Main Jokes
147 main jokes and hilarious main puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about main that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this article to get the best of Main Jokes from the Hindi and Urdu languages. Discover funny jokes related to the main character, or laugh out loud with 'Main Abhi Na Jao Chhod Kar' jokes. Plus, learn how to identify the symbols and criteria for Main Jokes from the Balkans.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Main Short Jokes
Short main jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The main humour may include short major jokes also.
- My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable. It was an autobiography...
- Doctor: You might have a phobia of marriage. Do you think you have the symptoms? Man: Can't say I do.
Doctor: Yes. That's the main one. - Why doesn't America parade its new military hardware and tanks down main street like other countries? Because they prefer to parade it down main street IN other countries.
- I feel like, in mythology, Neptune is just a copy of Poseidon Like whoever created neptune literally read what Poseidon's main powers were and was like Ctrl C
- Roe vs Wade is in the news again. Right now, it's the two main forms of Houston transportation
- My biggest fear, when I first started dating, was meeting the girl's father. But I mainly dated black girls, so it was never really an issue.
- Han Solo's diet mainly consists of protein and fat... But he allows himself one carb a night.
- How do you get a hipster to take a shower? Give them a leaky showerhead.
You know, so they can avoid the main stream. - After divorcing from my ten year marriage, I started dating again and was soon using muscles I'd forgotten I had. Mainly when I smiled.
- My girlfriend got the COVID vaccine and it seems like the main side effect is... ...that she can't stop talking about getting the COVID vaccine.
Share These Main Jokes With Friends
Main One Liners
Which main one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with main? I can suggest the ones about principal and master.
- I couldn't follow the storyline of Stephen king's It Too many Maine characters.
- I bought 75% of shares in a vampire hunting business. I'm the main stakeholder.
- What's the main use for leather in the world? Holding cows together
- Coming to work drunk, it's like a computer games Your main task is get pass the boss.
- What kinds of guns do T-Rex's prefer? ...mainly SMALL ARMS.
- I've been using Vim for 5 years... Mainly because I don't know how to exit it
- SpongeBob may be the main character in the show… ..but Patrick is the star.
- There's a lot I don't get about women The main thing being their phone number.
- Your mom is very attractive... ...mainly due to her massive gravitational pull.
- What's the main cause of emigration in Ethiopia? The wind
- What was the Ottoman Empire's main export? Sultan pepper
- I think my fuse box has a curse on it Must have been the Mains Witch
- Where do hipsters fish? I don't know, just not on the main stream.
- Hipsters never go white water rafting It's too main stream.
- The main reason everybody hates flat Earthers ...is because they're so edgy.
Main Character Jokes
Here is a list of funny main character jokes and even better main character puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- At the beginning of Naruto, the three main characters existed in a 'love square'. Naruto loves Sakura, Sakura loves Sasuke, Sasuke loves nobody, and nobody loves Naruto.
- It makes sense why Emma Watson is in both beauty and the beast and Harry Potter Both of the main characters are harry
- In what form of writing is killing the main character a good idea? An Autobiography.
- I was watching a car movie and my son said one of the main characters was a rapper Wow. That's ludacris.
- If the main character of "The Walking Dead " spared every human, would he be called... ... Pacifist Rick ?
- In the Chinese version of "Fight Club" the main character thought he had befriended a crazy anarchist. Turns out he was Wong the whole time.
- If a goose starred in Forrest Gump as the main character, what would his name have been? Tom Honks
- Who is the main character of Shawshank Redemption? Andy Duframed
- Did you know they're killing off a main character in my little pony? There's no more apple jack.
- The main character of Megalo Box is a phenomenal boxer. He's no average Joe.

Great Main Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about main you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean centre jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make main pranks.
A maintenance matter
A husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room, "Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel."
The manager responded, "Sir that's a personal matter."
The husband responded, "Idiot, the window won't open! That's a maintenance matter!"
The MAIN reason why I don't let my Girlfriend play my X-Box!!
... I don't have a girlfriend.
A couple went out to eat ...
A couple went out to eat at a nice restaurant. The waiter came over to give them the specials of the night, "For our main courses, we have a nice roasted Salmon with a Cranberry-Mustard sauce or a tender Chicken fried steak." The lady replied that she'd have the salmon.
