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Mail Order Jokes

40 mail order jokes and hilarious mail order puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mail order that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Mail Order Short Jokes

Short mail order jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mail order humour may include short mailed jokes also.

  1. My dad and I(f) both ordered the same thing at the same time online. He got his before me. Mail privilege...
  2. It's hard to think about my wife, who passed away during delivery Tip: Never, *EVER* go with a mail-order Russian bride who arrives by ship.
  3. I'm starting a mail order bride service featuring women from around the world who have an STD. Amnasty International.
  4. Why should you ask a chess grandmaster to help you get a mail-order bride? They're really good at finding a Czech-mate.
  5. Just made this one up... My uncle recently ordered a mail order bride from the Czech Republic. The Czech is in the mail.
    ~I'll let myself out...
  6. What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay? One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.
  7. Did you hear about the mail-order surgery kit you can have delivered straight to your door? It's called Suture Self.
  8. I ordered a new joke in the mail... It's pretty funny, but I haven't quite gotten the delivery yet
  9. I ordered a new dish washer on black friday. - (insert generic mail order bride joke here)
  10. Mail order bride I just got a mail order bride from prague, I guess you could call her a Czech mate.

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Mail Order One Liners

Which mail order one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mail order? I can suggest the ones about postal service and mail man.

  1. So, I ordered a mail order bride from Czechoslovakia… Turns out she was my Czech mate
  2. I had to return my new mail-order guitar So I marked it "return to Fender"
  3. Where can you bid on internet mail order brides? eBae
  4. I ordered a mail-order bride from the Czech Republic Czech mate
  5. I ordered Astroglide on Amazon The mail came right away.
  6. Got a mail order bride last week Still working out the kinks
  7. I have some news about your mail order bride from Prague... The Czech's in the mail.
  8. How does a mail-order bride business improve their lead times? They switch to EDI
  9. The problem with mail-order brides... is you still have to get her ad(dress).
  10. What do you call a mail-order bride from Prague? Czech mate
  11. What do you call a mail order bride from Thailand? A she-mail
  12. So I ordered a s**... toy online. It was so good, even the mail came.

Mail Order Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about mail order you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean online shopping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mail order pranks.

Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.

The president of a popular mail-order business just died.

The f**... will be held in 3 - 5 business days.

I run a mail order bride service based out of Prague.

I had a customer call and complain the other day about his order not arriving. It was alright though, I just reassured him that his Czech was in the mail.

Earth Day

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So what are you doing to celebrate Earth Day?" the bartender asks. "Oh, already done," the guy replies. "I sent all my work related e-mails to my recycling bin."

I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.


Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Have you heard about Amazon's new matchmaking service?

Mail order brides come with two day shipping.