Mad Jokes

Funniest Mad Short Jokes

Short mad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mad humour may include short nutty jokes also.

1. My wife found out i was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding... She got so mad and said she's never gonna play scrabble with me ever again
2. The creator of Mad Libs died this week. His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
3. Prisoner: I'm sorry I tried to escape. Guard: I'm not mad, just........disappointed.
   Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
4. I got into an argument with my daughter and she shouted, "1, 3, 5, 7, 9!" I asked her, "What's that supposed to mean?"
   She said, "I'm so mad, I can't even!"
5. Dear Humans, You get mad at me when I work....You get mad at me when I don't work.
   Sincerely,
   Confused alarm clock.
6. I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad.
7. Eight year old tells funniest joke My eight year old cousin told me this one:
   Why was beethoven mad at his chicken?
   Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach
8. Tesla founder elon musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange You'd think he was from mad-at-gas-car.
9. My mate just watched the Chernobyl documentary and, having grown up in Ukraine in the 1980s, he was pretty mad. And I get it, too. He counted at least eight historical inaccuracies on one hand.
10. I debated a flat earther once. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. He'll come around eventually.

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Mad One Liners

Which mad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mad? I can suggest the ones about madman and crazy mad.

1. I hate when my girlfriend gets mad at me for being lazy It's not like I did anything
2. When i was born I was so mad at my parents I didn't talk to them for two years
3. My girlfriend is mad at me According to her diary, I have "boundary issues".
4. Why did Republicans get mad when Sting got a facelift? Because they hate Police reform.
5. What has 9 letters and makes everyone mad? Clickbait
6. Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts? It's not my fault I'm blind.
7. Don't get mad at people who call you fat You're bigger than that
8. Don't be mad at lazy people. They didn't do anything.
9. Why was the tumblrina mad at the gamer? He was pushing the right trigger.
10. Why is menopause called menopause? Because mad cow disease was taken
11. Drive safe I saw a driver texting and driving.
    It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
12. Math Puns The first sine of madness.
13. Why was the computer mad when he got home? It had a hard drive
14. My friend gets mad when I mention he only has one ball. That's no reason to get testy.
15. I just lost my thesaurus. Not only am I mad, but I'm also mad.

Mad Cow Jokes

Here is a list of funny mad cow jokes and even better mad cow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around? Yeah, the other cow says. Makes me glad I'm a penguin.
• Two cows on a hill. One cow ask the other, have you herd of the mad cow disease? The other cow says, yeah, but why do I care? I'm a helicopter!
• 2 Cows in a feild.. one says "what do you think of that mad cow disease?" The other replies "I dunno, it doesn't effect me, I'm a duck"
• Why is Pre-Menstrual Syndrome called Pre-Menstrual Syndrome? Mad Cow Disease was already taken
• 2 cows were standing in a field One cow asks the other "Arent you afraid of getting Mad Cow Disease?"
  And the other cow replies "Why should I? Im a helicopter"
• Two cows are standing around talking... "Hey, have you been following the news? All this mad cow disease going around is scary!"
  "Yeah! thank god we're elephants."
• What's it like milking a crazy cow? Udder madness.
• what is the difference between a sad ghost and an angry cow? one boos sadly the other moos madly
• Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says, "hey, I'm really worried about this mad cow disease going around". The second cow says, "I don't care, I'm a submarine!".
• Cow land Two cows are standing in a field.
  One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
  The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

Mad Cow Disease Jokes

Here is a list of funny mad cow disease jokes and even better mad cow disease puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Cow 1: Hey are you worried about getting mad cow disease? Cow 2: Why would I.. I'm an airplane?
• Did you hear the one about mad cow disease? Ahhh, never mind. You won't get it.
• Did you hear about the mad cow disease outbreak? It was udder pandemonium
• Mad Cow Disease has been found to be transmitted to calves when being breastfed It's udder insanity
• Two cows met... and one said "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?".
  "Why would I? I'm a helicopter!".
• Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ?
  Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
• What do you get when you cross a white cow with mad cow disease and a grizzly bear? A bi-polar bear.
• I use to have mad cow Disease But I'm alright Nooooooooooooooooooow.

Mad Scientist Jokes

Here is a list of funny mad scientist jokes and even better mad scientist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• In his quest to gain more power, the mad scientist extended his hours at the lab. This is after he discovered that power is work overtime.
• People say Elon Musk is a mad scientist. Do you think he relates to Dr. Jekyll? Because I've always heard he benefited from having a part Hyde.
• Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado? Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.
• Just watched a movie where a mad scientist rigs a DeLorean to time travel and he paints everything purple, it's called... "Back to the Fuschia"
• So, the mad scientist duo finally succeeded And the universe was destroyed by a pair o' docs
• What was Tesla after Edison stole his ideas? A Mad Scientist
• Why wouldn't a mad scientist destroy the world? A mad scientist would never destroy the world.
  ...Half the world maybe. That would be enough to have a control group.
• how do you tell the difference between a psychiatrist and an evil mad scientist? you can't! you're clinically insane!
• Why does work get scientists mad? Because it's mass times acceleration times distance.
• I just got a new job working for a mad scientist. I think I only got the job because of the curve in my back, but it's just a hunch.

Crazy Mad Jokes

Here is a list of funny crazy mad jokes and even better crazy mad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The song Jungle Love is stuck in my head. It's driving me mad.
  It's making me crazy.
• How can you tell if you going crazy? Because puns about mathematics are usually the first sine of madness
• My wife always gets mad and tells me I'm gaslighting her. I just tell her that she's being crazy.
• I saw duck on the lake today It was going crazy, flapping madly and just generally agitated.
  It was quacking up.
• How do you call it when a crazy rabbit forges $100 bills? Mad bunny making bad money
• What is a nomad? Someone who is not crazy. Nomad= No+mad.

Your Mad Jokes

Here is a list of funny your mad jokes and even better your mad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I wouldn't be mad. And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life". But John came fifth and won a toaster.
• My girlfriend always gets mad when I mess with her red wine… So I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now she's sangria then ever…
• Hillary's mad at Satan Hillary: Satan! We had a deal! Where's the election victory that you promised me?
  Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had?
• My wife is actually mad at me for being so excited to see her mother tonight.... The viewing is at 7pm.
• I don't know why my friend was mad when I threw his frisbee... He even said it was a new record.
• I Hear that Russia is so mad about the US airstrike in syria That they are seriously considering voting democratic in the next election.
• The girl next door to mine is a pornstar But she is going to be really mad if she finds out
• My sister asked me to bring her something hard to write on. Still don't know why she got so mad. It's pretty hard to write on sand.
• My wife keeps getting mad at me for eating leftovers straight from the fridge. I told her that it's really hard to quit cold turkey.
• Will you get mad? Wife: *Honey, do I look fat in this dress?*
  Husband: *Will you get mad if I tell you the truth?*
  Wife: *No, silly. Of course not*
  Husband: *I slept with your sister*

Hilarious Mad Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about mad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean insane jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mad pranks.