Madman Jokes
18 madman jokes and hilarious madman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about madman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Madman Short Jokes
Short madman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The madman humour may include short maniac jokes also.
- A Spanish madman recently bombed a train station... Everybody's saying he had loco motives.
- I told a psychiatric ward patient to stand in the middle of two black poles ... and he did it ! The absolute madman!
- Did you hear about the knife-wielding madman who attacked a circus camp the other day? He went straight for the juggler.
- Trump's best joke to date: "I won't rule out direct talks with Kim Jong Un. I just won't"
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"As far as the risk of dealing with a madman is concerned, that's his problem, not mine,
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Madman One Liners
Which madman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with madman? I can suggest the ones about bad man and madness.
- What kind of person disables adblock? A madman.
- So I told my friend to drink v**..., and he actually did it. the Absolut madman.
Quirky and Hilarious Madman Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about madman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mad scientist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make madman pranks.
A koala bear walks into a brothel picks out the best looking girl and heads upstairs with her.
While up there he eats her out like a madman doing things she's never even heard of.
After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.
The girl stops him and demands payment.
The bear doesn't understand. She has him look up p**... in the dictionary, a person who trades s**... for money. Still a little confused he asks what does it say about me.
Koala bear, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves.
So this r**... in New York is getting mugged...
and he fights like a wildcat, but eventually the three toughs overcome him. Two hold him down while the third grabs his wallet and opens it.
"Ten dollars??!!? You fought like a madman for *15 minutes* for a lousy ten bucks?"
"Oh no!" replied the r**.... "I thought you were going after the $500 in my shoe!"
!!BAD DRIVERS!!
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "**David, be careful!** I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!"
David says, "I know, but there isn't just one, **there are hundreds!**"
An elderly woman is watching the local news
An elderly woman is watching the local news and hears about a madman driving the wrong direction on the highway that her husband takes home. Worrying, she calls her husband and tells him about the insane driver. The man replies, it's worse than you think! It's not just 1, there's hundreds of them!
A man is standing on the Red Square in Moscow with a banner: "Death to the b**... madman"
Promptly, the police appears. "What, are you against our glorious leader Vladimir Putin?". And so the police beats him up.
"Wait, stop! I was protesting against Zelensky - the b**... madman!" - the man shouts as he is being dragged into the police car.
"Shut up, you. We all know who the b**... madman is here".
A woman called her husband about what she had seen on the news.
She says, "Watch out honey! There's a madman driving on the wrong side of the highway."
The husband replies, "One? There are hundreds of them!"
Wife asks her man a serious question one day...
It was a beautiful morning, however wife had a serious question to ask her husband.
"Babe", she reckoned. "If I die tomorrow, how will you be affected by my death?"
Husband did not question the intent behind asking such a question, indeed he was smart.
"Babe, if I lose you, I'll become a madman, I'd drive myself CRAZY !", he reckoned.
Feeling satisfied with his response, she further questioned, "So you wouldn't marry someone else once I'm gone is it?"
"I don't know babe, a CRAZY man could do anything", he replied.
Drunk driving
A drunk guy was driving home on the wrong side of the road. His wife saw the scene live on TV and in horror rushed to call him: "Hello?! Are you driving home? Be careful, there is a madman driving on the wrong side of the road!". He replies: "I know, there isn't only one, there are hundreds!".
An edited version of a joke that's been already posted.
A proton, a neutron, and an electron got into a bar fight.
The bartender called the police, but when the officers arrived, they only arrested the proton. Confused, the bartender asked, why did you only arrest the proton?
To which one of the officers replied, well you see, the electron kept running around the proton like a madman, so we couldn't know its exact location. And no one can press charges on the neutron.
Letter to a madman
Inside a hospice, a madman approaches the others with a blank paper, examining it with attention. The other crazy people can not resist curiosity and ask:
_ What is it?
The crazy one with the letter, responds
_ A letter from my brother
Even for the other crazy people, that was too absurd.
_ But the letter is blank.
The madman responds serenely
_ We do not talk anymore
An old man is driving on the Freeway, when his wife calls him
"Honey, be careful, there is a madman driving on the wrong side of the freeway. I just heard this on the radio".
*"Not just one honey, I see hundreds of them, they are all driving on the wrong side"*
