The Best 67 Magician Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Magician jokes. There are some magician warlock jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these magician hocus puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Magician Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?

Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

Two magicians were walking down the street...

one turned into a store.

Magician joke, Two magicians were walking down the street...

Two magicians walk into a bakery

The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."

My dad's a magician

Bob: What does your father do for a living?

Joe: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.

Bob: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Joe: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.


"Uno, dos..."

And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres.

A magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3.

He says "uno... Dos..." And then vanishes.

He disappeared without a tres.

Magician joke, A magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3.

The Mexican Magician

A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres.

A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick

The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!

Hispanic Magician

So a Mexican magician stands up in front of his audience and tells them, "Ok hombres, on the count of three, I'm gonna make myself disappear! Uno, dos..." POOF! He disappeared without a tres.

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3...

He says "uno... dos..." *poof*! and disappears without a tres.

You can explore magician witch reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean magician disappear dad jokes. There are also magician puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A spanish magician ...

A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.

I once saw a Mexican magician

He pulled me on stage and said he would make me disappear by the count of three. I didn't believe. Without warning he started counting. "Uno...Dos..." and *Poof*. I was gone without a Tres.

The Spanish magician

So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three".
"Unos..... Dos...." *BANG!" in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres.

Did you hear the one about the Mexican magician?

He told his audience that he'd disappear on the count of 3. He counted "Uno! Dos!"... And disappeared without a tres.

A magician was driving down the road when suddenly...

He turned into a driveway!

Magician joke, A magician was driving down the road when suddenly...

A magician walks into a gay bar

and disappears with a poof.

A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *POOF*

He disappeared without a tres.

I went to see a Spanish magician

I went to see a Spanish magician and he told the crowd that he could make himself disappear on the count of three.

He started counting.

"Uno! Dos!"

And then he was gone. Without a tres.


A few days ago i saw an amazing magician...

When he opened his jacket and screamed Allahu Akbar he disappeared along with 30 others.

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

A Spanish magician is at a party

He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.

He disappeared without a tres.

What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador!

I am not sorry.

My Dad Is A Magician

He can turn alcohol into domestic violence... But his disappearing act is even better.

I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician...

...when I pulled a habit out of a rat.

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

A girl asks a boy "What does your dad do for a living?''

He replies "He's a magician."

She asks "Is he good?"

He says "Yeah, he disappeared 8 years ago."

I think my girlfriend is a magician.

She makes my paycheck disappear.

A Mexican magician tells his audience...

"I will disappear on the count of three."
He counts down.. "Uno... dos..."
And then he disappears, without a tres.

There was a mexican magician...

...Who said "On the count of three, I will vanish!"

And so he counted, "Uno... Dos..."

And then he vanished, without a tres.

My girlfriend is a magician...

She creates problems out of thin air

A Mexican magician tells a crowd he's going to disappear on the count of three...

He begins the countdown. "Uno, dos..." then, poof! He disappeared without a tres.

Happy Cinco De Mayo. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three

He says "uno, dos..." then disappears without a tres.

A Mexican magician once counted...

Uno, dos and vanished without a tres.

There was once a great Mexican Magician...

There was once a great Mexican Magician. He was world-renowned for his incredible feats. His most famous act, though, was his vanishing act. He would count;
uno
dos
and suddenly he would disappear without a tres.

A Mexican magician said he was going to do a magic trick.

"Uno, dos..." *poof* he disappeared without a tres.

My dad is a magician

he could turn alcohol into child abuse

A Mexican magician came up to me and said "I can disappear in 3 seconds"

"uno"

"dos"

...

he disappeared without a tres.

A magician lost a leg during his performance.

The audience was suprised he could pull it off.

My dad is the world's greatest magician..

He told me to close my eyes and he dissapeared without a trace for over 23 years.

A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3

He says uno, dos... then POOF, he disappears without a tres

I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.."

And then he disappeared without a tres

A magician says to his audience...

A magician says to his audience "I can make myself appear in 100 different places in this room". He says "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Nothing happens so he tries once again, "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Still nothing happens. Flustered he asks to be excused while he checks his handbook. He closes the book and says " Sorry, I've been saying the wrong magic word, 3, 2, 1, Allahu Akbar!" Needless to say his audience was blown away.

Did you hear about the Spanish speaking magician?

He counted from uno to dos and disappeared without a tres.

What do you call a magician without the magic?

Ian

A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos...

And *Poof*..... He disappeared without a tres.

A Spanish magician was showing a trick..

"For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."

And he vanished without a tres!

Did you hear about the redneck magician?

He turns a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.

What do you call a magician who doesn't do magic?

Ian

There was a famous Mexican magician.

His name was Gustavo. His signature trick is he would say "Uno, dos," and *poof*! He would disappear without a tres.

Whats you father's occupation?

Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'Uno, dos… and poof!

He disappeared without a tres.

Mexican Magician

Uno... Dos... Poof

He disappeared...

Without a tres.

A magician gets himself a parrot for his act

After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."

The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.

Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"

Magician: I can make anything disappear!

Tom: (holding up a cup) Really? Make my tea disappear.

Magician: (waves hand) Done!

om: (looks in cup) It didn't work.

A Mexican Magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3...

He says, Uno, Dos........ *poof*....... he disappeared without a tres.

What do you call a magician before he learn magic?

Ian

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear at the count of 3

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear at the count of 3.

He goes,"Uno, Dos...." and POOF!

He disappears without a Tres.

With great flourish, the Mexican magician exclaimed, "On the count of three, I shall make myself disappear!"

"Uno!!!"



"Dos!!!"



...and then he vanished, without a tres.

I was in Mexico last weekend enjoying what the entertainment has to offer....

...ended up going to this magic show that was highly recommended. The Magician came on stage and started the show with a disappearing act. He said "Pay close attention as I will vanish into thin air on the count of three"

He started counting... "uno....dos..."

And sure as shit he disappeared without a Tres.

A short joke for my cakeday

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." poof. He disappeared without a tres.

One of you bastards stole my wallet!

[reaches into pocket and discovers wallet is there]

... and one of you is a magician!

Magicians are celebrating 100 years of sawing people in half

I'm split in two about it.

Spanish Magician

A Spanish magician announced to his audience that "he would disappear on the count of three" then said "uno, dos" and then disappeared without a tres.

Did you hear about the mexican magician?

He said, "I'm going to disappear." "Uno, dos,..." He was gone without a tres :-)

What did the magician say just before he pulled a dead rabbit out of his hat?

Abra Cadaver.

What does a balding magician have in his hat?

Hare.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the magician juggler jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working magician the magician and the parrot piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes