talks to me, and two was something else.

What's the difference between a homeless person and an art major?

About $4.32 in change.

My goldfish are named Major, Minor, Dorian, Mixolydian, and Pentatonic.

The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales.

Two major banks from Mexico and America are merging next month

They're calling the new company CapitalJuan

Majority joke, Two major banks from Mexico and America are merging next month

jokes about majority