The waiter said, "Very good, madam. What about the vegetable?"
She said, "Oh, I'm sure he'll just order the Chicken Fried Steak."
Two Zombies Are Having A Conversation..
Two zombies start talking about their past lives as humans. The main talker is rambling on and on about what he would have been. Suddenly, the second starts walking around normally, not stumbling into everything. The first is amazed and stares at him. "How.. did you do that?", he asks. The second realizes what he's doing and stops, looking back to the first. "Oh, I'm sorry. You just bored me back to life."
A man goes in for a job application...
...and the interviewer asks, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"
"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not."
"Okay," said the interviewer, "and what about your strengths?"
"I'm Batman"
Welche vier Flüsse kennt jede Blondine?
Rhein, Inn, Main, Po
What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?
Mandel broth
Ha ha ha
The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..
A fine-looking gentleman sat down in...
...the main dining room of an expensive restaurant. He ordered a big dinner and spent an hour enjoying himself.
After he was given the check, he summoned the headwaiter. "Ah, my friend," he said, "that was a delicious meal! Perhaps you don't remember that I was a guest at this same table just about a year ago. And at that time I couldn't pay the check, so you, sir had me thrown out in full view of all the other diners!"
"I am so sorry, sir" said the head waiter. "But, you understand-"
"Oh it's quite all right," interrupted the gentleman, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again."
What's the main problem with Wookie steaks?
They're a little Chewie.
(
I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
It's not her main present, just a stocking filler
I wanted to see how fast I could drive my new car down Main Street. I managed to hit 60 before getting pulled over.
Most of them survived with only minor injuries.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Father-in-law's f**...
A man was sitting next to his wife at her father's f**... when someone sitting next to him let loose a "silent-but-*deadly*" f**... during the eulogy. Without thinking, the main blurted out, "Jesus, it smells like something died in here"
Just heard Barrack Obama's main writer has been killed..
Sources reporting that he is currently speechless.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the main difference between a drag show and a drag race?
The phrase "I blew a t**..." means something totally different.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the main difference between real numbers and women?
Real numbers having period are rational.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the main difference between a man and a woman?
It's what comes to mind when they think of the word f**....
My teacher asked me what a main feature of a greek tragedy was....
Apparently Bankruptcy was the wrong answer.
A lion goes into a restaurant
He sits down, and starts looking through the menu. After a while, the waiter comes over.
"What would you like to drink, sir?" Asked the waiter.
"A glass of the house wine please." The lion responds.
"Excellent choice sir! Might I recommend the Salmon for the starter?"
"Sounds delicious!"
"And what can I get you for your main?"
"Oh, just a comb."
When Arwen and Aragorn got married...
was Frodo designated to be the Ring bearer?
*edit Thanks Kikifoun_Unui...
not my main language T_T
If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?
Seven because ice cream has no bones
Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?
He didnt use the main stream
The main lumberjack at my company does some minor computer hacking in his spare time...
...he's our key logger.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I Went To The Patent Office.
I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, "A folding bottle."
She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"
"A Fottle."
"What else do you have?"
"A folding carton."
"What do you call it?"
"A Farton."
She s**... and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.
I'm directing a film...
... And starring in it, as a shaggy groundskeeper from Northern New England who leads midnight raids on the estate's garden.
I'm the main character, mane caretaker, Maine carrot-taker.
Hillary Clinton has been frequenting a new restaurant, reports say.
I guess the main appeal of it is her own private server.
A couple are dining at a German restaurant...
A couple are dining at a German restaurant, and so far it has been awful. The appetizers were cold, the beer was warm, and the main course has been in preparation for over two hours.
They call over their waitress to complain about the appetizers and the beer, and to ask where their entrees are.
She frowns and replies, "The wurst is yet to come."
What was the main difference between the war in Vietnam and the war in Iraq?
George Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam.
Atleast there was one way that the new Ghostbusters was true to the original...
It still had a black guy as one of the main cast.
What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?
Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently attended a f**...
And the procession was going up a steep hill on Main Street. Well all of a sudden the door of the hearst flew open and the coffin fell out. Since the road was so steep it flew back down Main street and into a pharmacy where it crashed into the counter. The lids popped open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin?"
