Mainland Jokes
8 mainland jokes and hilarious mainland puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mainland that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheerful Fun Mainland Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What is a good mainland joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Three women were trapped on an island.
They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a genie who said, "I will grant you ladies three wishes." The first woman said, "Turn me into a fish" and she swam across the water to the other island. The second woman said, "Give me a boat" and she rowed to the other side. The third woman said, "Turn me into a man" and she walked across the bridge.
Exhausted, we'd been sailing for mainland Alaska for days when I was sure we spotted it ...
Alas, it was just an Aleutian
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island.
They figure out that they are 100 miles from the mainland. They decide to try to swim home. The redhead goes first, gets 10 miles, and comes back. She said it was too hard and too far. The brunette goes next, swims 25 miles, and comes back. She too says it was too far and she got tired. Finally, the blond goes. She was a very strong swimmer who swam lots of distance. She makes it 70 miles, turns around and comes back. She too said it was too far. I never could have made it all 100 .
A blonde, a Brunette and a Red Head were stranded on an island....
The island was 50 miles from the mainland and the girls all thought they might be able to swim back, so they all jumped into the ocean.
After about 10 miles, the Brunette said, "I'm not gonna make it!" And she drowned.
After about 25 miles, the Red Head said, "I'm not gonna make it!" And she drowned.
The blonde kept going, determined to survive. She made it 49 miles. She could see the shore and people on the beach, but was extremely exhausted.
Then she said, "I'm not gonna make it!" So she swam all the way back.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead escape from their cells on a prison island...
... They sneak past the guards and make it to the shoreline. The mainland is a kilometre away, through dangerous waters.
The brunette, being the bravest, leaves first. She swims as hard as she can, but after only a few hundred meters she becomes exhausted and drowns.
The redhead leaves second. She is smarter and swims more slowly, but just as she passed half way a shark eats her.
The blonde, a natural athlete, embarks on her perilous swim. Miraculously, she avoids all sharks and swims until she is only 50m from the shoreline!
Exhausted, she says, "It's too far, I can't make it!", and swims back.
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are stuck on an island 100 miles away from mainland with no communication to anyone else.
The brunette gets fed up with staying on the island with no one to save them so she starts swimming towards the mainland
she gets about 30 miles in, gets too tired and drowns
The redhead also gets too bored on the island and decides to swim for it
she gets 60 miles in and gets too tired and drowns
The blonde, now all alone with no rescue in sight decides to also attempt to swim for it.
she gets 50 miles in, gets tired, decides that she would rather wait for rescue and swims 50 miles back onto the island
There was a race between a brunette, a redhead and a blond to swim
There was a race between a brunette, a redhead and a blond to swim from the mainland to Vancouver Island, doing only the breaststroke.
After about 14 hours the brunette staggered up on shore and was declared the winner.
About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up to the finish line in second.
Nearly four hours after that, the blond finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporter asked why it took her considerably longer to finish the race, she replies, I don't like to sound like a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms!
Hawaiian joke I love, closest thing i've heard on the mainland features "a brunette, a redhead, and a blond" instead
A Hawaiian, a Japanese, and a Portagee guy are taking a break from construction on the bridge they're building. They sit down to take out their lunches they brought from home.
Hawaiian: If it's tuna salad again, I'm jumping off this bridge!
Japanese: If *I* gotta eat tuna salad one more time, I'm jumping off too.
Portagee: If I have tuna salad again, I'm gonna jump off too. I've had it.
They open their lunches and discover they all have tuna salad. They jump off the bridge.
At their funerals, their wives are weeping to themselves.
Hawaiian man's wife: If only I had known he hated tuna salad! I never woulda made again!
Japanese man's wife: I wish he had told me he didn't like his lunch! I would have made something different!
Portagee man's wife shrugs and says, "Eh, he made his own lunch."
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