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Magnificent Jokes

30 magnificent jokes and hilarious magnificent puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about magnificent that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is about the best jokes from Carnac the Magnificent. Discovering the beautiful and sometimes lovely marble of humor, readers will find a great selection of jokes to share with family and friends.

Best Short Magnificent Jokes

Short magnificent jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The magnificent humour may include short majestic jokes also.

  1. A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"
    The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them"
  2. So a r**... picks up a hitchhiking serial killer Killer: "Turn down that dark road."
    r**...: "I was planning on it..."
    Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!
  3. Trumps election win is like his e**... He keeps on telling us that it was large, magnificent, and very hard. But we all know it was small, pathetic, and needed a little assistance to happen.

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Magnificent joke, Trumps election win is like his e**...


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about magnificent can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of magnificent puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Magnificent One Liners

Which magnificent one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with magnificent? I can suggest the ones about glorious and wonderful.

  1. I tried looking at a penny under a microscope. *...magnificent.*
  2. A scientist puts a penny under a microscope. "Truly magnificent!", he says.
  3. I think I have Alzheimer's... I don't remember being this magnificent.
  4. While exploring the amazon, an exporer comes across a magnificent spider...
  5. I met a magnificent melon the other day and really want to marry it... But we canteloupe
  6. I looked at a penny under the microscope. What I saw was magnificent.

Magnificent joke, I looked at a penny under the microscope.

Laughable Magnificent Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about magnificent you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean remarkable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make magnificent prank.

The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a c**....
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a c**... allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of d**..., and gives you a sense of security while being s**....

A Jew walks into a church to see what it's all about

Before the pastor begins his sermon he exclaims: "Jews are not welcomed in this church! All Jews must leave immediately".
The Jew gets up, walks to the podium on which is standing a magnificent statue of Jesus, picks it up and says: "come on Yossle we are not welcomed here"

I wouldn't say Scotsmen are cheap but...

A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the most expensive restaurants in The world. After the meal their waiter came over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie just g**... the check to me".
Headlines in the local newspaper next day read: "Jewish ventriloquist found beaten to death".

A plane just landed...

Little Kid: "Were almost home now they just have to park the plane."
His Dad: "Better hope they dont forget to put the parking brake on so we dont go back up."
I heard this on my plane ride and the Dad's family looked like they wanted to spit on him for his magnificent Dad joke.

California Condor

A man was in court the other day accused of shooting and killing a California Condor. The judge asked the man, "Why on Earth would you kill one of the magnificent creatures?" The man replied, "Your honor, I have been out of work for quite a while and me and my family were hungry with nothing to eat and I looked up and saw this big bird over head so I shot it down and fed my family with it." The judge said, "That is a tough story. I am sorry for your situation and I will certainly take it into consideration when I sentence you, but by the way, I am a little curious as to what it tastes like." The man replied, "It's really not bad. Kind of a mix between a spotted owl and a baby seal."

The Parrot Says ...

A black guy walks into a bar with a magnificent looking parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's awesome, where'd ya' get that thing?"
And the parrot says: "Africa."

m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.

Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When m**... swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.
A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.

Archangel Michael has just created a duck-goose with giant teeth and wants to show his magnificent creation to God.

He comes to God's presence and says: "look what beauty I made, I'm just not sure where to put it"
God thinks for a moment and says: "how about you put it in Australia with all the other nonsense you've created."

Western tourist in North Korea

So a western journalist goes on a tour of North Korea. He flies in to Pyongyang, an officially government licensed tour guide shows him around. He sees all the wonderful stores and streets that the city has to offer, and then finally he comes to the magnificent 30-story tall Kim Jong Un monument.
"Wow this is very beautiful, you must be very proud of it!" he said
his tour guide nodded— "yes, we must be very proud."

A Prince was visiting a small, unknown village wearing a fancy hat made from the hair of a fox...

The villagers asked the Prince, "That is a magnificent hat you have, what made you decide to wear it?"
"Well", said the Prince, "I was telling the Queen about my plan to visit your small village and she replied, 'Wear the fox hat?' And that's why I'm wearing it today"

[Best joke I've heard recently] A man walks into a doctors office,...

...unzips his fly and places his considerable member on the doctors table.
Unfazed, the doctor puts on his gloves and gives the man's member a routine medical examination. After some time, the doctor, puzzled says
"I... I can't seem to find anything wrong with this...?"
To which the man replies with his hands on his hips "
No, magnificent isn't it?"

A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store.


He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it.
So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir."
"How can I help you" the employee replies.
"Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?"
The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"

A priest is on a plane sitting right next to a woman. She is so beautiful and has such magnificent proportions that the priest is having a hard time keeping is eyes off of her body.

In a moment of weakness, he lays his hands on her legs and as he does, the woman looks at him, and tells him: "psalm 134:2".
Embarrassed, the priest takes his hand off of her legs and doesn't speak to her for the rest of the flight. When he reaches home, he immediately searches for his Bible and looks up the verse that the woman told him. It reads:
"Lift up your hands to the holy place and bless the Lord!"

Magnificent Niagara

I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was... "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that, etc. etc.' It eventually became very annoying.
I am from Niagara Falls and I thought I could outdo him by showing him the "Magnificent Niagara", knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this "Wonder of Water and Power".
While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes.
It was then I asked him, "Do you have anything like this in Texas?" He waited a moment before he answered, "No, but we have a plumber that could fix it."

Little Tony was the son of a well respected Mob boss.

One day, the Mob boss decides he wants to test his son to see if the boy has what it takes to lead the family business. "Little Tony," he asks. "If you received stolen money, and you were looking for a place to hide it, where would you stash it so the cops could never get it?"
Little Tony thinks for a moment, then says, "I'd put it in a casino."
Delighted, the Mob Boss exclaims, "Magnificent answer! How did you know to launder your money through the casino?"
"Well," Little Tony says, "At school, we just learned the U.S. Constitution protects us from police conducting unreasonable searches in Caesar's.

Magnificent joke, Little Tony was the son of a well respected Mob boss.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these magnificent jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.