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Macron Jokes

9 macron jokes and hilarious macron puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about macron that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Comedy Macron Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What is a good macron joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Emmanuel Macron meets Putin and tells him...

"You lack freedom in Russia. In Paris, anyone can walk in the street and shout 'Macron is an idiot!', and nobody will touch them."
Putin gives him a basilisk stare and slowly says:
"In Moscow, anyone can walk in the street and shout 'Macron is an idiot!', and nobody will touch them, either."

The pen is mightier than the sword

but it can't defeat Macron.

Now that Macron has won in France and Merkel heads Germany...

they shall be known by their celebrity couple name: Mackerel.

Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog

Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.
Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.
Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all on the dog's b**.... The dog howls in pain, l**... off the mustard from his b**..., whining the whole time. Putin, with a victorious smile on his face: "That's how we do things in Russia: voluntarily, and with a song!"

What's the difference between Trump and Macron?

One can speak English fluently and the other is the US President.

French president Emmanuel Macron is bringing back national service for their armed forces.

French teenagers aren't too worried though. How hard can waving a little white flag actually be?

World Leaders

President Macron, Theresa May and Angela Merkel meet for a summit at the North Sea.
Gazing over the water, May says, "We have a submarine that can stay underwater for 10 days."  Macron responds, "That's nothing, our submarines can stay underwater for 30 days!"  Merkel looks quite ashamed and shies away, when suddenly a U-Boot surfaces, the hatch opens and the commander looks out: "Heil h**..., we need Diesel!"

What do you get when the new French President visits Wisconsin?

Macron and cheese.

Macron and Mohammed bin Salman meet for tea

Macron: "I collect jokes people post about me"
Bin Salman: "That's funny, I collect people who post jokes about me"

Macron joke, Macron and Mohammed bin Salman meet for tea

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Macron joke, Macron and Mohammed bin Salman meet for tea

Macron joke, Macron and Mohammed bin Salman meet for tea