The Best 78 Mail Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Mail jokes. There are some mail attachments jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mail postmen puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Mail Jokes and Puns
A mailman was trying to tell a joke while transporting a package
But he messed up the delivery
The mailman
A mailman gets a new route in a rural community. Walking up to a isolated little farmhouse, he sees a woman out back getting hammered by a goat.
He looks at the kid sitting on the porch, and asks him "Hey kid, doesn't it bother you, what your mom's doing back there?"
The kid looks at him and says "NAAAAAAA!"
Guess what came in the mail today
I did, I ran out of tissue.
Did you hear about the guy from Prague wearing armor?
The Czech's in the mail.
families
so a young boy was told by one of his friends that if he told adults he knows the whole truth they'll give him stuff. so he went home and told his mom i know the whole truth. the mother responded by saying " take these 20 dollars and shut up", so the next day he said the same thing to his dad his dad said "shut up and take this 50 dollars". so the next day he saw the mail man and said i know the whole truth the mail man said " then come and give your real father a big hug.
Two women are talking and the conversation veers towards work...
One of them says to the other:
"Work is great! The jobs are challenging, my coworkers are supportive and the pay is phenomenal. But there is one problem. The mail boy is constantly flirting with me and its borderline harrasment now."
"Well, what did he say?"
"Its just the one thing, everytime he passes by me he compliments me on how wonderful my hair smells."
"That doesnt sound too bad."
"Yeah, but hes a dwarf!"
How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader?
Tell him that asylum seekers kill pedophiles.
Someone keeps sending me envelopes with cartoon dicks on them.
I hate junk mail.
What's the similarity between a bad postman and an eviction notice
There's nothing worse than the day they come in the mail
Turning 40
When my best friend turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail: UB40.
2 months later, on my 40th, I received a CD in the mail from him: U2.
What did the neckbeard say when he was handed his mail?
Thank you, mail lady.
You can explore mail gmail reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mail envelope dad jokes. There are also mail puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Just made this one up...
My uncle recently ordered a mail order bride from the Czech Republic. The Czech is in the mail.
~I'll let myself out...
Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office?
Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.
Why doesn't the postal worker's wife have sex with him on his day off?
Because mail men don't come on Sundays.
Postman told me he was going on holidays....
I asked him if it was Parcelona or Istampbul he was headed to...
Just said it was a stag do for his friend
Ah, an all mail party I exclaimed
Where can you bid on internet mail order brides?
eBae
Wet Mail
A man one morning walks out to his mailbox to get his mail. He opens the door, reaches in, and he can feel that the mail is all wet. He gets very upset that his mail is soggy and ruined. He flags down the mailman who has not made it very far and asks..
"Whats the deal with the wet mail?!"
The mailman stone faced looks back at the man and says
"It's because there is Postage Dew."
What do you call mail that likes to have fun?
Outgoing mail.
I told my son about the birds and the bees...
He told me about my wife and the mail man. I get no respect
It's crazy how sexist the postal service is.
I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.
A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar.
The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.
"Mildred, are you putting on weight?"
Lady of the House, "Mildred, are you putting on weight?"
Maid, "Well, to tell you the truth Madam, I am pregnant." Lady, "OH DEAR! How ever did you get your self in such condition?"
Maid, "Well Madam it started when I ordered a vibrator through the mail."
Lady, "Goodness! You didn't use that dreadful thing did you?"
Maid, "No Madam, the mail man talked me out of it."
In light of Google becoming Alphabet, Gmail will be replaced with "Alpha Mail."
I got a job with the Postal Service
So I could tell people I'm a mail escort.
A man gets his Comcast bill through the mail.
He calls Comcast and complains that he has an eye problem. The operator asks "what does the eye problem have to do with paying your bill?" The man responds, " well, I don't see myself paying this bill."
My Dad has the heart of a lion
and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice
What do you call a slutty UPS driver?
A mail escort
So I ordered a sex toy online.
It was so good, even the mail came.
I'm always extra nice to the guy who used to deliver my mail.
I'd hate to get into a fist fight with an ex-professional mail boxer.
How can you tell if an envelope is gay?
It comes in the mail.
Earlier today I saw the Facebook group 'kids vs cancer'
Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.
I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail...
I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back – way too expensive and really bad quality.
What's a mailmans favorite organ?
Da Liver
My wife has been around the block a few dozen times, if you know what I mean.
She's a mail carrier.
I mailed you a joke from 12 miles away at 43,200 miles per hour.
It might take a second for you to get it.
How does Voldemort seal his mail?