Blondes..
My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon he noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen.
After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.
Finally, he approached her and asked if she needed help.
She replied, "It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!
Member when "Member Berries" wasn't the main remember meme?
Pepperidge farm remembers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Research shows that m**... is one of the main causes of acne.
Also, acne is the main cause of m**....
Gandalf is Attending a Rock Concert...
Gandalf gets up on stage before the main act of a rock concert. He stares at the crowd, who cheer for the headlining band. "I am a conjurer of Cheap Trick!" He yells, and crowd surfs off to Valinor.
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS...
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea.
He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop.
It read… MAIN ENTRANCE.
We used to live on a very busy main road.
But after our 4th child got run over, we decided to move in to a house.
What did the Main Quest of Oblivion cost?
Two Septims.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the main benefit of being black?
No ginger kids
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to my school reunion last weekend and the main topic of conversation was still about the stunning substitute teacher…
…we had one day, in the early eighties, who gave a boy a b**... in front of the entire class.
She went down in history.
What's a cow's main source of energy?
Cowleries
What is a mainstream media award for accurate, fair and even-handed journalism called?
A pink slip.
I've just got back from an undertakers convention and the main topic was new ways of disposing of the dead.
There was a lot of thinking outside of the box.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once visited a gay s**... club in Soho, where the main attraction was a drag queen/ stripper they called Mrs.Doubtfire...
She was hung like Robin Williams.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is a country whose main export is spiders...
They have a g**... domestic product.
I suggested to my WiFi that it should main Reinhardt on Overwatch
It's great at tanking during pivotal moments.
I remember when a YouTuber's main aim was to entertain
Now they're all diss-track-ted
How does an Asian noodle say goodbye
Chow main
I invented a relish made out of my own cash.
It's my main sauce of income.
I've just bought my daughter her main toy for Christmas......
I ate the happy meal though.
Let's not forget the main victims of swatting
Houseflies
My main job is as a male nanny, but I don't get healthcare when I'm sick, I get spa days
It's because I need a Manicure!
^^^I ^^^^am ^^^^^actually ^^^^^^a ^^^^^^Nanny
I told my parents that they should pay for my health insurance
As they are the main contributers to my health issues.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The main problem with being bisexual
The main problem with being bisexual is that now there's twice as many people in the world that won't have s**... with me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Her: I want to break up. For starters, I'm sick of your terrible jokes.
Him: Ok. And for the main course?
There's been a musical written about France's World Cup Performance
The main song is Don't cry 4-3 Argentina
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lady Penelope returns to her mansion after a long weekend at Tracy Island
Upon seeing Parker in the main bedroom she commands him;
"Parker, take of my dress"
"Yes, M'lady" replies Parker
"Now Parker, take off my Bra"
"Yes M'lady"
"Now Parker take of my p**..."
"Yes M'lady"
"Now Parker if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again you're fired!"
A man decides to open up a business...
Sadly, he is located right between two other shops in the same line of business he wishes to enter. To his left, a large sign reads "Smith and Co.", to his right theres "Winstons Finest". So, after a bit of pondering, he decides to name his shop "Main Entrance"
I'm the officially the main owner of Old McDonald's Farm...
I'm the CIEIO!
Statistics are like skirts
They show us plenty of good stuff but not the main thing
What's the main problem with mansplaining?
Most women use the terminology wrong. You see...
What would be the main event at the immigrant olympics?
Cross country.
I hate when people start their statement with well for starters
and then never talk about the main course or the dessert.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know one the main reasons Jeffrey d**... got caught was because his freezer stopped working and the smell became so bad the neighbors were complaining.
The cops came to his door and said "We heard you were keeping a bunch of spoiled brats in here"
How do you maintain your dignity working as an official for President Trump?
Acting!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm killing off the main character in my book.
It's an autobiography.
There are two main reasons I don't let my girlfriend use my PlayStation.
1) I don't have a PlayStation.
2) I don't have a girlfriend.
A New research shows us that the main cause of dry skin is....
Towels.
How do 69° and 21° maintain a strong relationship?
They complement each other.

