The Best 67 Magical Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Magical jokes. There are some magical labra jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these magical magical apples puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Magical Jokes and Puns

Everyone is familiar with the story of the Wizard of Oz, right?

Dorothy and her dog get flown away in a tornado, and end up in the magical land of Oz. Obviously Dorothy misses her family and home, but her dog, Toto, he misses the rains down in Africa."

My magical watch just told me you aren't wearing any panties.

Oh, you are? Hmmmmm...must be an hour off...

Thor the God of Thunder

So Thor, the God of Thunder, is sitting on his cloud on Asgard when he suddenly wants to visit the humans. He jumps on his magical flying horse and rides down to them. When he gets there he proclaims, "I AM THOR!" to which his horse replies, "Well, that's because you forgot your thaddle thilly."

Magical joke, Thor the God of Thunder

A man is in the desert..

and he hasn't drink or eat in a few days. Suddenly, this magical fairy appears, but she has no water or food. She gave him all she could. The man finishes the bottle of warm liquid quickly and asks for another bottle. The fairy gives him another bottle and the man finished it quickly. The man asks for a third bottle, but the fairy says,"Sorry, you'll have to wait until next month."

Double Genie

A man comes across a magical lamp with a genie inside who grants him 3 wishes. The only stipulation is that whatever he wishes for, his ex-wife gets double.

The man says, "I wish for a million dollars." The genie replies, "It is done. Your ex-wife gets 2 million."

The man says, "I wish for a mansion." The genie replies, "It is done. your ex-wife now has 2 mansions."

The man says, "For my last wish... I wish you would beat me half to death."


So there's this magical mountain...

...where people jump off, and land in a pool of whatever they yell. There are three chicks, a brown-haired girl, and brunette, and a blonde. The brown-haired girl jumps, and yells "CANDY!", and lands in a huge pool of candy. The brunette jumps off and yells "MONEY!", and lands in a pool of money. The blonde jumps and yells "CANNONBALL!".

Where do magical animals go to jail?

Azkabarn

Magical joke, Where do magical animals go to jail?

An Irishman, Russian and the Blonde...

An Irishman, Russian and a Blonde come across a magical slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Russian amazed slides down screaming "VODKA!", and lands into bottles of vodka at the bottom. The Blonde takes her turn, and without hesitation shouts "WEEEE!" as she slides down.

What do you call a man with magical pee?

A wizzard

Why is Gandalf's cupcake shop so successful?

Because he has a magical staff.

What do you call a magical creature with a skin disease?

A leperchaun.

You can explore magical warlock reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean magical conjurer dad jokes. There are also magical puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Magical tractor

I was watching a magical tractor driving down the road, when all of a sudden out of nowhere it turned into a field!

A brunette and a blonde are stranded on an island.

Suddenly, a magical genie appears to them. He says, "You girls have stumbled upon an unfortunate fate. Therefore, I will grant you each one wish."

The brunette says, "I wish I were home with my family!"

"So it is done," the genie says, and the girl is poofed home.

The blonde looks over to where her friend had just been standing and says, "Aw man, I wish she hadn't left me here."

Magical Mirror

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth β€” if you lie, you disappear.

One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. I think I'm the smartest woman on earth. POOF! She disappears.

The redhead goes up to try. I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth. POOF! She disappears.

The blonde goes up. I think– POOF!"

Our love was magical..

it vanished like one of Houdini's disappearing acts

The Magic Watch

The worlds most sexy girl is sitting in a bar. A man walks up to the bar counter and looks at his fancy watch. The girl glances at it and says to the man:
"Is your date late?"
"No, you see, this is a magical watch. It tells me about my surroundings. Right now, for instance, it tells me that you have no panties on." The man responded.
"Well, then you watch is not so magical after all, because it's wrong." She said cleverly.
"Oh wait, it's an hour early."

Magical joke, The Magic Watch

I think Android application developers are magical.

They're like open sorcerers.

How many magical fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, the tricky part is getting them both inside there.

There was a magical tractor...

There was a magical tractor traveling down the road. Then it turned in to a farm.


What do you call a magical dwarf?

A midgetcian!

A magical mirror will suck in anyone who lies to it.

A skinny brunette goes up to the mirror and says "I think I'm fat" Boom sucked in. A redhead goes up to the mirror singing a Stevie Wonder song and says "I think I can sing soul music" Boom sucked in. Finally the blonde goes up to the mirror and says "I think---" Boom and the mirror sucks her in!

I have an ear infection...and it hurts

If anyone has a magical cure for this, i'm all ears.

Baby monitors are magical

When I turn it off my baby stops crying

Harry Potter lost his virginity on a magical evening.

Or, as they say in Hogwarts, a Wednesday.

I finally told her those three magical words every woman wish to hear..

I give up!

Your vehicle has this magical lever

That shows which direction you're turning

I was in bed with a woman and she said, I want tonight to be magical

And it was. After we had sex, I disappeared.

The South is a magical place.

It has the most wizards.

I did a Marquez impression in the hood...

... I was the magical realest.