With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)
What are the three greatest lies?
a)the check is in the mail
b)small is beatiful
c)I won't come in your mouth
Why do feminists hate the US Postal Service?
Because it is a mail dominated industry
What's the manliest job a man could do?
Mail man.
I received a thesaurus in the mail today, but when I opened it all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
Why do feminists hate the Worldwide Postal System?
Because it is a mail focused system
Daily Mail online: "Masturbation may help prevent the common cold."
Hope so, I've got no tissues left
The mailman told me he's off to Spain tomorrow...
So I asked him if he is off to Parcelona. He then proceeded to ignore what is my best joke of 2017.
Well did you say it right? The key to a good mailman's joke is the delivery.
I run a mail order bride service based out of Prague.
I had a customer call and complain the other day about his order not arriving. It was alright though, I just reassured him that his Czech was in the mail.
Why can't you send sailors through the mail?
You try explaining to the postman why you have a load of seamen for him.
I got fired from my mail route today.
They said I wasn't picking up people's mail. I should have seen it coming though, there were red flags everywhere.
I really appreciate all the fan mail you beautiful women have been writing me.
Now go ahead and send them.
What do Mexicans send their mail in?
Envelopez.
[washing hands after delivering a baby]
That thing really didn't want to fit in the mail box.
I lost my wallet and my identity was stolen.
On the bright side, I got it back in the mail with a note.
It said "It sucks to be you."
The new mailman really sucks at telling jokes
He needs to work on his deliveries more
Two postman compete to see who can deliver more letters, what do you call the winner?
The alpha mail
I feel bad for my mail man and hope he finds a boyfriend soon
He doesn't seem too picky or anything, he's just looking for any outgoing male.
Why is it so difficult to move mail?
Because it's stationary.
The evening after they were married, Harry set Meghan to work, polishing his set of Royal plate mail.
Well, she did say she always wanted a night in, shining armour.
When Princess Meghan confronted Prince Harry about spending their wedding evening polishing his plate mail...
Harry said, "What!? You told me, all you ever wanted was a night in, shining armour!"
I just got a job with the postal service
So I can call myself a mail escort
As a mailman, I have a lot of jokes about undelivered letters.
But people just don't seem to get them.
My girlfriend left me because I'm too insecure and paranoid.
Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail.
What did the blacksmith say to the knight when he delivered the knight's new armor?
You've got mail
Me: The mail man told me he was going on holidays to spain...
...so i asked was he going to Parcelona and he continued to ignore what I believe was my best joke of the year.
Dad: Well did you say it right? The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery
When I found out sperm banks were taking deposits through the mail...
I came in a jiffy.
My test results for Herpes came in the mail today.
Finally, some positive news!
I read today that the Prime Minister of Australia receives in the mail, on average, two parcels each week that contain human excrement.
I wonder who's sending the other one?
There's radical feminist plot to attack the postal service...
They heard it was a mail dominated industry..
( Possibility OC?)
Why don't women work at the post office?
It's a mail dominated industry.
My mailman tried telling me a joke but it wasn't all that funny.
He should work on his delivery.
Johnny became a mailman after hearing how they always slept with women as part of the punchline of jokes. He figured he'd tell the jokes to mothers as he dropped of the mail and then sleep with them. He dropped off package after package and told joke after joke, but no mothers ever slept with him.
One day he asked a mother if he's been mislead by the jokes. Maybe mother's really never slept with the mailmen and the jokes were misleading.
The mother said, oh honey, it's not the jokes, it your delivery.
One boy tell the other: "There is an easy way to get what you want"
The other boy said, "How?"
"Tell people you know their secret"
The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!"
The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10"
The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"
The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15"
The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!"
The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"
How do Knights communicate ?
Chain mail
You know how to give a good mail man joke?
Good delivery
What do you call a critical horse?
A nay-sayer.
Thought of this while delivering mail in the countryside.
Where do ghosts deposit their mail?
The Ghost Office!
Why didn't the feminist want to work at the post office?
Because it's a mail dominated industry.
My dad and I(f) both ordered the same thing at the same time online. He got his before me.
Mail privilege...
Biden has a higher approval rating among female voters than Trump
However it was the Mail voters that won Biden the Election.
What do you call the cat mail delivery service?
UPSpspspsps
I went to join a health club today and saw a sign on its door that said 'Look better in 10 days or your money back.' I then wrote out a check and handed it over to the girl at the front desk.
The girl looked at me and said, Keep it. We're gonna mail it back to you anyways.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mail mailman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working mail cyber piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.