Uproarious Magician Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?
Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...
What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?
A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.
Two magicians were walking down the street...
one turned into a store.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
My dad's a magician
Bob: What does your father do for a living?
Joe: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Bob: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Joe: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
"Uno, dos..."
And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres.
A magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says "uno... Dos..." And then vanishes.
He disappeared without a tres.
The Mexican Magician
A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres.
A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick
The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3...
He says "uno... dos..." *poof*! and disappears without a tres.
A spanish magician ...
A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.
You can explore magician witch reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean magician disappear dad jokes. There are also magician puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I once saw a Mexican magician
He pulled me on stage and said he would make me disappear by the count of three. I didn't believe. Without warning he started counting. "Uno...Dos..." and *Poof*. I was gone without a Tres.
The Spanish magician
So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three".
"Unos..... Dos...." *BANG!" in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres.
Did you hear the one about the Mexican magician?
He told his audience that he'd disappear on the count of 3. He counted "Uno! Dos!"... And disappeared without a tres.
A magician was driving down the road when suddenly...
He turned into a driveway!
A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *POOF*
He disappeared without a tres.
I went to see a Spanish magician
I went to see a Spanish magician and he told the crowd that he could make himself disappear on the count of three.
He started counting.
"Uno! Dos!"
And then he was gone. Without a tres.
A few days ago i saw an amazing magician...
When he opened his jacket and screamed Allahu Akbar he disappeared along with 30 others.
How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?
One. It's a trick question.
A Spanish magician is at a party
He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.
He disappeared without a tres.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
I am not sorry.
My Dad Is A Magician
He can turn alcohol into domestic violence... But his disappearing act is even better.
I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician...
...when I pulled a habit out of a rat.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
A girl asks a boy "What does your dad do for a living?''
He replies "He's a magician."
She asks "Is he good?"
He says "Yeah, he disappeared 8 years ago."
A Mexican magician tells his audience...
"I will disappear on the count of three."
He counts down.. "Uno... dos..."
And then he disappears, without a tres.
There was a mexican magician...
...Who said "On the count of three, I will vanish!"
And so he counted, "Uno... Dos..."
And then he vanished, without a tres.
My girlfriend is a magician...
She creates problems out of thin air
A Mexican magician tells a crowd he's going to disappear on the count of three...
He begins the countdown. "Uno, dos..." then, poof! He disappeared without a tres.
Happy Cinco De Mayo. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three
He says "uno, dos..." then disappears without a tres.
A Mexican magician once counted...
Uno, dos and vanished without a tres.
There was once a great Mexican Magician...
There was once a great Mexican Magician. He was world-renowned for his incredible feats. His most famous act, though, was his vanishing act. He would count;
uno
dos
and suddenly he would disappear without a tres.
A Mexican magician said he was going to do a magic trick.
"Uno, dos..." *poof* he disappeared without a tres.
My dad is a magician
he could turn alcohol into child abuse
A Mexican magician came up to me and said "I can disappear in 3 seconds"
"uno"
"dos"
...
he disappeared without a tres.
A magician lost a leg during his performance.
The audience was suprised he could pull it off.
A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3
He says uno, dos... then POOF, he disappears without a tres
I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.."
And then he disappeared without a tres
A magician says to his audience...
A magician says to his audience "I can make myself appear in 100 different places in this room". He says "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Nothing happens so he tries once again, "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Still nothing happens. Flustered he asks to be excused while he checks his handbook. He closes the book and says " Sorry, I've been saying the wrong magic word, 3, 2, 1, Allahu Akbar!" Needless to say his audience was blown away.
What do you call a magician without the magic?
Ian
A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos...
And *Poof*..... He disappeared without a tres.
A Spanish magician was showing a trick..
"For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."
And he vanished without a tres!
Did you hear about the redneck magician?
He turns a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.
There was a famous Mexican magician.
His name was Gustavo. His signature trick is he would say "Uno, dos," and *poof*! He would disappear without a tres.
Whats you father's occupation?
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'Uno, dos… and poof!
He disappeared without a tres.
Mexican Magician
Uno... Dos... Poof
He disappeared...
Without a tres.
A magician gets himself a parrot for his act
After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"
Magician: I can make anything disappear!
Tom: (holding up a cup) Really? Make my tea disappear.
Magician: (waves hand) Done!
om: (looks in cup) It didn't work.
A Mexican Magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3...
He says, Uno, Dos........ *poof*....... he disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear at the count of 3
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear at the count of 3.
He goes,"Uno, Dos...." and POOF!
He disappears without a Tres.
With great flourish, the Mexican magician exclaimed, "On the count of three, I shall make myself disappear!"
"Uno!!!"
"Dos!!!"
...and then he vanished, without a tres.
A short joke for my cakeday
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." poof. He disappeared without a tres.
Spanish Magician
A Spanish magician announced to his audience that "he would disappear on the count of three" then said "uno, dos" and then disappeared without a tres.
Did you hear about the mexican magician?
He said, "I'm going to disappear." "Uno, dos,..." He was gone without a tres :-)
A few years ago, I saw a Hispanic magician
My favorite trick was at end, when he said he would dissappear at the count of three.
And he started counting "Uno...."
"Dos.... "
And poof, he was gone. Without a Tres.
Did you hear about the magician that had chocolate in his shirt?
He had some Twix up his sleeve
Little Johnny, the magician's son
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the schoolteacher.
"He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher.
"He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny.
"Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
And Little Johnny said, "One half brother and two half sisters."
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3
He says "uno, dos..." *poof*. He disappeared without a tres.
Why did the magician flunk out of school?
He couldn't spell.
What'd the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod. Any cod.
(Ayyy, my 8yo loved it. )
Did you hear about the candy magician?
He's got a couple of twix up his sleeve
There was a Mexican magician who was about to disappear on the count of three. He said "uno... dos-" and vanished.
He disappeared without a tres
The street magician
A street magician pulls out a deck of cards and asks a bystander to pick a card and memorize it. The magician then draws a card facing away so he can't see it and has his participant memorize that too. He shuffles the deck, cuts it, and pulls the card on top and asks "Is this your card?" The amazed participant replies "yes!" So the magician pulls the card on the bottom and asks "is this my card?" To which a now confused participant says "No, that's just a picture of... My coat?" The magician responds
"Oh shit I did it wrong. That's your cardigan"
Why did the Mafia hire a magician?
They heard he was an expert in making people disappear.
A bald magician pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Then he put the rabbit right on top of his head and gently lowered the hat down over the rabbit until the rabbit was completely covered. After a couple seconds of wearing the hat, the magician quickly lifted the hat back up, and presto!
there wasn't a hare on his head
What do you call a Jewish magician who only summons furniture?
Bench Appearo.
Did you hear about the magician who made an entire art gallery disappear?
Now museum, now you don't
During a show, a magician asked for a volunteer from the audience and a blonde walked up to the stage.
"Think of a number between 1 and 10," he said.
Silence.
After a moment he cleared his throat.
Nothing.
After another moment he asked the blonde, "Are you ready?"
She started crying and said, "If you keep interrupting me I'll never be able to come up with one!"
Two magicians are walking down the street.
One turns into a bar.
An elementary school teacher was meeting her new class
She pointed to one student and asked "What does your father do for a living?"
The boy said "My father's a magician! He has a new act that ends with sawing people in half."
"That's wonderful!" said the teacher. "And do you have any siblings?"
"Yes," said the boy- "I have a half brother and a half sister."
