Madness Jokes
44 madness jokes and hilarious madness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about madness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From madness band to madness combat, this article collects the best of the funniest madness jokes around. Check out the classic jokes like Nutcase, Benefactor and Maniacal and get ready for some good old fashion March Madness. Plus, don't miss the latest addition to the mix, the Multiverse of Madness.
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Funniest Madness Short Jokes
Short madness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The madness humour may include short insanity jokes also.
- Word is Hollywood executives are mad about Elliot Page transitioning from a woman to a man... Now they'll have to pay him 20% more...
- My wife found out i was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding... She got so mad and said she's never gonna play scrabble with me ever again
- The creator of Mad Libs died this week. His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
- Prisoner: I'm sorry I tried to escape. Guard: I'm not mad, just........disappointed.
Remember, kids, never let your guard down. - My roommates get mad when I steal their kitchen utensils. But it's a whisk I'm willing to take.
- I got into an argument with my daughter and she shouted, "1, 3, 5, 7, 9!" I asked her, "What's that supposed to mean?"
She said, "I'm so mad, I can't even!" - How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. - Dear Humans, You get mad at me when I work....You get mad at me when I don't work.
Sincerely,
Confused alarm clock. - I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad.
- Eight year old tells funniest joke My eight year old cousin told me this one:
Why was beethoven mad at his chicken?
Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach
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Madness One Liners
Which madness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with madness? I can suggest the ones about madman and stupidity.
- I hate when my girlfriend gets mad at me for being lazy It's not like I did anything
- When i was born I was so mad at my parents I didn't talk to them for two years
- My girlfriend is mad at me According to her diary, I have "boundary issues".
- Why did Republicans get mad when Sting got a facelift? Because they hate Police reform.
- What has 9 letters and makes everyone mad? Clickbait
- Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts? It's not my fault I'm blind.
- Don't get mad at people who call you fat You're bigger than that
- My wife is mad at me. Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues.
- Don't be mad at lazy people. They didn't do anything.
- Why was the tumblrina mad at the gamer? He was pushing the right trigger.
- Why is menopause called menopause? Because mad cow disease was taken
- I introduced my girlfriend to my family the other day. My wife was so mad.
- Drive safe I saw a driver texting and driving.
It made me so mad I threw my beer at him. - Math Puns The first sine of madness.
- Why was the computer mad when he got home? It had a hard drive
March Madness Jokes
Here is a list of funny march madness jokes and even better march madness puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Saw a woman in Walmart who had march madness teeth this morning She was down to her final 4!!!
- I ran into R. Kelly while he was filling out a March Madness bracket. He was picking primarily the 14s and 15s.
Turns out he's really into #1 too. - celebrating pi day isn't as fun as watching basketball I once watched a month full of march madness. From behind the arc I saw a three point won four.... won five games.
- I saw a woman in Walmart with March Madness teeth. She was down to the Final Four.
- Q: What did March say to the madness? A: "What's all that bracket?"
- I hate March Madness because it's too Canadian. You know, the NC double Eh.
- What do you call someone with March Madness who doesn't even like basketball? A hypochondriac
- This is blasphemy! This is madness! This.....is......March!
- Miskatonic University Eliminated First Round of NCAA Tournament Officials cite g**... misunderstanding of March Madness …
Madness Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny madness band jokes and even better madness band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- To my confusion, my friend kept getting mad at me for making boy band references and was asking me to stop.... ...but she seemed to only get more mad when I asked her to tell me why
Ridiculous Madness Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about madness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crazy mad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make madness pranks.
The wife phoned me and said, "You better come to the hospital. My mother hasn't got long to live!"
I replied, "But it's March Madness! All the basketball games are important!"
She said, "Record it and watch it later."
You should have seen her face when I turned up at the hospital with the camcorder and the tripod…
Movie theater madness
A young lad did some work for a farmer and when he was done was given a goose as barter payment. He tucked the goose under his arm and began walking home. As he was passing through town he noticed that a movie that he wanted to see was playing at the theater. Since they didn't allow animals he stuffed the goose down his pants, paid for his ticket and found a seat in the packed theater next to two old ladies as the lights dimmed.
The goose began to struggle and not wanting to be discovered, the young man inconspicuously unzipped his fly so that the goose could breathe. Shortly thereafter, one of the old ladies nudged the other, "Edna, the boy sitting next to me has his fly unzipped and something is sticking out!"
"Martha", her companion replied,"When you've seen one you've seen 'em all."
"Well you've never seen one like this before. It's eating my popcorn!"
My maths teacher always goes off on tangents in class
They say it's the first sine of madness
What's it like milking a crazy cow?
Udder madness.
I told my doctor I had a case of Macho Madness. He asked, Really? I said
#OH YEAH!!!!
There's a reason they call it "March Madness".
A Duke fan, a Kentucky fan, and a Tennessee fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most.
The Tennessee fan insists that he is the most loyal and then yells This is for the Vols! and jumps off the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the UK fan next professes his love for his team. He screams This is for the Cats! and pushes the Duke fan off the mountain.
What did Bruce Dickinson reply when he was asked to play in a tour?
Can I play with Madness?
Why is it wrong to remove the leaves from a tree?
It's shear madness.
Cruel March Madness Odds
If you want a sure thing in your men's NCAA tournament pool, you'll need to fill out the 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 brackets necessary to guarantee a winner. Just leave yourself *plenty* of time to finish them all*:* if you filled out one bracket every second it would take you 292 billion years to cover all the possibilities.
An old lady is driving on the motorway...
when a cop drives by and sees that she is knitting whilst driving. So the cop trying to stop this madness realizes he needs to do something. So he shouts over to the lady "Pullover!"
The old woman replies "No, its a cardigan!"
I listened to our house for ten seconds.
It was a moment of madness.
How can you tell if you going crazy?
Because puns about mathematics are usually the first sine of madness
LPT: The cure to madness is to move on and never dwell for too long.
Then you will be a nomad.
