Madame Jokes

Funniest Madame Short Jokes

Short madame jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The madame humour may include short madam sir jokes also.

1. Doctor: it looks like you are pregnant madame. Lady: Wow, I'm pregnant?
   Doctor: No, but you look like it.
2. Original & Classic Winston Churchill (not my retort) Lady Astor said to Churchill, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea," to which he responded, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"
3. "Madam, do you want the father to be present during the childbirth?" "No way! That way, my husband would meet him!"
4. I'd like to buy a bed, please. Certainly, madam. Spring mattress? Oh, no! I want to be able to use it all year.
5. Wait, what do you mean Madame Curie is dead? Because the last time I saw her, she was positively glowing!
6. A woman goes in to a butchers shop Lady: Is that a pigs head in your window?
   Butcher: No madam, it's a mirror.
7. I was going to write something about Madame Tussauds Museum. But I don't want to wax poetic.
8. Madam, your son just called me ugly! The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
9. "I'm afraid your son might never walk again, madam." "Oh my God, doctor! Is he paralyzed?"
   "No, just really lazy."
10. Working at a brothel A madam was asked how it is to work at a brothel
    It's fine, people come and go

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Madame One Liners

Which madame one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with madame? I can suggest the ones about missus and lady.

1. What did the Madam say when the brothel went out of business? Beat it! We're closed.
2. Why did the abused boy not want to visit Madame Tussauds? Because it was full of whacks.
3. I saw a pair of men fencing at a wax museum. Madame Twoswords
4. What did Sir 2% say to Madam Skim? You make me feel whole.
5. Q: What was the world's first palindrome?
   A: Madam, I'm Adam.
6. Mike Pence is being chased through a Carson City neighborhood by an angry madam.
7. I'm sorry Madam, your child has cancer... ...as his zodiac sign.
8. What do you call the second-most hated politician in America? Madam President.
9. What did Einstein say to Ghandi about Madame Curie? Nothing, they're both dead.
10. What does a French b**... call her home? (From my 8 year old) Madame
11. What did the German Madame do at the start of Oktoberfest? Lead her h**... in
12. A dwarf once walked into a brothel... with a honeycomb and a j**...; the madam says,..

Madame Tussauds Jokes

Here is a list of funny madame tussauds jokes and even better madame tussauds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a guy who picks up prostitutes from Madame Tussauds Wax Museum? John Wick
• I just skillfully removed a cup of wax from Kim Jong's left ear using a penknife. Madam Tussaud's have now banned me for life.

Gather Around for Fun Madame Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about madame you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean old lady jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make madame pranks.