So Boxing Day, its a magical time of year,

when companies send you amazing emails with pictures of all the stuff you just brought from them, at half price.

I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it.

It's called a calculator.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde visit a magical bridge.

The sign reads "Magical bridge: Jump off the bridge and shout out what you want to land in and so it shall be."

The brunette goes first, she climbs on the rail, jumps off and yells "Pillows!" She lands safe and sound in a pile of pillows.

The redhead jumps next. " Hundred dollar bills!" She yells and lands in a huge pile of money.

The blonde goes last. She climbs up, jumps off and gets scared. She yells "Oh shiiiiiiiit!"

There's a magical being that consumes seconds, minutes, and hours for food who will go away if you feed it enough

It takes time

News from the Zimbabwean Lotto

and for a magical 100,000th time the winner is...

Robert Mugabe

There was a magical young lady, eating lunch in the desert

It was a sandwich

So I saw Amy Schumer perform live...

The Kentucky Derby really is magical!

A thought about Del Toro's The Shape of Water

The Shape of Water is a story about a woman who falls in love with an otherworldly creature that learns how to communicate, has a funny scene where he interacts with a domestic setting and has magical healing hands. He is also returned to his natural environment, almost dying on the way by a plucky protagonist dodging authority.

However, the protagonist also has a love scene with him.

You could say that this is *BestialE.T.*

What do you call a magical sailor who's in love?

A row-mancer.

Since it's Women's day my girlfriend wanted sex to be magical tonight

So I disappeared in the morning

I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.

I call it "Book Club"

A Lumberjack walks into a Magical Forest..

He finds a mighty tree and begins to chop it down. As soon as he starts chopping, the tree yells out "Stop it! I'm a talking tree!" The lumber jack responds, "And you'll dialogue."

I was in bed with a woman recently... She said "Baby, I want this night to be magical."

It was. After we made love, I disappeared.

My girlfriend said she wanted our relationship to be magical! So we made passionate love...

And then I disappeared. -Jimmy Carr

A woodsman walks into the woods

He finds a nice tree to chop down, AMD upon taking his axe the tree cries out
"WAIT! IM A MAGICAL TALKING TREE, DONT CUT ME DOWN"
He said "You ma uh be a talking tree but you will dialouge."

What breed of dog is magical?

The Labra-Cadabrador

A lumberjack goes into a magical forest to chop down some wood..

He goes up to the first tree he sees, and just as he's about to swing, the tree says, "Wait! Don't kill me! I'm a talking tree!"

"Yes," the lumberjack says, "and you'll dialogue."

Who has been magically making Nintendo money?

Nintendo'S witch

If there's a Scottish man out there with a magical smile that cheers up anyone he encounters....

Then beam me up Scotty!

This Magical item can prove any man guilty of a crime he did not commit

Women's tears

What do you call a magical pasta that grants you three wishes?

Fettu-genie alfredo :D

....magical blonde wizard wlaks ito a bra

**blonde:** ...where's my spell checker?

What do you call someone who believes in a magical bearded sky fairy?

A religious liar.

Did you hear about the magical gorilla taking ceramics class at Hogwarts?

It's a Hairy Potter.

When I was 6, I had a magical rock that could write on cars...

My dad didn't like my magical rock...

An Italian tells a magical door, "Open!"

"Says who?" Asks the door. The man replies, "Open, says-a me!"

I heard about the story of the magical dock

The story goes that the dock was never built by anyone, but one day, it just apiered

You wouldn't think that a pastry frosting made from magical trees would be very good,

but it's actually enticing!

Making love for the first time

Before my girlfriend and i made love for the first time, she said, "i want this night to be magical"

so after we made love

***i disappeared***

A kid finds a magical lamp...

He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says, What is your first wish? The kid says, I wish I were rich! The genie replies, It is done! What is your second wish, Rich?

A kid finds a magical lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a Genie appears and says,

Β  What is your firstΒ wish? Β 

The kid says, IΒ wish I were rich! Β 

The genie replies,Β  It is done! What isΒ your second wish,Β Rich?

What do you call a magical dog?

A labracadabrador.

What's the most magical grain for college students?

Uni corn

My Wife and I were blissfully happy for 25 magical years..

.. and then we met.

I love it when a woman says those magical words which means she's up for sex tonight

"This drink tastes funny"

~Jimmy Carr

A magical spanish thief was caught trying to steal an early work of a famous artist

In his defeat, he declared they could keep the work, but he would set himself free on the count of three. He said "Uno...Dos...." and then poof, he vanished without a trace.

A classic Russian joke...

An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are stranded on an uninhabited island. They build a shelter, catch fish for food and suddenly catch a magical Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:

The American says: "A million dollars and to go back home!" He vanishes.

The Frenchman says: "Three beautiful women and to go back home!" He vanishes as well.

The Russian look around at the deserted island, and says: "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Three crates of vodka and the two fellas back!"

A man finds a magical lamp.

He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says, "What is your first wish?" The man says, "I wish I were rich!" The genie snaps his fingers and replies, "Your wish has been granted! What is your second wish, Rich?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the magical magic slide jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working magical magic frog piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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